Thats the last of them, Tafel said as she kicked aside a heap of armor. It landed into a gaping portal in the ground, vanishing into the darkness. The portal closed as she dusted off her hands, nodding at the empty hall. All that was left to do was open the door at the end. But there was just one thing that was bothering her. Vur. Are you sure youre okay?
Absolutely. Im the definition of okay, Vur said and gave a toothy smile while raising one hand to perform a thumbs-up. I am currently the okayest that I have ever been.
You seem a little stiff, Tafel said, her eyes narrowing. If you werent you, Idve thought youve been replaced by soone. But no doppelgangers strong enough to do that. Her eyes narrowed even further. Unless.
Werent we in a hurry? Alice asked, waving her hand in front of Tafels face. Vurs always derpy so of the tis. How is this any different?
Hes not this kind of derpy, Tafel said, placing her hands on her hips and glaring at Alice. Im seriously worried about him.
Youre supposed to defend Vur, Zilphy whispered into Vurs ear.
Im never derpy, Vur said. Because Im a dragon.
See? Hes normal, Alice said, gesturing towards Vur with her shield. Lets move on. Before Tafel could retort, Alice pulled open the door to the next room. A dozen bloody creatures flew out at once, chirping and shrieking. Tafel turned her attention away from Vur and whacked away a bloody bat with her staff before freezing another with ice magic, causing it to fall and shatter like a dropped vase.
How am I supposed to tank these!? Alice shouted as she bashed three bats in a row with her kite shield.
Mr. Skelly appeared by her side, swinging a sword that he had liberated from one of the living armors. It doesnt seem like their attacking capabilities are very high, he said as a bat bit him and nibbled on his armor, its teeth unable to puncture the tal. He sliced it in half with his sword and shook off the blood on his arm. As for Vur, for so reason, the bats completely ignored him as he stood as still as a rock against the nearby wall, blending in like a decoration.
It didnt take very long for the party to wipe out all the bats, leaving bloody puddles and bits of bat everywhere. Tafel cleaned off her face with a piece of ice that she lted while rubbing against her cheeks, using it like a bar of soap. She took a glance at Vur. Part of her suspicions went away when she realized he was completely clean, not a single drop of blood having landed on or in the region around him.
Hey, guys, Mr. Skelly said as he peered into the next room. I think youre going to be disappointed.
Whats wrong? Tafel asked as she pushed aside the door. She created a ball of flas that she sent towards the center of the room. It was a small one with red, bat droppings on the floor. The walls were lined with shelves, but they were completely empty. There wasnt even a carpet. Tafels brow furrowed as she stepped inside and took a closer look, still finding nothing. Is this an empty pantry?
If it is, this is the most poorly designed house Ive ever seen, Alice said, shaking her head as she scanned the room as well. This is basically a house, isnt it? There was a foyer, a bathroom, a daycare room, a living room, and now a pantry. But the layouts absolutely horrendous. You have to pass through a bathroom to get from the foyer to the rest of the house. And they have to walk all the way over here to bring food to the kitchen that we havent even found yet? Maybe its connected to the other door in the living room.
Tafel snorted as she left the room. This is a dungeon, not a house. Were adventurers, not ho invaders. A dungeon like this forms and grows naturally, which is also why the layout isnt anything like how a ho would actually be. And dont forget its underground.
First she justifies beating up children, then she justifies ho invasions, Mistle said, the blue ball of light around Vur flashing once. Im really surrounded by barbarians. I want to go ho.
Im not justifying ho invasions! Tafel said. She placed her hands on her hips and glared at the floating ball of light. Why dont you tell her what I an, Vur?
I was also under the impression that this was a ho invasion, Vur said. Are dungeons not the hos of monsters? Are monsters not people too?
You tell her, Diamant, Mistle said. Teach her her place.
Sheryl and Zilphy froze as Vurs face stiffened into a neutral expression. A second later, Mistle stopped bobbing up and down as well, pausing in midair, her light dimming. Tafel crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Vur. Alright, whats the deal here?
Dia-Deedee was the one who spoke just now, Vur said, gesturing towards the brown runes on his arm.
Tafel raised an eyebrow. In your voice?
Hes been practicing, Vur said. After a pause, he nodded and added, Hes very diligent, even for an earth elental. Isnt that right, Deedee?
Yes, thats right, a gruffer voice said but clearly ca out of Vurs lips.
Oh boy, Sheryl muttered. If she had hands, shed have slapped the forehead that she also didnt have at the mont.
Wheres Vur? Tafel asked. Did he really go off on his own? After I specifically told him not to because thats how horror stories start? Look at where we are! Were in a dungeon filled with walking armor and people made of blood! Of all the dungeons to do this in, why this one? Couldnt he have wandered off in a dungeon that housed puppies or kittens instead!?
Hey, Tafel, I think you need to calm down, Mr. Skelly said. A second later, his skull went flying.
Mr. Bones, Sheryl said with a sigh as she hovered over his headless body, you should never tell a woman to calm down when shes clearly not calm. Theres just nothing to be gained from it.
Mr. Skelly groped around for his head and screwed it back onto his head as Tafel stomped down the hall. The fake Vur and Alice exchanged glances with each other. Youre a horrible ventriloquist, Alice said.
Im a mountain elental, not a perforr. The fake Vur shook his head. This was a terrible idea from the start.
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