Aria’s POV
We found the grave a few days later.
Eleanor, in exchange for her cooperation and a reduced charge that Barnes had negotiated with that suggested he felt the arrangent was fair, provided the cetery na and the plot number and the fact that she had been paying for the maintenance of it quietly for years, a fact she had not volunteered and Barnes had discovered in the financial records, and which I chose to think about carefully before deciding what it ant.
It was a small cetery on the eastern edge of the city, older than the parts of Ravenwood that Charles had moved in — oak trees and weathered stone, the kind of place that had been full for decades and simply maintained itself quietly. The plot was near the eastern wall, in a section shaded by a tree that must have been young when Catherine was buried there and was now enormous.
The headstone was simple.
Catherine Louise Whitmore
Beloved sister and mother
She chose love
I stood in front of it for a long ti without speaking. Damien was beside , he had read correctly this morning, when I’d told him I needed to co here, and had understood that what I needed him to do was simply be present.
Noah was with Mrs. Dora at the penthouse, had been told Mama and Daddy were visiting soone important, had accepted this and imdiately returned to his LEGO.
The cetery was quiet, midmorning, a weekday. Birds in the oak tree. The sll of cut grass from sowhere nearby.
She chose love.
I thought about Eleanor’s face as she’d said it: She said she was not going to let what had been done to her determine whether the child deserved to live.
I thought about what that must have cost — twenty-one years old, alone in the worst possible way, and still making that decision.
I crouched down and set the flowers I’d brought — white roses, against the base of the stone.
"Hello," I said quietly. "I’m sorry it took this long."
The oak tree moved in the wind above . A leaf ca down slowly, turning once, and landed on the grass beside the stone.
"I don’t know what I’m supposed to say," I continued. "I’ve been thinking about it for days and I still don’t know the protocol for — this. For eting soone you should have known your whole life. I have a son. He’s four, and he’s extraordinary, and I think you would have loved him completely because he has this — this quality of just deciding to trust people and being absolutely right almost every ti, and I think that might have co from you, though I’ll probably never know for certain."
My throat had gone tight. I let it.
"I’m pregnant again. A girl, we think, though it’s early." I pressed my hand against my stomach, the gentle swell of it, still small but present. "I don’t know what I’ll tell her about you. I’ll tell her sothing — I’ll tell her all of it, when she’s old enough. I’ll tell her that her grandmother was twenty-one years old and brave in a way that most people will never have to be, and that she chose life when she could have chosen otherwise, and that it cost her everything and she did it anyway." My voice steadied on it. "I’ll tell her that’s where we co from. That’s the beginning of us."
I stood slowly, one hand bracing on my knee, the other still on my stomach as Damien’s hand ca to my shoulder, warm and certain.
I reached up and covered it with mine.
"I’d like to co back," I told the headstone. "If that’s — I’d like to make it sothing I do. Bring Noah sotis. Let him leave drawings, because he will want to leave drawings, he leaves drawings everywhere." A sound caught in my throat that was partly laughter and partly sothing else entirely. "He’d like you, I know he would."
The wind moved through the oak tree again, and I stood in it and let the feeling be what it was — grief for sothing I’d never had, gratitude for sothing I hadn’t known I’d been given, the strange and particular grace of learning you were loved before you knew what love was.
I stayed another ten minutes, not speaking, Then I took Damien’s hand and we walked back through the quiet cetery toward the gate.
"Thank you," I said to Damien, when we reached the gate.
He looked at . "For what?"
"For coming." I glanced back once at the oak tree,"For not saying anything."
He squeezed my hand. "Always."
We got in the car, and I looked out the window as the cetery passed behind us, and I thought about Catherine Whitmore— twenty-one years old, stubborn and funny, off-key singing in a family ho that didn’t deserve her — and I thought: I will make sure you are not forgotten. I will make sure you are not just a footnote in Charles’s cris or Eleanor’s guilt.
You are my beginning. I’m going to make it an sothing.
*********
Olivia called on a Tuesday afternoon and said "I need your opinion on sothing" in the tone that ant she had already made a decision and needed soone to confirm it was reasonable.
"The beach venue," she said. "Lucas found one two hours out. Private stretch with a late afternoon slot, the light is supposed to be good."
"How many people?"
"Forty."
"Olivia."
"It’s intimate."
"You told thirty maximum."
"Thirty is very close to forty," she said. "Mathematically."
I moved a file on my desk and leaned back in my chair. "Send the details."
She sent them before I’d finished the sentence, which ant she’d had them ready, which ant this conversation had been planned. I looked through the venue information — the beach, the arch, the catering options, the accommodation block for guests traveling from out of town.
"This is beautiful," I said.
"I know." She paused. "The flowers but I said nothing elaborate."
"You did say that."
"But white, along the arch. Sothing simple."
"White roses?"
"Or sothing softer, I don’t know. You’re better at this than I am."
"You’re a woman who has been quietly planning this in your head for months," I said. "Tell what you actually want."
A longer pause. Then, quietly: "White peonies. Along the arch and the chair ends nothing else."
"Perfect," I said. "Done."
"You’re not going to tell it’s too much?"
"Olivia, it’s your wedding. Nothing is too much."
She was quiet for a mont. "I want Noah as ring bearer."
"He’ll be devastated if he isn’t."
"And I want you next to , not behind next to ."
I stopped. "I’ll be showing by then."
"I know," she said simply. "I want you next to anyway. You’ve been next to for everything. I’m not changing that for a wedding photo."
My throat went tight. "Okay," I said.
"Okay, Also I need you to talk Lucas out of a live band because he wants a live band and I love him but absolutely not."
"I’ll handle it," I said.
"I know you will." A pause. "Aria. Thank you, for all of it."
"You did the sa for ."
"I know," she said. "That’s what I an."
One month later
Noah had been asleep for an hour when I finally ca to bed. Damien was already there, back against the headboard, reading sothing on his phone that he set down when I ca in. He watched cross the room, he said nothing and just made space.
I climbed in beside him and lay back against the pillows and looked at the ceiling.
"Ready for tomorrow?" he said.
"Yes." I turned my head to look at him. "She’s been pretending not to care about this wedding for months and then spent weeks making sure every single detail was exactly right."
"Sounds familiar."
"Don’t," I said, but I was smiling.
He reached over and put his hand flat against my stomach, the gesture so habitual now it barely needed intention.
"She’s quiet tonight," he said.
"She’s been moving all day, I’m sure she is tired."
He kept his hand there. In the low light of the bedroom he looked like the version of himself I loved most.
"I keep thinking about where we were a year ago," I said. "Marcus, Vivan, Sophia, The lockdown, Charles,." I paused. "And now tomorrow Olivia is getting married on a beach and Noah has been practicing his walk and we’re having a girl."
"Things change," he said simply.
"Not by themselves," I said. "Soone has to make them."
He looked at for a mont. Then he reached over and tucked a strand of hair back from my face, the way he did when he had sothing to say and was choosing how to say it.
"You made most of it," he said. "I want you to know I know that."
I looked at him. "We made it."
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