Chapter 218: Heat Of Confession
The silence that was t right after he said those words were deafening. Neither of the couple could react or say anything else after that. Madeline’s eyes that had watered against the surface of her dark orbs, narrowed slowly, and her slim brows furrowed together.
"Does my feelings not matter to you?" She asked in a whisper, wanting to pretend she never heard all of those things he said. "I am concerned about you, I worry for you but why does it sound like it has no aning to you? Aren’t you bothered about that? Aren’t you bothered about how I’d feel if I had to lose you like this? You speak like no one is going to rember you existed once you’re gone, but what about ?"
Madeline pointed at herself, "I just discovered sothing that I never expected to hear from Napoleon, yes I was excited about the barrier and there was this little hope in
that kept singing for everything to go back to normal once it’s created, but if the price cos with your life then I’m not willing to thread on that part."
"Maddie."
"I can’t keep pretending like everything’s okay, Cassian, I can no longer keep up with the act." She shook her head, "I can’t keep pretending like I’m not in love with you when I know that I’ve fallen for you for a long ti already and...."
Cassian felt his heart skip a beat at her blurted words, "what?" He whispered, eting her frozen expression as though she herself had been stricken by the confession that escaped her, but since she already said it, what was the use of hiding it.
"I’m saying.... I’m saying that I’ve loved you even before I figured out you were a vampire and after that." She confessed, her tone firm and genuine. "For the past few months, I was confused about what I felt because I never wanted to accept it. You were nice to , you showed
enough care that even the world itself took from , you filled that empty heart with your presence and every being of you Cassian. I can’t go to sleep if you’re not by my side and every ti I thought about it, I was afraid I would get too attached cause it’ll be difficult to leave your side. I thought I could ignore it, suppress it, but it’s choking
up here and I can’t deal with it."
Madeline touched her throat, signifying the limit where it had choked her to, at this point, the tears in her eyes dropped when the feeling was starting to beco too overwhelming.
"Maddie?"
"I didn’t want to burden you with my feelings cause I didn’t want to build my hopes too high only to have it tumbling down all over again. I never married you for love, but sowhere along the way, I fell in love with you without realizing it, but by when I finally did, it was too late to get rid of them."
Their marriage, Madeline wanted to be in it forever, but she wouldn’t want a marriage where the love was only one-sided. She was tired of pretending not to love him when she knew deep down that she did to the very core of her being, and she wouldn’t want to be an obstacle that would hold him back in finding true love.
"If you don’t value my worries for you then what difference does it make? How will I live with myself knowing that I killed the only man that I loved? How can I accept sothing so ...."
"Maddie..."
She raised her hand forward, silencing Cassian who imdiately regretted his words. He wasn’t disrespecting her feelings in the slightest of ways and it wasn’t his intention, but how can he explain himself when she won’t listen?
"You should leave." She said firmly, "I’ll be able to live with myself knowing that you’re sowhere safe rather than having to let you sacrifice your life for my sake. You should be happy, you don’t deserve that."
Cassian exhaled softly, and there was silence again. He looked at the woman who had chard his heart from the very first day he saw her, and yet still chooses to be in denial of his feelings for her.
"I’ll be in the library if you need --"
When she walked past him, Cassian grabbed her arm and pulled her to him, so much that her back connected with his front. His arm had her bound to him as she tried to break their proximity, and he closed his eyes briefly and whispered apologetically.
"I’m sorry, I’m sorry for not considering your feelings. It’s my fault and I accept it." His sincere apology made Madeline pause, and her heart raced frantically, a mixed tingle of pain and happiness was what she felt when his warm breath grazed her earlobe.
"But you should know
better than that, why would I consider giving up my life for you if I never loved you? I wouldn’t bother about any of this if I’ve never truly loved you Maddie, why can’t you see mine as well?"
Releasing her, he made her turn around to look at him, and with one hand holding her wrist so she wouldn’t run away, his other free hand unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt, leaving Madeline confused for a second, not until he slipped her hand in, forcing her palm to touch the left side of his chest.
"This is what you do to , can you feel it?"
Madeline grew speechless when the pounding of his heart thundered against the heat of her palm, and the racing of his heart, it strangely matched with hers. A familiar warmth spread through her body when she looked into his Amber-brown eyes that glead with visible emotions, his undenying love, the longing in his eyes, the pure desire that danced between his irises.
She felt breathless.
"I loved you even before I married you, just that.... I fell harder." A twisted smile played on his lips, but it only led to Madeline releasing more tears as she took her hands away from his chest.
"And you’re only telling
this now?" She complained, and a soft laugh escaped Cassian as he pulled her into a hug.
"I’m sorry." He gently pulled back to wipe away the tears from her eyes, "I won’t die, I’ll be right here. Do I look like soone who would die so easily? Hmm?"
He stared into her eyes, waiting for an answer, and Madeline shook her head slowly, a smile already starting to display on her lips, and she pushed Cassian away when he was making her cheeks grow hotter.
"I won’t forgive you if you choose to leave ." She warned, pointing a finger at him, and he grabbed it to her startlent.
"How can I? Dreaming of the future is seemingly impossible if you’re not in it." He made an attempt to bite the finger if she hadn’t snatched it out of his grip.
"I already told Napoleon I won’t do it till it’s fully confird."
"Whatever you say." He held her hand, "co, I wanted to show you sothing I think you’ll like."
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