"No way." I was startled and instinctively refuted.
But Wennie, who has known for so many years, saw my reaction and imdiately smiled even more suggestively.
"Co on, be honest... after divorcing Scumbag Gordon, are you starting a second spring?"
I pressed my lips together and said nothing.
But my cheeks quickly felt hot, not sure if it was the heat from the stove or my own bashfulness.
"Oh, co on, spill the beans, it’s just the two of us here, no one else. Is it that Mr. Carter? I’ve seen you two together twice, and I’ve always felt like the way he looks at you is so intense, there must be sothing going on between you two."
Wennie was too gossipy, leaning over and nudging continuously.
The reason I braved the heavy snow to run here was actually to chat with my best friend, to vent out the bittersweet, the nervousness that was about to overflow from my heart.
Sparked by her, I quickly surrendered, and even before opening my mouth, a mischievous smile crept on my lips: "Yes, it’s him... He expressed his feelings to , but I—"
"What, what?" Wennie was shocked, leaning closer to stare at , "You guys have progressed so fast! You just got divorced, and he already... Has he been—"
Wennie pondered and used a bold phrase: "Drooling over you?"
"..." I was at a loss for words and quickly corrected her, "I’m not officially divorced yet, I haven’t received the judgnt letter."
"Oh, I forgot about that part!" Wennie suddenly grew curious again, "Adrian Gordon wouldn’t change his mind, would he?"
"He probably won’t."
Wennie looked puzzled, "How on earth did you suddenly get a hold on him, making him obediently agree to the divorce?"
I thought about my promise and said, "It’s a long story, I’ll tell it another ti when there’s a chance."
I figured, Amanda Gordon’s incident of losing herself and then committing suicide would eventually co out, and by then I wouldn’t have to keep it a secret.
"Right, right, let’s not talk about Scumbag, keep talking about Mr. Carter, how did he express his feelings? When did he do it? Did you agree?" Wennie asked a barrage of questions.
"Well... After I won the divorce case, Daniel Carter started acting more flirtatiously with . Initially, I avoided him a bit, because you know my situation and background, we’re from completely different worlds. Plus, that day when we left the court, Adrian Gordon fainted and was taken away by ambulance, and I’m not sure what happened. After all, we were in love for more than six years, seeing him like that made feel a bit sad, and if I quickly turned to Daniel Carter... It just didn’t feel right—"
Wennie nodded, "Indeed, I understand you, it’s human nature."
"So these past few days I’ve been avoiding him a bit, haven’t contacted him at all... But with the school anniversary approaching, I finished the clothes for him, and contacted him yesterday. He asked to bring the clothes to Carter Manor, and since it’s the weekend today and I’m free, I delivered them..."
Wennie widened her eyes, "And then he took the opportunity to confess to you? Did he confess today? Then why are you having dinner with colleagues? Why aren’t you going on a date with him?"
Wennie was so anxious she threw out a bunch of questions before I could finish, ssing up my train of thought.
"He... I, I didn’t say yes, so what date are you talking about?"
"Didn’t say yes? Are you out of your mind?"
"I—" I was once again at a loss for words, gesturing helplessly with my hands while gathering my thoughts, "How could I say yes? My real dad is in prison, my mom passed away long ago, my original family is broken apart, plus I’ve been divorced—yet the Carter Family is such a prestigious existence, with their ancestors being founding heroes, Daniel Carter’s grandfather is a retired general, and his father holds a high position..."
By the end, I didn’t even have the courage to continue speaking.
The more I talked, the more I felt a sense of inferiority.
Wennie sighed, "Seems like having such a good family background isn’t always a boon, it scares away the ones you like—hah, it even rhys."
"..." I sighed as well, "Daniel Carter said the sa thing today..."
"So you refused, how did he react? He must have felt really embarrassed, right?"
I shook my head and recounted the process in more detail, "I had lunch at Carter Manor, oh right—Chef Barton from your place cooked there."
Wennie clicked her tongue in surprise, "He treated you so well, and yet you turned him down."
I didn’t respond to that, just continued, "During the al, Mrs. Carter hinted at the sa thing, and I just said that I’m not considering getting into another relationship for now, let alone marriage, I just want to focus on my career."
Wennie understood, "Yeah, having just gone through a divorce, it’s indeed not good to jump into a romance right away, or else people would think you already had soone lined up."
Truly a great best friend, Wennie understood .
"Exactly! I told Daniel Carter the sa thing, I didn’t want people to think he ca between soone’s relationship, let alone my reputation not being great, the public first said I was righteous for going against my own, then they talk about my divorce, and if rumors start about having an affair and drag him into it... With a family like his, any stain would damage the whole family’s honor."
"But did you consider that with a family like his, perhaps the public wouldn’t dare gossip?" Wennie blinked her eyes.
I shook my head repeatedly, "No, I don’t want to cause him even a bit of trouble, so it’s not possible."
"What a sha, Daniel Carter is the finest, most perfect man I’ve ever seen."
"Indeed." I agreed wholeheartedly.
Wennie admired, "It’s rare for you to be so clear-headed, with such an amazing opportunity like a pie falling from the sky, most won would be thrilled, not knowing how to show off."
I smiled helplessly, "You’re giving too much credit, I think my heart’s fallen into the love mode already."
"What do you an? Have you fallen for Daniel Carter?"
Wennie stared at , making feel embarrassed, my cheeks warming up again, I didn’t deny it.
Wennie shook playfully, "So what will you do? Reject but also fall in love, such a heartache, such turmoil."
"Yeah... I’m really tangled up and conflicted now, at a loss of what to do." I placed my hands on my cheeks, staring at the boiling water in the fireplace, sighing, "Wennie, am I useless... At my age still having a love-struck mind, and after being hurt badly once by a man, I still haven’t learned, just out of the fire into the frying pan."
Wennie understood the conflict and pain in my heart, patting my back to comfort : "You shouldn’t think like that, I actually think that being able to keep the ability to love, not afraid of hurt, not afraid of failure, shows that you are strong, and abundantly rich inside. Being able to experience those heart-pounding, yearning emotions gives life its flavor."
Listening to my friend’s words, I was deeply moved, turning to smile at her, "Wennie, having you is truly wonderful, you’re so good at comforting people."
"It’s the truth, not just comforting you. A man like Daniel Carter would make even a nun feel tempted, how could you resist?"
I laughed, "What a lousy analogy."
We both laughed, and I suddenly felt enlightened.
Indeed.
If you love, then love fiercely and without regret.
Not all love is reciprocated, I think silently admiring and adoring him is a fulfilling thing in itself.
No need to suppress it, no need to resist, and no need to deny it.
"If possible, having a relationship with him would be nice, just to add so experience to life, or else when we’re old and gray, lying on our deathbeds and looking back at a mundane life, what aning would that have?" Wennie grabbed two bottles of cocktails, opened the caps, and suddenly beca reflective.
I took a bottle, drank quite a bit, nodding, "Right, so let’s go with the flow and stop overthinking!"
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