ASHER
I woke up on the floor. My body was stiff, my face was swollen from crying and the morning light filtering through my window felt like an accusation.
I’d spent the entire night on the cold floor, crying until I had nothing left. Until my throat was raw and my eyes burned and the bond in my chest ached with a pain that had nothing to do with distance.
Two months.
The words kept echoing in my head like a death sentence. Reed had two months to choose and I already knew which choice he’d make.
How could I compete with everything his father was offering? With the pack, the legacy, and the title of Alpha that Reed had been grood for his entire life.
I was just an Oga. The thing Alpha Thorne said was beneath them. The secret Reed had to hide because admitting what I was would cost him everything.
Of course Reed would choose the pack and I’d spend the next two months warming his bed. Being used, satisfying whatever needs the bond demanded while Reed counted down the days until he could finally be free of .
Then he’d break the bond, accept his title, and move on with his life.
He’d get everything. His future and two months of having whenever he wanted.
Double victory.
While I’d be left with nothing. A broken bond, a shattered heart and the humiliation of knowing I’d let myself fall in love with soone who saw as nothing more than a temporary inconvenience.
Fuck that.
I wasn’t going to wait around for Reed to destroy on his tiline. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of using and then discarding when it was convenient.
I was going to do it first.
I was going to reject the bond, reject Reed and end this before he could end .
It would hurt. God, it would hurt so much worse than anything I’d ever felt. Rejecting a mate bond could kill an Oga if their system was too weak and it could leave them broken in ways that never healed.
But at least it would be my choice. At least I’d take back so shred of control over my own destruction.
At least Reed wouldn’t get to have everything.
I pushed myself up from the floor, my whole body protesting. My legs were weak, my head was spinning and when I looked in the mirror, I barely recognized myself.
My eyes were swollen and red. My face was pale. I looked like I’d been through a war.
Maybe I had been.
A knock at my door made jump.
"Asher?" Julian’s voice ca through. "Are you in there? You missed morning classes and I’m worried."
I should have ignored him. I should have pretended I wasn’t ho but my legs were already moving and carrying to the door. My hand was already turning the lock.
The second I opened it, Julian’s eyes went wide.
"Jesus Christ, Asher—"
My legs gave out and Julian lunged forward, catching before I hit the floor. His hands went to my face, my forehead, and he swore viciously.
"You’re burning up," Julian said. His voice was panicked. "We need to get you to the infirmary. Is it your heat? Is it coming back already?"
"No." My voice was hoarse from crying. "It’s not the heat."
"Then what—" Julian stopped. His eyes narrowed. "Is it Reed? Did he do sothing?"
I tried to shake my head and I tried to deny it but Julian knew too well.
"You’re doing that thing," Julian said quietly. He helped to my bed, settling against the pillows. "That thing you do when you’re lying. Your left eye twitches and you can’t hold eye contact and your shoulders go rigid."
I hadn’t known I had a tell. Hearing it from him made realise sothing in .
"What did he do?" Julian’s voice was gentle but firm. "Asher, please. Don’t hide this from . Not when you look like you’re about to collapse."
And sothing in just... broke. All the walls I’d been trying to hold up crumbled and I told Julian everything.
About the Shadow Born gathering. About Reed’s father figuring out I was an Oga. About the ultimatum—two months to break the bond or lose everything and have exposed to the entire Academy.
"He’s going to choose the pack," I said, my voice was hollow and empty. "Of course he is. How could I possibly be worth more than that?"
Julian was quiet for a long mont. His hand was on my shoulder, steady and grounding.
"What are you going to do?" Julian asked finally.
"I’m going to reject him first." The words ca out steadier than I felt. "I’m going to reject the bond before he can break it. That way at least—at least it’s my choice. At least I take back so control."
Julian’s hand tightened on my shoulder. "Asher, that’s a terrible idea."
"It’s the only idea." I told him but Julian shook his head.
"No, listen to ." Julian moved so he was facing directly. "You’re weak right now. Your system is already compromised from the suppressants and everything Reed’s put you through. A bond rejection in your current state could—" He stopped and swallowed hard. "It could kill you, Asher or at the very least break you so completely you’d never recover."
"Better than waiting around for Reed to do it."
"Is it?" Julian’s eyes were intense and worried. "Is it really better? Because from where I’m sitting, you’d be doing Reed’s dirty work for him. You’d destroy yourself and he’d still get everything he wants. The pack, the title and the satisfaction of knowing you broke before he even had to try."
The words hit like a slap.
"I can’t just sit here for two months waiting for him to—"
"Then don’t," Julian interrupted. "Don’t wait around. Don’t let him use you. Set boundaries. Protect yourself. But don’t reject the bond, Asher. Not like this. Not when you’re this weak."
I wanted to argue, I wanted to insist that rejecting Reed was the right choice but Julian’s words settled heavy in my chest.
He was right. Rejecting the bond now would just destroy faster. I would give Reed everything without him even having to fight for it.
"What should I do then?" I whispered and Julian was quiet for a mont. Then he squeezed my shoulder.
"I don’t know," Julian admitted. "But whatever you do, don’t make it easy for him. Don’t break yourself to save him the trouble."
We sat in silence for a while. Julian’s presence was grounding and solid.
"I need to see him," I said finally. "One more ti. Before—before everything ends."
"Asher—"
"I know what I’m doing." I looked at Julian. "I just need one more ti. To feel like—like maybe I ant sothing. Even if it was a lie."
Julian looked like he wanted to argue. But sothing in my expression must have stopped him.
"Okay," Julian said quietly. "But be careful. Please."
He left thirty minutes later with a promise to check on tomorrow. The second the door closed, I grabbed my phone with trembling hands.
I stared at the screen for a long ti. My heart was pounding. My fingers were shaking.
Then I started typing.
I knew what Julian said was true but I had made my decision and I was going through to the end.
: I miss you. My body yearns for you. I want you to fuck and make forget everything your father said about us. Make have hope that you wouldn’t leave . So please, just for today, make love to . Not sex. Not the rough type. But the gentle type. I want to really feel you. I want your emotions to flow through as we make love.
I stared at the ssage. My thumb hovered over the send button. This was stupid, desperate and pathetic but I needed it.
I needed one last ti where Reed was gentle. Where he looked at like I mattered. Where I could pretend—just for a few hours—that he might actually choose .
One last ti before everything ended.
I pressed send before I could talk myself out of it.
Three dots appeared imdiately. My heart was in my throat and my whole body was trembling.
Then Reed’s ssage popped up.
Reed: Tonight. My room. 10pm.
Short, simple and no emotion but he’d said yes. I clutched the phone to my chest and felt tears burning in my eyes again.
One last ti.
One last night where I could pretend Reed loved back. One parting gift I’d cherish forever even though it would destroy .
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