After so ti, Alastia left.
Well, "left"... she still had work to do. The Supre Archmage cannot sit next to
all day, eating pancakes and laughing at my addictions, no matter how much I might want her to. She had to watch over the mages, sotis train soone, sotis just stand there with such a face that everyone around naturally started training better.
I was left alone.
I sat, looked out the window, and thought about what to even do.
It seed too early to sleep. Too lazy to go anywhere. Reading—possible, but I didn't feel like it. Eating—there was nothing left.
So I just sat and thought.
The door opened again.
This ti without a crash. Mira simply walked inside as if she hadn't been gone for long.
"I am incredibly curious," she said from the threshold.
I looked up at her.
"What exactly are you incredibly curious about?"
Mira walked into the room and sat down so calmly, as if she were going to discuss the weather.
"What kind of children you will have."
I was silent for a few seconds.
Then I slowly asked again:
"What?"
"Children," she repeated unbothered. "What they will be like."
I stared at her.
"That thought alone already scares
to the point of trembling," I said honestly. "I'm already not sure I'll have ti for everything. And the very thought that I might turn out to be a bad father..."
Mira waved her hand.
"That's not what I asked about."
"Then what about?"
She tilted her head slightly, examining
as if a particularly rare species of insect was in front of her.
"I'm just curious what they might be born like. You have already changed a bit, after all. Absorbed too many fear demons. You yourself were already... not the most ordinary case. And now your wife is the Supre Archmage."
I grimaced.
"Sounds like you are trying to breed a new species of beast."
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"In a way, yes," Mira said calmly. "I'm curious: will a monster be born, or an ordinary child?"
I frowned.
"What do you an, 'ordinary'?"
Mira was surprised for a second, then shrugged.
"Zenkhald, your children are always born strong, perhaps, but generally without any special talent."
I froze.
"What does 'always' an?"
"Exactly what it ans."
"Mira."
"What?"
"You said that way too casually just now."
"How was I supposed to?" she raised an eyebrow slightly. "With candles? With a dramatic pause? It's not news."
I looked at her, and an unpleasant feeling slowly stirred inside .
Not pain. Not fear.
More like a strange, heavy echo of sothing I didn't rember, but which had clearly already happened.
"Why... don't they inherit my power?" I finally asked.
Mira shrugged.
"I don't know. It's always been like this. Strong in body, resilient, sotis stubborn to the point of absurdity. But they almost never inherited your essence. As if every ti, the world carefully pinches off sothing safe from you, but doesn't let it go any further."
I chuckled involuntarily.
"So even my own children are afraid to take too much from ?"
"Looks like it."
"Wonderful."
Mira looked at
more closely.
"But now everything might be different."
"Because Alastia is strong?"
"Because Alastia isn't 'strong'," she corrected. "She is very strong. And because you are also not quite the one you were before."
I looked away toward the window.
Outside, the day went on as usual. Sowhere in the distance, soone was training. Soone was swearing. Soone, probably, was living their simple, understandable life and not casually discussing what type of monster might one day call them "dad."
"Have you decided what you'll na the child yet?" Mira suddenly asked.
I looked at her like she was crazy.
"Not yet."
"And the gender?"
"I'm not going to peek," I answered imdiately. "Let it be a surprise."
"Hmm."
Mira nodded as if that was a perfectly reasonable answer.
"Alright. We'll wait and see."
I was silent for a bit, then asked:
"Why did you even co? To scare ? Or are you just bored?"
"Both," she said honestly.
"Wonderful. You and Alastia are becoming more and more alike."
"No," Mira answered calmly. "I am more tactful."
I gave a short chuckle.
"That was a very bold lie."
"Perhaps."
She stood up.
"Alright, see you around. I'll drop by from ti to ti."
"Sounds like a threat."
"For you—it is."
She had almost reached the door when I called out to her anyway:
"Mira."
She turned around.
"What?"
I was silent for a couple of seconds.
"Do you think... I'll really be a bad father?"
Mira didn't answer imdiately.
She looked at
completely differently than before—not with curiosity, not mockingly, not as if at a strange object of observation.
Just attentively.
"I think," she finally said, "you will be terrified of it. You will be clumsy. You will get confused at tis. You will pretend that everything is under control when nothing is under control. And you will think too much."
"You know how to be supportive."
"I haven't finished."
She tilted her head slightly.
"But bad? No. Bad fathers usually aren't afraid of turning out bad."
I fell silent.
Mira opened the door.
"So don't worry in advance," she said on her way out. "First, at least make it to having the child. And then you can start panicking."
And she left.
I was left alone.
Looked out the window again. Then at the door. Then sowhere at the floor.
A monster or an ordinary child...Strong or not...A boy or a girl...
I sighed and ran my hand over my face.
"What kind of conversations am I having after the wedding," I muttered.
And then, without noticing how, I started thinking not about fear anymore.
But about a small palm. About a quiet voice. About how soone might grab my finger. About how Alastia would probably argue even with her own child, if they inherit her character. And about how, maybe... just maybe... it wouldn't be so bad after all.
I exhaled quietly.
"Alright," I said to the empty room. "Let it be a surprise."
And for so reason, that thought made
feel a little warr.
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