A FedEx van drove out of New York City and into New Jersey, eventually arriving in Chatham Town, a small community just over twenty miles from the city, known as one of the best places to live in the New York tropolitan area, where many successful people bought hos.
As the van turned into the center of the small town, it imdiately drew the attention of the many people standing by the roadside.
While FedEx vans were a common sight, it was rare to see one followed by a dozen dia vans, so even equipped for live television broadcasts.
A live broadcast van from the NBC entertainnt channel had been following them directly from New York.
Universal Pictures, for its part, was well-prepared and had contacted NBC in advance.
This was precisely why the six major Hollywood studios were known as the "Big Six." They didn't just possess extensive distribution channels; they were integral parts of massive dia conglorates, boasting a complete and robust industry chain that spanned from production and promotion all the way to rchandise and beyond.
The long motorcade, watched by countless onlookers, crossed the main street and approached the western edge of town before stopping in front of a small villa.
All the dia vans that had been following the vehicle parked nearby, and journalists ard with caras or camcorders scrambled to find the perfect spot to aim their lenses at the front door.
Other reporters with microphones also stood by, seemingly ready to begin their report at a mont's notice.
However, these people chose their spots carefully, all of them positioned near the brick walls on either side of the iron gate, making them virtually invisible from inside.
The television van also got to work, transmitting the signal from the scene back to the station.
Everything was in place. All that was left was for the main characters to appear.
In a performance this carefully staged, the star of the show was certain to be ho.
After the doorbell rang, a middle-aged man erged from behind the iron gate and strode over, calling out loudly, "How can I help you?"
The courier imdiately replied politely, "Hello, I'm from FedEx. Excuse , are you Mr. Rex Reed?"
"I am." Rex approached the iron gate with an air of self-importance. "Has sothing been sent to ?"
Through the gap in the iron gate, the courier handed him a delivery receipt. "A delivery from Los Angeles."
Rex read the receipt, then opened the gate and stepped out. He was t with the surprising sight of the press on both sides of him, and the flashing of cara bulbs instantly erupted. He froze for a mont, but then his composure returned. Wasn't this exactly what he wanted?
For $300,000 and a massive dia presence, his fa was about to get even bigger!
For a critic known for his acerbic wit, what was said or what followed was irrelevant; the most important thing for a critic was fa.
He knew full well what cargo FedEx was delivering, and he knew a horde of reporters was following, but he still ca out without a care in the world.
The driver enthusiastically opened the back door of the FedEx van, and a loud braying instantly erupted from inside.
The reporters' caras imdiately swiveled in that direction as the driver pulled a gray donkey from the vehicle and led it over to Rex with a smile, barely suppressing a laugh.
In the presence of a dozen reporters and a sea of caras, Rex calmly signed for the special gift and took the donkey's reins from the driver. It must have been a carefully selected animal, as it lacked the typical stubbornness of a donkey and seed quite docile.
"Look this way, Mr. Reed!" a journalist shouted.
Rex was more than willing to cooperate. He stood on the side of the road with the donkey in tow, using the FedEx van as a backdrop and allowing the reporters to snap away. When one reporter wanted to photograph the delivery slip in his hand, he readily agreed.
He was well aware that with NBCUniversal as the promotional platform, his picture would soon be plastered all over Arica.
"Mr. Reed!" A reporter with an NBC tag approached, followed by a cara operator. "May I ask you a few questions?"
"Of course!" Rex believed he was a man of his word; since he was being paid, he ought to do his job. "Feel free to ask."
"Who mailed you this donkey?" the reporter asked.
Rex held up the FedEx receipt and showed it to the cara. "The sender's na on it is Matthew Horner."
The reporter continued, "Matthew Horner mailed you a donkey. Do you believe this is a response to your comnts about him and The Scorpion King a while ago?"
"I think so," Rex replied, turning to pat the donkey on the head.
The reporter's eyes glead as he looked at the donkey and asked, "Will you really kiss a donkey's ass if The Scorpion King grosses more than ten million dollars at the North Arican box office?"
"You bet!" Rex declared with solemn gravity to the crowd of reporters. "I am a man of my word. If the movie The Scorpion King grosses over ten million dollars on its opening weekend in North Arica, I will do it in public!"
He once again stroked the donkey's head gently. "But if The Scorpion King fails to gross over ten million dollars on its opening weekend in North Arica, I will return this donkey to Matthew Horner and make him kiss its ass in public!"
The reporters pulled out their notepads to record Rex's words in their own way.
This last part wasn't in the script. It was pure Rex, riding high on the attention from so many caras, naturally wanting to create a bigger spectacle and stay in the dia spotlight for as long as possible.
What critics craved most was fa, and fa translated into imnse comrcial value. Who could imagine a leading critic being an obscure figure?
Rex added, "Relay what I just said to that brat! Word for word!"
He led the donkey toward his courtyard, saying as he went, "And don't forget to let
know the result."
The reporters were buzzing with excitent. The donkey incident had been brewing for so ti, and now that Rex had made such a statent, they didn't have to worry about a lack of interesting news to write about.
After entering the courtyard, Rex closed the iron gate, confident that Matthew Horner would have to respond. Even if he wasn't in his right mind, The Scorpion King's team would force him to respond to his words.
Perhaps, after this was all over, he could ask the newspaper for a whole new price for his film review column?
A satisfied Rex walked into his backyard, where a waiting professional imdiately took charge of the donkey, which would be well cared for—at least until this weekend.
...
In Los Angeles, at the Universal Studios office, Sean Daniel was busy with various tasks related to The Scorpion King. Now that the premiere was over, the film was set for a wide North Arican release starting with the Thursday evening preview screenings, and his desk was piled high with all sorts of docunts.
He had just finished working on a file for additional prints when his office door was pushed open from the outside and his assistant walked in.
"Boss," the assistant said, placing a folder on his desk, "the statistics from Universal Pictures' premiere audience survey ca in last night."
Sean was reading another docunt and didn't look up. "What's the verdict?"
The assistant replied, "Universal's market research departnt distributed one hundred questionnaires to the general audience last night and received eighty-five back. The average rating was an A-."
"A-," Sean's brow furrowed slightly. That was the third tier of audience ratings, behind A
and A. He waved his hand. "Go on."
"According to the questionnaire, the audience's dissatisfaction with the film was focused on the plot, with the vast majority finding it unrelated to The Mummy series."
The assistant glanced at Sean and, seeing no intention to speak, continued, "The parts the audience was most satisfied with were the male and female leads and the action design, especially the male lead."
Sean nodded slightly. He had been in charge of the post-production editing for The Scorpion King and naturally knew that the film had maximized Matthew Horner's strengths—his handso face, toned muscles, and cool action design.
The assistant added, "In the questionnaire about the audience's favorite part, out of eighty-five viewers, fifty-two chose the male lead, Mathayus."
That ant over sixty percent of the audience considered Matthew the biggest highlight of the film. Sean Daniel easily ca to this conclusion.
He picked up the docunt and skimd through it, then told his assistant, "Send these questionnaires to Universal's production and promotion departnts and pass on my directive: post-release promotional resources should be appropriately shifted toward Matthew Horner and Mathayus."
...
On Wednesday afternoon, Matthew received the premiere audience survey data from Universal through Helen. He felt a wave of relief, realizing that even if the film didn't et box office expectations, the blow to him wouldn't be fatal.
By evening, he appeared before the press for an interview, just as Universal Pictures had announced.
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