Payton
IT DAWNED ON relatively quickly that Dani was guiding my steps as we left the room. She led through the foyer and out a side door, which opened onto an empty paved area with picnic tables and not much else. As soon as the cold hit , I bent at the waist and vomited until there was nothing left in my stomach.
"Co sit down, honey," Dani said once I was calr, and walked to one of the picnic tables.
I lowered myself onto the bench and dropped my face into my hands, unable to stop the sobs that wracked my body.
"Payton, I’m so sorry," Dani whispered.
"I need to go," I said with a hiccup. "I have to get out of here."
"I know, honey." She nodded. "Kayla’s getting the car."
"All my things are in Alex’s saddle bags."
"We’ll get them and either bring them to you or give them to Macey."
"Okay. Yeah, that’ll work. Thanks."
Dani checked her phone. "Kayla’s waiting out back."
"Do I... do I have to go back in there?"
"No."
"Okay, thanks."
I stood on shaky legs and followed Dani through a tal gate and into the parking lot at the back of the building. Kayla was waiting in the car, but stepped out when she saw . "I have Lily buckled in and she’s pretty much out for the count, so I’ll drive you ho."
I nodded and climbed into the passenger seat. Kayla and Dani talked for a minute and then Kayla slid back into the car and buckled up. We didn’t speak as we headed out of the parking lot and away from the club.
I took several deep breaths as I stared out the window, trying not to completely break down... again.
"He’ll calm down," Kayla said.
"It doesn’t matter," I said, turning to look at her. "You heard him. He wants nothing to do with ."
"He loves you, Payton."
"You don’t treat soone you love like that, Kayla."
"He’s got so issues."
"Ya think?" I snapped, albeit quietly. "I saw the handcuffs, Kayla, and I don’t think I could deal with that kind of sex, even if he claid to love ."
"It’s not a claim, Payton. He does love you."
"He choked her, Kayla." I blinked back tears again. "Wrapped his hand around her throat."
"What? No he didn’t."
"Kayla, I saw it."
She pulled to a stop at a light and stared at . "You can’t have, because it didn’t happen. He reached for her, but she backed away and Booker stepped between them."
"She was holding her throat and gasping for breath."
"Yeah, because she’s a fuckin’ drama queen, but Hawk did not choke her."
"It looked like he would have if Booker hadn’t stepped in."
She shook her head and pulled forward when the light turned green. "You don’t understand everything."
"I don’t think I want to understand everything," I returned.
"Shit," Kayla whispered, and glanced in the rearview mirror before focusing back on the road. "I’m going to tell you sothing that I’ve never told anyone else... and I’m pretty sure Hawk hasn’t either."
"Don’t betray his confidence, Kayla. Not to . I can’t imagine he’d like an ex to know sothing no one else knows."
"You’re not an ex."
"Looks like you missed the mo, hon," I grumbled. "When a man tells you to fuck off, you’re an ex."
"Put aside the fact that my brother’s a moron for a minute."
I rolled my eyes, but didn’t comnt.
"Have you noticed that he doesn’t drink anything he hasn’t either opened or poured himself? If he sets it down, he doesn’t go back to it?"
I shrugged. "I have noticed that, yes, but it never seed weird to . People often set drinks down at a party and forget about them."
"He doesn’t forget," she said. "He does it because the bitch drugged him."
"I’m sorry?"
"Jenny. She drugged his beer."
"When?"
"About four years ago."
I gasped and glanced behind . Lily was still asleep.
Kayla scowled. "She tied him to the fuckin’ bed, drugged him and fucked him ungloved. Multiple tis."
I felt sick again. "Are you saying she raped Alex in order to get pregnant?" I whispered.
"If you ever use the word rape, my brother will absolutely blow his fuckin’ load. ’n don’t get raped.’ Got it, Payton? If he finds out I’m telling you this, he’ll kill ."
I nodded.
"And I say that figuratively. Hawk has never laid a hand on in anger, or any woman for that matter... even Jenny."
I nodded again. I wasn’t in the mood to argue with her, even if I wasn’t entirely sure I believed her.
"I’m not sayin’ I know anything about my brother’s sex life, but I do know he’d never do anything anyone didn’t want him to do," Kayla continued.
"I thought that too, until about twenty minutes ago."
"Please don’t judge him too harshly."
"Kayla, I don’t judge him at all. I love your brother. I’m hurt and a little frightened, but that doesn’t an I love him any less. Whether or not we’ll be able to move past this? I just don’t know if we can."
"I get it. Just believe when I say he loves you enough to scare the shit out of him, okay? He knows you hate drama and Jenny’s all drama." She glanced in the rearview again. "He thinks she’ll drive you away from him."
"So, he’s doing it before she can? I get it on a psychological level, but I thought he knew better than that. I also thought he loved more than that."
"He does, Payton. We’ve just kind of had a fucked-up existence and he’s trying to navigate the beauty of you in a sea of fucked-up-ness."
I nodded.
"As much as my brother and I are in sync and have each other’s backs, we’re really different," she continued. "When my dad went to prison, I was still a minor, so the court ordered counseling to help deal with so of the shit my parents put through. And it was the best thing that happened to , honestly. But Hawk was an adult and there was no way in hell he was gonna go talk to anyone about what he went through, so I got so skills under my belt to deal. Him... not so much. When and my ex were coming to an end, I decided to go back to counseling and it’s what’s kept sane."
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