Since I can rember, I’ve had to drink a bowl of dark sludgy stuff three tis a day. When I beca sensible, I learned that this dark, pitch-black substance was called "dicine."
Then I realized I was different from others. Not because I was born into the high-status Ji Family, but because my body was extrely, extrely frail. Daddy, Mom, and Grandpa treated like porcelain, serving carefully and ticulously, even afraid to speak loudly as if a loud word would shatter .
My range of activities was confined to my bedroom, the garden in front of the bedroom, and the dining room. The dining room was too far away, and given my physical condition, I couldn’t walk that far, so I had to go there in a wheelchair.
The sky I saw was always just the piece above my head, the tall courtyard walls blocking all the scenery outside. It was only later that I learned this place was called Hidden Dragon Mountain.
I had no friends, I didn’t go to school, I wasn’t lonely because I didn’t know what loneliness ant.
All the knowledge that I learned was taught to by Daddy and Mom. When Daddy and Mom were too busy, it was Grandpa who took ti to teach . As I got a bit older, I read books myself, never forgetting anything I read. Knowing this, Grandpa held and said, "Heaven envies the gifted."
As I grew a bit older, besides reading books, I also practiced horse stance which Grandpa said was to strengthen my body. Mom looked worried, afraid I couldn’t withstand it, every ti smiling through gritted teeth, smiling uglier than crying. To comfort her, I told her I was fine and could bear it, but then Mom ran out crying. My range of activities expanded, from the garden in front of to half of the estate, each ti I walked in the garden, I made new discoveries.
One day, Daddy told that he and Mom were going out to work for a while and would bring gifts when they returned. On the surface, I acted indifferent, but actually, I was looking forward to their return and their gifts. They never ca back thereafter, and two black-and-white portraits were added to the family shrine. Grandpa told they went to a far, far place, and I would understand when I grew up.
That was the first ti I saw many people in our house, and I didn’t understand nor like the way they looked at .
Knowing that Daddy and Mom would not return as they had gone to a far place left feeling very unhappy and depressed for a while, but eventually, I let go.
Later, I slowly got used to it, used to only having Grandpa and at ho.
As I grew up, I understood many things, my parents had died, hence they couldn’t return. It seed like my grandpa was a remarkable person, and I was a sickly child, how long I could live was unknown. Maybe I could live to old age, or maybe I would die tomorrow, but I wasn’t sad.
Once, I fell seriously ill, with severe chest pain that made faint, and when I woke up there was a woman nurse beside . Grandpa said this nurse would take care of from then on.
Having one more or one less person by my side didn’t matter to as long as Grandpa was relieved.
At the age of 25, the nurse taking care of suddenly confessed her feelings, saying she had liked for a long ti. I thought about it overnight and agreed, thinking I should leave a descendant for the Ji Family. Telling her I didn’t know how long I could live and couldn’t lead a normal life, I asked if she still wanted to marry .
She smiled with tears in her eyes and agreed. I didn’t understand why she was laughing and crying at the sa ti, whether she was happy or sad, but we decided on the marriage. That evening, I broke the news to Grandpa, and soon after, I got married. After marriage, I continued to live in Hidden Dragon Mountain. Only later did I learn that her na was i Lan.
Although I couldn’t lead a normal life, I could treat her with mutual respect. I hadn’t been married long when Grandpa suddenly passed away. I wasn’t very sad because I had already made peace with it, knowing after Grandpa, I would be next. With the protector like Grandpa gone, we moved out from Hidden Dragon Mountain and settled in the Military District Mansion in Beijing.
After another year, my son was born. Having a son made very happy. I taught him all the knowledge I knew. He was very clever and learned quickly. For my son’s sake, I tried hard to keep living, surviving another dozen years until he reached the age of fifteen. My body reached its limits then, and at death’s door, I told my son that the only way to make sothing of himself was to join the military, handing him the connections Grandpa had left. Then I let go, leaving them, a widow and an orphan, to struggle through life. Although I feel very sorry, I had done my best.
When I was lucid, I realized I was being carried upside down, soone holding my feet, an uncomfortable position. I wanted to see who was carrying , but I couldn’t open my eyes, nor could I speak. I didn’t know why I was here, rembering clearly that I had died. So was soone stealing my body, plotting sothing? Then I heard so strange words.
"Why isn’t the baby crying?" A pleasant female voice, but unfamiliar.
"He might be mute," said a young man’s voice.
"So ugly," said a young woman’s voice.
"You all looked the sa when you were just born, it will get better after a few days."
"Nurse, why isn’t my son crying?" a middle-aged man’s voice, I thought about it, the voice seed familiar, but before I could recall, I was slapped on the buttocks, not very painful, I didn’t feel like crying, but opened my mouth and cried out, which felt strange, so I stopped after a few cries, then I felt very sleepy and really wanted to sleep. I wanted to use my strong will to keep myself awake, but the sleepiness overpowered , and not long after I fell asleep again.
In a drowsy state, I heard many people talking. When I felt hungry, I ate, after eating I slept, and so it went on for a while. Finally, I could open my eyes, discovering I was lying in an unfamiliar place, the view limited, not far in front of was a bed with a middle-aged woman, apparently asleep. Then a young man in a military uniform walked up to , silently watching , and I watched him back, and then he suddenly grinned, squeezing my face and said, "Co on, call brother."
Brother?
Suddenly, I realized sothing was very wrong, my mind couldn’t make sense of it, everything felt chaotic. I needed to sort out what was happening, so I closed my eyes ignoring him. Firstly, I was dead, that was a fact, the body wasn’t stolen, no one was endangering their mother and son, no conspiracies or tricks, and I wasn’t being experinted on, it was just my overthinking; Secondly, I had beco very small, so small that I couldn’t even turn over, let alone speak, anything I tried to say turned into crying, so I tried not to speak if possible. Piecing together the recent events, I concluded that I had just been born from that woman on the bed, who was my mother, and the word ’mother’ felt strange to say... before getting into that, the strange situation was like a story I had once read about—reincarnation.
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