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~~~(POV: Cera Adamo)~~~
~~~(Location: Walking Country Side of Capital City Zenith, The Kingdom of Zenith)~~~
~~~(Ti: 5:30 PM)~~~
Alia ca up with the good idea of going for a walk in the countryside around Zenith City. She enjoyed the short flight here. It helps that she closed her eyes most of the way. Turns out, she's scared of heights, which I didn't know before.
We're walking side by side in silence, and there are still a couple of hours of daylight left. Capital City Zenith is off to our left, and fields with crops are off on the right. Beyond those fields are forests.
Alia has been quiet for a while now, but she's got a happy grin. I wouldn't know the joy a parent has when spending ti with a child. It's different when compared to other joys. That's all I know.
"You've been quiet... I don't want to seem rude, but you usually never stop talking when I'm around."
I don't want to hurt her feelings, but it's the only way to broach the subject. When soone isn't acting like themselves, it's okay to ask what's going on.
"I've just been thinking a lot about my future... I've gained years to my youth thanks to becoming a Player, but now I feel like I've regained all those years with my job as a noble... I have days where I want to grab the kids and run away..."
She might not know how common that is when soone with her type of life undergoes massive changes. To be honest, I don't even know what her dreams are... She might not even know...
"Well... What's sothing you've always wanted to do? The thing that you'd call a dream. Everyone has one, and don't say giving your kids a better place to live or making better lives for the less fortunate. Cause dreams are supposed to be selfish."
That last part is just my opinion. While dreams in themselves can be selfless in nature, chasing your dreams takes selfishness. People don't understand that selfishness isn't always related to doing sothing bad.
She stops in her tracks, and I see a look of confusion on her face. But her eyes are locked on the ground, and her world looks like it's spinning.
"I... I don't know... Is it alright to say that I'm living my dream now? Giving better lives to those who need it, and raising the kids in the best environnt possible... Is that a bad dream to have?"
Alia has never given thought to a selfish dream... Most people have more than one dream... The fact this is the only one she's had doesn't surprise . It's ti that lay down another hard question for her to answer.
"Do you know who you are outside the loving mother and philanthropist you are? When was the last ti you sat down and thought about who you really are? You're an amazing person and a wonderful mother, Alia. But you need to find out who you are outside the charity bank."
That's the best way I can describe Alia. A charity bank, and that's not a bad thing. I just want her to think about who she is outside that identity she's crafted. Everyone has layers to them, and if they don't. They eventually will from the choices they make.
She grabs her elbows and takes a deep breath as she looks toward Capital City Zenith. I walk over to her and stand next to her. Looking in the sa direction she is.
"You're not supposed to be asking these things at such a young age... I'm the one that should be asking you this..."
Her voice has a mixture of exasperation, happiness, and so pride.
"I don't have an answer to any of those questions... I've been so focused on others my entire life, that I don't know who I am as a person... But maybe I should as you the sa thing... Do you know who you are?"
There are a lot of things she could've said to , but I'm surprised that she turned my question around on . She's picked up more from the nobles than she'd like to admit... And that's a question that I don't want to answer.
"A monster."
She looks at with wide eyes as I stare into the city...
It's the best answer I could co up with... I'm a ticking ti bomb of psychosis... Inconsistencies have built up within my personality, and I've gained contradictory habits. Not to ntion a homicidal and bloodthirsty streak.
There is a numbness in ... A switch that I can flip and turn into a different person... I'm a sociopath. That's guaranteed. But sotis, there are monts that all my regard for other people and creatures... Die... In .
Having that distinction is what separates the monster from the rest of the world. And when I flip that switch, it disappears.
"You are NOT a monster! You here !"
I failed to realize the world around when silent, and I sunk into myself. The only thing that brought back was Alia raising her voice.
"You are a good man that does what he thinks is right. And you've always protected the people who are innocent and have done you're best to help anyone who deserved it. I know cause I rember the announcents from The Church before I beca a Player."
There are two sides to every coin, and the sa can be said about people... Alia thinks too highly of , and she doesn't question a single thing I do. All because she thinks I'm her son when I'm not. I've done so good things... But I've done so worse things...
"A mother's opinion is always on the side of their children, mom... If you knew about so of the things, I've done... The truth... You'd never want to see again... You'd even condemn ..."
She looks heartbroken by my words, and she tries so hard to find words as she holds back tears. Her hands can't find a good place to rest on . She takes them on and off like I'm so damaged object. Her tears are falling hard, and her eyes are getting redder by the second.
"I don't know where you got it in your head that any of the things you're saying are true. But they're not. You hear ! Why is your opinion of yourself so low?! That insults everyone whos close to you and calls you a friend! Do you even realize that!?"
That's because I lie to everyone I've ever t... Even Sally... The only one that knows the entire truth about is Hailey, and I told her because we're the sa person. Hailey and I are different in certain ways, but my sister and I both made decisions we had no business making.
She wraps her arms around and hugs . Holding as tight as she can, but to her, it's like trying to hug steel. But that doesn't stop her. She closes her eyes and rests her head on my shoulder. Crying at the sa ti.
"No matter what you think of yourself... I'll always love you, no matter what... I'd give up everything and the world if it ant I could change your mind... But I can't do that... Change can only happen when you want it to... Another person can't force it..."
And she tells that I'm too young to be as smart as I am... There are demons in my head and life I need to face, one day... And I don't know what'll happen to the people in my life when I do... There are so many people in my life, that I don't deserve...
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A/N: Below this line, I'll be keeping Cera's player information. That way, I won't have to place it into the story above anymore. It takes about 180 words up.
[Slayer (Zern) Lvl.228][Tier-3]
[Exp: 42/100%]
[Title: The Son of Arch-Angel Michael (Hidden)]
[Stats] [Strength - 7095][Endurance - 7045][Dexterity - 7215][Speed - 8240][Focus - 19,660]
[Mana aura control: 6/100%]
[Health: 76,560,000,000/76,560,000,000] [Mana: 216,600,000,000/216,600,000,000]
[Stat Points: 350] [Armor rating: 500]
[Inventory] [Dice of Wayland (Divine)] [Hardened Tree sap Armor (Very Rare)] [The Witness (Legendary Sword)] [Fenrir's Whistle (Divine)] [Camping gear] [Food Rations 3x] [Dried at 3x] [Fishing poles 2x] [Fish 8x] [Festival Garbs 2x] [4x EXP Boosts]
[Passive Perks]
[Inheritor of the Sword] [Son of Heaven] [Slayer of Evil] [Holy Willow Trees Savior] [Finder of Legends] [The Divine who has Legend] [Destined for Greatness] [Dungeon Diver] [An Overachiever]
[Active Skills]
[Heavens light Lvl.74 325/7400] [Protected by Heaven Lvl.74 225/7400] [Slash Lvl.92 4600/21000] [Parry Lvl.68 85/6800] [Double Strike N/A] [Kingslayer N/A] [Raging Machine N/A] [Winged Glory] [Angelic Flight] [Divine Pressure Exertion] [Divinity Pulse] [Controlled Fun]
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