gan's POV
For so many years, I had nothing in my mind but to make Ashton suffer and never let him know about my son. Still, my resolve lted the mont he kissed , and even if I hated myself that I felt this way, I could no longer stop myself from feeling so happy, that he is right here with , and he was looking at with the sa intensity eight years ago.
Right now, I don't have anything in my mind but to be with him, and I don't care if I have to beg him to choose over his fiancee, and the mont he told the reason why he did it to , my knees felt so weak as I realized we both suffered because of his father. And I couldn't stop myself from hating Gregory Pritzgold for ruining our beautiful relationship.
Ashton scooted closer to , and even if we had already shared a kiss after eight years of being away from each other, I still felt nervous being this close with him. He never let go of my hand, and he kept holding it, and I could feel that my entire skin had goosebumps because of the excitent that I felt.
"I owe Isabelle, if not because of her, I wouldn't be here right now, and I will never have a chance to be with you, and kissing you again feels like I won a jackpot on a lottery." He declared, and I giggled.
"Yes, g, it is true, and I hope you will give a chance to court you again, and this ti I promise I will never ss up, gan. Please give also a chance to know my son." He begged, and I raised my eyebrow, and I could see the worries on his handso face.
"You don't want to court you, gan?" He asked, and I nodded my head.
"Why?" He asked, and I could see the nervousness on his face.
"I think you should ask yourself, Ashton, why we can't be together. I don't want to be your mistress." I said, and I could no longer hide my genuine emotions, and I let go of my facade; I let him see the pain that registered on my face, and I was stunned when I heard Ashton's laughter reverberated the entire garden, and I am just glad we are the only ones who were left because all the other guest have already returned to their respective room accommodation.
"Is there anything funny with what I have said, Mr. Pritzgold?" I said, and he was shaking his head.
"My love, I know you are the smartest of our batch, and yet even you beca a successful chemist, I can tell you are still naive, gan." He responded, and I could tell my cheeks blushed right away the mont he called my love, and I pouted my lips as I tried to show him I was upset with his words, but he beca more amused with my reactions.
"And I felt so glad that behind your success, you are still the gan that I used to know, the way you blush is still the sa, and you still look so adorable every ti you pouted your lips, and those qualities are among the things I love so much about you." He said, and I still felt upset that he laughed at even if I felt so overjoyed with happiness as I heard his sweet words.
And I couldn't believe he would only laugh at because he knew I was still crazy about him, but there was no way I would allow him to use as his mistress. I'd rather stay single and keep the pain in my heart forever than I need to share him with another woman.
"Who told you I will make you my mistress, gan?" He asked, and I suddenly felt nervous when I gazed at his penetrating eyes.
"Well, even if I don't like watching the news on the television or reading the showbiz report, I have learned you are engaged to Claire," I said, and I couldn't believe that I sounded so jealous as I tried to look away from him, but Ashton cupped my face, and he turned my face so I would be facing him.
"I already canceled my engagent with Claire, and the reason why it didn't leak, because she asked not to tell anyone about it, she wanted to inform the dia herself, but I don't think Claire will do it, because she is still upset that I could never love her. She knew from the very beginning that I am only in love with you, g." He said, and I tried to hide the happiness that I felt because even if he knew I was still in love with him, I still wanted Ashton to make an effort to win Axel and .
"Are you sure about that?" I asked, and he smiled at as he nodded his head.
"I am 200% sure, gan." He replied.
"Okay, but it doesn't an I will take
you back easily, Ashton; you have to earn it by convincing that you are sincere, and you have to show that you can be a good father to
my son," I said.
"To our son, gan, of course, I know, g, and I am willing to do everything as long as you will give a chance to show you how much I love you, and I hope a ti will co when your wounds will heal completely," Ashton responded.
" too, and you are the only one capable of healing them, Ashton, and I don't know how to tell Axel about you yet." I declared.
"He likes , g, and you know that." He declared.
