Why does Vur always end up at an empires or a kingdoms capital every ti he goes on adventure? Grimmy asked. His wings were spread as wide as they possibly could, and he was gliding through the air with his legs dangling underneath him. Smoke drifted out of his nostrils as he sighed and swayed back and forth, causing the cursed elf on his head to smack his scales.
Youre making nauseous, Lindyss said. Stop swaying. And you know why he always ends up at places in power. Its because you taught him to be as prideful and stubborn as yourself.
Youre saying that like its a bad thing, Grimmy said and raised an eyebrow. He flapped his wings twice to ascend and flew through a cloud. Curses ca out of Lindyss mouth, and Grimmy chuckled while descending. Were almost there.
A palace ca into view. Its fence was made of steel, and its gardens lay mostly bare. A few flowers were sprinkled here and there, but the majority of it was overrun with weeds. The palace walls were in chunks, and it was hard to differentiate the pieces that belonged to the ceiling and the pieces that belonged to the walls. It was almost as if a crazy lady with a sword had tried to kill soone who could teleport throughout the whole building.
You think this is Vurs fault? Lindyss asked and sighed. I swear, everywhere that boy goes, he brings about destruction. Then its up to to fix it. Then, while Im busy, he runs off to cause trouble elsewhere.
You an busy drinking on a beach while your undead servants do all the work for you? Grimmy asked. Because thats where I found you before I dragged you here.
I was busy relaxing, Lindyss said and glared at the dragon underneath her. I have a very strict schedule of work and relaxation, and you just happened to find on my relaxation portion.
Grimmy snorted. Alright, whatever you say, he said. But I do wonder what kind of ss Vur got himself into this ti. Why would he need our help?
***
Ralph stared at the golden man underneath his foot. There were multiple holes in the knights body, and his head was partially severed, but the expression on his face was one of outrage instead of pain or fear. Do you admit defeat?
Ive said it once, and Ill say it once again, Sir Edward said and spat on Ralphs toes. Only a noble can defeat . I refuse to fight a peasant; my honor prevents from doing so.
Soldier, why dont you let fight him? Lord Briffault said and walked up to Ralph. Hes undying and stubborn; we might as well accommodate him. Forcing him to admit defeat like this might cause a disaster similar to attacking the genie.
Ralph shrugged. I just didnt like his mustache, he said and took his foot off of Sir Edwards chest.
Ah, envy, the worst of the cardinal sins, Sir Edward said and clicked his tongue. He nodded at Ralph. It can consu even the best of us, lad. One day, when you beco as great as , youll be able to grow out a mustache just like this one.
Ralph stabbed Sir Edwards shin with his spear, piercing through his leg and into the ground. He cleared his throat when Lord Briffault patted his back and helped pull out his spear. Sir Edward Baron, Lord Briffault said. I am John Briffault the Third and a Half. I challenge you to a duel.
At last! A noble title, Sir Edward said, his golden eyes glowing with a bright light. A small roar escaped from his lips as he rose up, his injuries nding at a pace visible to the naked eye. His gaping wounds stitched themselves back together, and the golden blood he spilled on the ground was sucked back inside of him. Let us duel! He drew his sword and pointed it Lord Briffault. Then he sheathed it and cleared his throat before turning around. Hold on a second. Sir Edward turned back around, a piece of paper in his hands. First, we take bets; after all, what is a duel without bets?
What are we betting? Lord Briffault asked and raised an eyebrow.
Soldiers! Sir Edward said and nodded. Well bet with your soldiers. If I win, I get to keep a hundred of your soldiers. If I lose, a hundred of your soldiers get to go through the gate.
Lord Briffault furrowed his brow. Now hold on just a second, he said. Didnt you say we had to defeat you to proceed? Doesnt that an all of us get to go through? And my soldier herehe patted Ralphs shoulderalready defeated you plenty of tis. You cant keep changing the terms to entry.
Sir Edward rubbed his chin before sighing. Youre right, he said. As a noble, I cant keep changing my words. How about alcohol? Do you have any alcohol? If I defeat you, you give a drink.
We dont have any food or drink, Lord Briffault said.
Sir Edwards eyes bulged, and he pointed his sword at Lord Briffault. Youre conducting a siege without food or drink? Are you daft? Next, youll be telling you didnt bring tents for shelter or extra clothes to endure the harsh nights.
Lord Briffault cleared his throat. Well, we werent expecting such a long, drawn-out campaign. We thought itd be over before the sun set.
How foolish, Sir Edward said and shook his head. The youth of today ah. Co, let treat you all to a nice al and drink.
While I appreciate the offer, Lord Briffault said, were already dead and have no need for either of those. Shelter from the cold isnt necessary either.
Thats no way to live! Sir Edward said. Just because youre dead, you can no longer enjoy the joys of life? What kind of nonsense is that? Let tell you, my friend. You and I, were alive. Right now, in this very mont, were alive. Were talking to one another, seeing one another, communicating with facial and bodily expressions. Tell , can the dead do that, good sir? He shook his head before Lord Briffault could answer. Ill tell youthey cant! How long has it been since youve had a warm al in your stomach? How long has it been since youve had ale bubbling down to your stomach?
Lord Briffault swallowed his saliva, and though it was faint, he swore he heard his companions doing the sa. He turned around and swept his gaze over his n. What do you think? Shall we take a short break? While Zyocuhs out there having the ti of his life, were in here forced to do his bidding. Taking a short break doesnt go against any of our orders. His n nodded in agreent, and he turned back around. Alright. But do you have enough to feed us all?
Of course, of course, Sir Edward said and nodded, clapping his hand on Lord Briffaults shoulder. Itll take so ti to prepare. Say, about as long as itd take a mutant dragon to defeat a chira queen. Thats no problem, right?
Lord Briffault raised an eyebrow. Is that a standard asure of ti around here?
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