Chapter 606 Ah, l finally understand [2]
"Pathetic, isn't it?"
As I mumbled those words, I turned to face the people in the seats across from .
My throat tightened as I felt the gazes of the people in the room.
Their gazes...
They felt rather suffocating. Especially when I t the gazes of Ryan and the others that were close to Smallsnake. I felt a deep sense of guilt when I saw the pained expression on their faces.
A part of felt responsible for this ss.
It wasn't just that. As I spoke, mories of Smallsnake started to resurface inside my mind. Each and every one of them caused to experience intense anguish.
Ti stood at a standstill, and a great sense of wariness washed over . Enough to give the impression that my body had completely lost all of its vigor.
'...I look pretty pathetic, don't I?'
I lowered my head and stopped speaking.
I probably looked a far cry from how I usually acted, but I couldn't help it. Never did I expect a loss to impact so much.
Unlike the other , I still had emotions, and they weren't sothing I could just turn off with the flip of a switch.
I wish I could...
...I really wish I could.
I slowly raised my head and opened my mouth to speak. My eyes quietly swept the room in the process.
My gaze halted in a certain area just as I was about to speak.
My body began to tremble. A flood of emotions burst out from deep within my body while my eyes focused on a particular person in the distance.
He...
He looked just like .
Black hair, blue eyes, and an indifferent look...it would be more appropriate to say that he was .
He was standing near the rear of the room with shackles around his hands and feet. Everything around started to vanish at that very mont, leaving only him to fill my field of vision.
Everything around felt dark.
It seed as though the world had ended and the two of us were the only people remaining in this world. Breathing and standing got a little more difficult, which intensified the feeling of unease that I felt.
'All of this...'
Blinking once, the world around cleared up and I found myself inside the chapel again. He was still standing there.
His image continued to haunt in my mind.
'...All of this is his fault.'
I quietly mumbled to myself.
Everything that was happening to , and Smallsnake's death. It was all his fault.
I was sure of it.
Smallsnake's death was sothing he had planned.
At first, it didn't make sense to , but by this point, I was positive. Smallsnake's death was planned by him. He had planned his demise with the sole purpose of inciting animosity between Jezebeth and I.
His actions didn't make sense to , but I just knew...
I knew that everything was his fault. He was cursed, yes...but so was I.
He was my curse.
That's why.
Opening my mouth, I quietly mumbled.
'...Please die.'
***
The funeral lasted for over three hours.
At that ti, several individuals walked up to the podium and shared their mories of Smallsnake.
A large majority of the attendees didn't quite know Smallsnake. They were mostly there to support those that were affected by his death.
In fact, the number of people that were actually close to him didn't number more than ten. It was sad.
...but what was sadder was the faces of those that were mourning his loss.
Watching everything unfold, Kevin understood sothing.
He understood just how much this individual known as 'Smallsnake' ant to the people around him.
Especially Ren who seed to be in a terrible state.
But...
'Please die.'
Catching a glimpse of his words, Kevin found himself unable to continue paying attention to the funeral.
Recalling his expression as he said those words, and the direction he was looking at, Kevin felt numb.
'Was he talking about ?'
Why?
Why did Ren want him to die so badly?
Actually, Kevin understood why. He just didn't want to accept it.
The loops, the mories, they felt weird to Kevin. In a way, he looked like the bad guy. He was the guy that turned Ren the way that he was.
...But Kevin felt that sothing was missing.
In a way, his actions made sense to him.
If he was presented with a choice to restart the world when half of it was destroyed as a result of Ren's actions, he would make the sa decision again.
In a sense, what Ren was going through was what he deserved to go through.
His actions...
They were no worse than the Demon King.
Kevin understood that...yet he couldn't bring himself to hate him. In a way, he felt sympathy for him.
Especially after understanding just how much pain he went through, and the reason for his actions.
Kevin had no doubt that he would behave the sa way if put in the sa situation as him.
Nonetheless, that wasn't the thing that bothered Kevin.
'...There's sothing missing.'
Sothing else was bothering him.
He wasn't exactly sure about what it was. For now, it was just a feeling, but at the sa ti, Kevin knew that there was more to this 'feeling' of his.
"Hey, it's ti to go back."
Kevin looked toward Emma after sensing a pull at his arm. After briefly focusing his attention on her, he turned around and swept his gaze around the room. Soon his eyes paused on Ren who seed to be with his parents.
After focusing on his figure for a few seconds, Kevin's eyes drooped. Then, turning around, he left the chapel.
"Let's go."
"You not going to talk to Ren?"
"...Not now."
Kevin quietly mumbled.
Pursing his lips, he repeated in a softer voice.
"Not now."
***
I followed the others back toward the headquarters right after the funeral.
There were a lot of things that needed to be sorted out in the absence of Smallsnake.
Clank—!
Opening the door of the warehouse, the first thing that greeted was darkness. It was a rare sight.
Usually, I would be greeted by lights and Smallsnake's presence.
'You're finally here, Ren.'
'Shut up.'
'Fuck you.'
"Haha."
A short laugh escaped from my lips when I recalled our typical interactions.
Who would have imagined that such simple recollections would make feel so bad?
"I'll go train."
" too."
We had just walked in when I heard nurous voices behind .
I then saw Hein and Ava walk straight into the training rooms. Their expressions were more restrained than before. Their appearance conveyed a strong impression of determination and resolve.
Smallsnake's death seed to have finally woken them up to the harsh reality of this world.
...But it wasn't just them that were affected.
"Here."
A hand extended toward , and I felt sothing land on my hands. I lowered my head and found a crumbled up pack of cigarettes.
It was Leopold. I couldn't tell much from his expression, but his actions were enough to convey to what he was feeling.
"...He always told to stop smoking. I guess it's about ti I took his advice."
He left right after that.
Following him from behind was Angelica who didn't say a single word. She was followed by Han Yufei and Liam, who simply left the room without saying a word, leaving Ryan and I standing in the hallway.
"You know..."
It was then that Ryan opened his mouth.
Turning my head, our eyes t.
"...You know, Smallsnake never hated you despite the way you treated him."
A great pang gripped my heart when I heard his words.
Thinking back to how I treated Smallsnake in the past, I felt great regret.
'If only I was nicer to him...'
His death made realize just how much of an asshole I was.
...and it was exactly this realization that ate away at my consciousness as I felt deep remorse.
'If only...'
"There's no point regretting the past now."
Ryan muttered while he handed a small black box.
I lowered my head and glanced at the box.
"What's this?"
"It's sothing Smallsnake told to give to you in case sothing happened to him."
Shoving it at , he followed the others, leaving behind.
A stifling silence perated the air as I stood rooted on the spot, staring at the small black box in my hand.
I already had an idea of what was inside the box, and it was precisely because I knew that I felt hesitant.
My lips trembled as I squeezed the package tightly into my palm.
"You really..."
***
End of Volu [4] Part 2/3.
There was originally only going to be two parts for the end of the volu, but it ended up being 6k words long, so I'll be cutting it to three parts.
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