Ben's fall was short, but even his screams couldn't cover the heavy thump he made as he hit, or the sharp crack of bone. He scread again, then rembered the pill in his fist. He jamd it into his mouth and swallowed. After a few seconds he breathed a sigh of relief. He climbed to his feet and flipped a double-bird to everyone on the wall.
"Even in a bathrobe and boxers he managed to pull that off," Weeble said with appreciation.
Rock'Em gave a huff of agreent next to him.
"So long, fucktards! Go kidnap soone else next ti! Oh, and Weeble? You own a fucking new pergola and 10,000 credits for a new table!"
"I thought it was 8000?" Weeble called down.
"That's the fucking kidnapping fee you asshole!"
"Seems pretty cheap for a kidnapping!"
"Fuck you!"
Ben turned and began storming north, his footsteps slowing to a halt when he saw the lines of creatures just outside of their territory. He stopped, swept his gaze left and right to find any opening. Finding none, he turned and jogged back to the wall.
"Hey, quick question."
"Yes?" Weeble called down.
Ben thumbed over his shoulder. "Those things with you?"
"Nope."
"They friendly?"
"Not even a little bit."
"You guys know a way through them? Like maybe an underground tunnel or secret passage or sothing?"
"Nope."
"So, ah, what are they waiting on?"
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"We're not sure - haven't figured that part out yet."
"If they're not attacking yet, do you think they'll attack if I try to go through them?"
"I wouldn't bet on you."
"Fuck ."
"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up, buddy."
"So, this job - I'm just using my skill? I'm not going to be holding a sword or sothing and fighting those things?"
"If everything goes right."
"What are the odds you think everything will go right?"
"We're not sure - haven't figured that part out yet either."
Ben looked back over his shoulder again, then back to the wall.
"Y'all got coffee in there?"
"Sorry, all out."
"Well fuck ."
Ben took a deep breath, contemplating being ripped to shreds against the idea of having to do sothing he didn't want to.
"What are you doing down there, buddy?"
"Thinking! Weighing my options!"
"You co up with anything yet?"
With a lodramatic sigh Ben spread his arms wide. "I have decided that I need to beco a better person and learn to help the less fortunate. If your humble community would have the good graces to accept , I would be eternally pleased to offer my support in any way I can."
"Aww Ben, you didn't have to say all that! You brought a tear to Slinky's eye!"
"Fuck you Weeble."
"Love you too, buddy."
"Y'all got a ladder or sothing?"
"We have a door."
"Where is it?"
"Over that way."
"Across the rocks and dirt and stuff? I'm in bare feet!"
"Life is hard for everyone, man."
"Fuck , fuck this, fuck you. Okay, I'm coming in. Please keep an eye out behind and let know if I should start running or sothing."
"Will do, buddy. See you soon."
The ridiculous exchange had been heard across the entire north side of the wall and Tess was relieved to hear laughter after too many months without it. The Vanguard were all smiles, laughing and talking about the situation. Feeling how much tension had left the people made her see the truth of Weeble's advice. Can't believe I'm actually agreeing with that idiot.
"I think I like that guy!" Ed said.
Leon laughed. " too. Seems like a bit of an asshole, but maybe not so bad."
"Should I go get him?" Cass asked.
"Nah," Weeble replied. "Having to do a little waking will do him good. He's a lazy bastard."
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