"Yes, but it would be harder on your part to close the wounds on my heart, Ashton, because of hating you so much; I lost our daughter," I replied, and his eyes widened.
"We have a daughter; you an Axel has a twin sister?" He asked, and I nodded my head, and I could no longer contain the tears from falling on my cheeks.
"Yes, maybe you can win our son's heart easily; I am sure it will take a long ti before you can close my wounds, Ashton. Because of our daughter since she died after I gave birth to her, her na is Abigail. I was in so much pain, and even until now, I can still feel the excruciating pain of losing her, Ashton." I said as I cried harder, and he took into his arms.
"Oh, gan, I am so sorry; I don't think I can ever forgive myself. I am sorry, g, please forgive , g." He said, and I could now feel his tears, and together we cried, and this ti I felt the pain lighter since I was crying with Ashton.
"Abigail has a weak heart, and it was because, during my pregnancy, I hid all the pain since I tried to look fine even if I felt dying inside. I couldn't stop myself from missing you, and there were monts I wanted to call you, but I rember the hurtful words you told , and it hurts terribly because I trusted you so much." I declared.
"I know I am one to be blad because I didn't use any contraceptive during that ti. But every ti I watch Axel, I stop blaming myself. And If I am given another chance to go back from the past, I realize I will retake the sa path, and I don't have regrets about loving you because I could tell during those tis I was so happy, and I don't want to replace those mories I had with you." I added, and he was kissing my head now.
" too, g, but it will never be your fault; I promise you heaven, but I gave you hell. And I am not proud of what I have done to you, g." Ashton declared, and this ti, he pulled up and let sit on his lap facing him, and I didn't care about my ego anymore.
"If ever I will be given a chance to go back eight years ago, I will never be a coward, and I should have been there for you. And maybe I could save our little girl, and there are so many things I missed in your life, gan. I wanted to be there to hear Axel's first laughter and see the first ti he opened his eyes, there were so many things I wanted to do with you, g, but because of my cowardice, I lost my chances." He added as he looked at my face.
And being this close with Ashton, I could tell I was losing my ability to think straight because what I felt was sothing stronger, and I needed to fight it because it was not yet the right ti. There was a lot of catching up to do, and I needed to tell him my conditions if he wanted back in his life.
"And because of the pain I experienced, I will never go easy on you," I said as I poked his hard chest.
"I know, gan, and right now, I feel that you are beginning to torture ; being this close to you is too much for to handle, g. I missed you so much, and to be honest, and I wanted to take you with right now and go into the nearest hotel we can find because I wanted to be alone with you, and to make love with you, gan. And right now that you are on my lap, and I can feel your body heat, you are already driving nuts, gan." He said.
And I wanted to tell him that I loved what he was thinking, and we should leave this place together, but I needed to use my mind. This ti I need to take things slow, and I will never rush in making decisions regarding Ashton no matter how all the nerves of my body are telling to go along with him. And if we are going to be this close with each other, I could tell sooner than later I will be throwing myself to Ashton and beg him to take .
"That is why I am telling you, you needed to double your effort; yes, I will not lie to you, I still feel the sa way towards you, Ashton, because I will not be sitting in your lap if I am not still crazy about you, but I am in too much pain, Ashton. And until now, I haven't spoken with my dad. I was too hurt that he wanted to give away our child because that ti I didn't know I was pregnant with a twin." I declared.
"You don't need to worry, gan, I will spend my ti making up with you and Axel, and I will wait until you beco ready." He said, and he smiled at .
"Okay, but if we wanted it to be that way, we should stop being this close with each other, and as part of your punishnt, you can't kiss or hug until we beco an official couple again; tonight is the only exception," I said, and I could see that his face fell.
"How about during special occasions, g?" He asked as he pouted his lips, and this ti it was my turn to laugh because Ashton looked so adorable right now, and I could tell for the first ti after eight years I laughed from my heart, and I could say I finally found the missing piece of my life after eight long years.
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