September, 28th, 2089
Dantes POV
We end our tour of the remarkable Petrie Museum of Egyptian Archaeology with a look at its newest addition: the Was-sceptre of the Pharoah Khufu! King Khufu reigned during the 4th dynasty, during the ti of the mythical Egyptian magician Dedi. The completed Westcar Papyrus claims that King Khufus sceptre was blessed by Dedi to have miraculous abilities. And- I tuned out the rest of the tour guides speech as I examined the staff myself. It was 5 feet long, with a stylized animal head of the mythical Sha on one end and a fork on the other end. The Sha is the totem animal of Set, the ancient Egyptian god of desert, storms, disorder, and violence. He sounds like the kind of guy I would want to have a beach party with, but I digress.
I am here at this museum in London, along with Sparky and Jumbo, because this Was-sceptre was one of the few relics reactivated by the mana calamity that resulted in my birth. Normally Id send a minion to retrieve it when it was discovered, but I needed to do this personally. The Council of Nine failed to organize a coherent response to Pandemoniums rapid expansion across the world, but the Kingdom of England has still managed to beco a nuisance.
This task force of theirs has actually been making so headway in being a pain up my ass. Arresting criminal affiliates, interfering with recruitnt, putting a bounty on my head, the list goes on and on. The fuckers have also been conducting annoying cyber attacks targeting our financials. Shockingly enough, demons are not very good with computers so I havent been able to stop them. It hasnt crippled us by any stretch of the imagination, but its irritating.
Im here to send a ssage to King William that their efforts are futile. It is the first step in my plan to tornt the fool. I hear he dotes on his eldest daughter, fufufu she also happens to be the one leading the task force. Shell co running after this heist. Mwhahaha! Co to my web, little butterfly, co to my web. The girl is supposedly quite the beauty too NO! I must remain faithful to my darling!
Its only been a month since I t my future waifu yet I cant help but think of her wherever I go. Food has lost its taste, color is less vibrant, and the screams of the people I torture are muted compared to before I t Rin. *Sigh* That little minx has stolen my black heart and made heartless! I cannot be tempted by another! But this is another world, so doesnt that automatically an a harem situation? Rin will be my bottom bitch, so adding another plaything or too should be fine, right?
Uh, boss? Are you okay? Jumbo asked from his new guise possessing a 9 year old boy. His old body was destroyed a week ago by my sweetheart. His terrified deanor as he recounted his encounter with my darling made feel a warming sensation of happiness and pride. Clearly, shes the perfect woman for . My joy caused to lessen Jumbos punishnt for failing to find the Fountain of Youth. I only had him be a chew toy for Cerberus for 2 hours instead of 3. Which reminds , I should talk to Cerberus and address his fetish for behaving like a dog. Were demons true, and we are influenced by our true forms to varying extents, but Cerberus is pushing full-fledged furry fandom here.
Im fine! Its ti to make our move. Sparky, its all you! Dazzle . I waved to Sparky, who was possessing an ordinary looking middle-aged Englishman. Yes, yes, yes, yes! I, I, I, I got, got, got, got, this, this, this, this! Sparky responded with his trademark rapid fire staccato broken record-like speech. The storm demon released his possession, resulting in dark grey clouds suddenly filling the entire museum. Cries of confusion and shock echoed in the building as everyones senses were obstructed. There was a short *bzzzt*, followed by an amusing display of bodies dropping and shaking on the floor from being electrocuted.
Just as quickly as the clouds appeared they vanished, getting sucked back into Sparkys body. Jumbo and I were laughing at the corpses as they twitched. Such a shocking display, Sparky! Jumbo called out with a chuckle. That chuckle was interrupted as I punted my subordinate into the distance. WHYYYY??? Jumbo cried out pitifully as he crashed into so Pharaohs statue, causing it to crumble around him. HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY PUN!!! I roared! DO THAT AGAIN AND ILL HAVE YOU PLAYING FETCH WITH CERBERUS FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR!! I DONT CARE IF I AM ENABLING HIS FETISH!!!
I collected myself after my outburst and quickly ca up with a different pun to preserve my reputation as the wittiest demon in Pandemonium. That was an electrifying performance, Sparky. Thank, thank, thank, thank, you, you, you, you, sir, sir, sir, sir!!! Sparky gave a chipper salute in response to my praise. Jumbo dragged himself out of the rubble and ca over to my side, only to get punted again. I eclipsed my previous distance by a fair bit. Go destroy the caras. Sparky probably got them all, but I dont want any surprises. I ordered as I approached Khufus Was-sceptre of Set. Damn, thats a mouthful.
I picked up the staff (after breaking through the bulletproof glass display) and gave it a twirl, noting how the pressure it emanated caused cracks to appear throughout the room. I wasnt even trying to do anything. Ooooh, this one is definitely a keeper. Dedi was certainly a fearso magician if he was able to craft this. A lot of slaves were probably sacrificed in the process, but nevertheless it is impressive.
My research into these relics and their origins has shown that this world has a strange relationship with magic. Even before its widespread extinction, magic users were uncommon and their abilities were mostly unremarkable. However, every so often there would appear a practitioner with such power that it was ridiculous. Dedi, Abe no Seii, rlin, Baba Yaga, Morgan le Fay, Sun Wukong, dea, etc. the list of these individuals is embedded in the history and legends of humanity.
However, these people were few and far between and they beca even rarer as magic died out. It was a vicious cycle where fewer people with potential for magic appeared and those that did appear never realized their potential since magic was no longer used. The genes for magic got filtered out of the gene pool due to the joys of natural selection and evolution, leading us to the modern day where the only people with the potential for magic are either de novo mutants or directly descended from one of the legends of the past. And of these one in a million people, most die in ignorance of their abilities.
There are a few amongst the few who discover magic in one way or another, but their abilities are ager. These Remnants are all that remain from the era of magic, shadows of their predecessors forr glory who are at best on the level of petty conjurers. The chances of a Remnant having the power to match is infinitesimally small, yet my darling Rin shows it is possible. Even more unlikely is that a minion of mine ntioned encountering another Remnant at that very sa concert. This Abyssal Vortex Champion sounds like a potential threat, if the na is anything to go by. Good thing I sent Ibaraki-doji and Susan to track down and eliminate him. The two should be more than enough for the assignnt, since Ori was able to survive her encounter with the Champion.
Boss! I got incoming police! So passersby probably heard the screams and called it in! Jumbo reported as he returned from his assignnt. Normally at this point the team and I would skedaddle, but I happen to have a Khufus Was-sceptre of Set that Im just dying to try out. Although I wont be the one dying per say. Sparky, ditch the body. I want you in the electrical grid in case we need so widespread devastation. Jumbo, youre in charge of the cover-up. I ordered as I did so light calisthenics to loosen up. I dont want to pull a muscle after all.
Sparky nodded before once again canceling his possession, although this ti he consud his host before he beca an electrical blur that vanished into the wiring. Jumbo faded away as he cast illusion magic and hid himself. I strolled over to an impressive looking throne and plopped my fine behind on top of it. The sounds of the doors being broken down reached my ears, and I saw a full tactical team storm the room. A wicked grin adorned my face as I readied myself for a slaughter. Ti to have so fun.
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