Kaya
I am lost. Confused. Terrified.
Everything is loud—too loud. The wind screeches, the trees bend like they’re mocking , and every scent that hits my nose screams danger. The ground pulses beneath my paws, and even the moon above feels foreign and unbelievably cold.
Everyone is a threat. That’s all I know. That’s all I’ve ever known.
I feel it in my bones. I feel it in my blood. I feel it in every single thing.
And the only way to survive is to destroy everything around .
So I lunge at him. At the man standing in front of . At the scent that both calms and terrifies because I can’t make sense of it.
I don’t want to be near it. I want it gone. I want everything gone.
He doesn’t do anything when my body collides with his human form, even as my claws scrape against his chest when we crash to the ground together. I hear his breath knock out of him, and sothing in snarls in triumph.
But then—he still doesn’t fight back. His arms don’t strike. His fangs don’t show. He doesn’t shift. He just... holds .
And that’s even more terrifying.
I leap back, circling him, pacing. Why isn’t he attacking ?
His scent surrounds again—strong, familiar, bitter, and warm all at once. My chest heaves, lungs aching, and I growl, trying to drive it away.
But he stands. Bleeding. Breathing. Still not afraid.
"Kaya," he says again––quiet and gentle.
My ears twitch in recognition at that na.
No. That’s not . That na is dangerous. That na ans weakness. That na ans I trusted people and got broken. That na is a cage.
I snap at him again, and he dodges, but barely. My claws rake across his side, drawing more blood. Why won’t he run?
"Please," he says, breathing heavily. "You’re safe. You’re safe now. So stop."
Safe? Stop?
What does that even an anymore?
The world isn’t safe. Nothing is safe. They chase . They touch . They hurt .
He reaches out—and I flinch back, snarling so loudly the birds in the trees scatter. My paws tremble as I prepare to leap again. My instincts scream at to fight, to kill, to survive.
But then he does sothing I don’t expect.
He kneels.
Right there. In front of . His arms drop to his sides, leaving his whole chest exposed.
My breath catches.
No. No, no, no. That’s not right. That’s not how you win. That’s how you die.
His voice is quieter this ti. Hoarse. Pleading. Desperate. "Kaya, I know you’re in there. I know you’re scared. I know it hurts. But you’re not alone anymore. And you have to listen. You have to connect. With your wolf. With ."
I freeze.
My claws stop twitching. My breath hitches. Sothing soft—sothing old—rustles deep in the part of I’ve buried so far down, I forgot it was ever there.
He doesn’t sll like danger.
He slls like... Ho.
My head tilts. My front legs shake. I see him—not as a shape, not as a threat, but as Magnus.
mories slam into like waves. The rogues. His eyes. The party. The drink. His eyes. The heat. The forest floor. His voice. His lips. His arms around . His—
Goddess.
What have I done?
My eyes—my wolf’s eyes—snap to his chest, where three shallow claw marks now bleed through his torn shirt. My claw marks.
A whimper escapes , sharp and small. The kind a wounded pup makes.
I stumble backward, tail lowered, ears flattened. My breath cos in short, panicked bursts.
He said I’m safe now. He said I’m not alone. But I feel so monstrously alone.
I don’t want to be this. I don’t want to be a beast.
I don’t want to be afraid anymore.
I close my eyes. I focus. I breathe through the thick haze of panic and rage, deeper and deeper, until I find the thread of that’s still there, curled up and shaking in the corner of my mind.
Kaya, I whisper to myself. Shift back. Please. Co back.
And slowly... painfully... I do.
The crack of bone and muscle reshaping slices through the air. My fur recedes, my limbs collapse, but I don’t feel the cold of the earth on my skin.
Magnus catches , embraces in his hot arms, while his intoxicating scent seeps into my body through every single pore of my skin, soothing all the ache, all the loneliness, all the fear.
I want to cling to him, but at the sa ti, I don’t. Because just like the mont ago, all of a sudden, I feel so damn lonely.
"Why?" I whisper, tears rolling down my cheeks as I push him away and kneel back, putting space between us. "Why... are you doing this to ?"
The question lands like a bomb, rupturing the fragile, fleeting peace between us. Magnus’s face goes still—his bright amber eyes widen, but they’ve lost that familiar fire that once burned through .
"What...?"
I don’t know why, but even the sound of his voice grates against like sandpaper on a fresh wound.
"You keep saving ! You saved !" The words burst out of , raw and ragged, a wail more than a sentence. "You took in—you promised a new life! Then you kissed ! Just like that, out of nowhere! And then—" My voice cracks. "You pushed away."
Magnus opens his mouth, but nothing cos out. For so reason, I feel a surge of relief—I want to keep speaking. I need to. I need to tear open every wound that’s been festering inside because I can’t carry it anymore.
"Why are you pulling in, only to push away?"
I stop—pleading silently for an answer, any answer. And for a breathless mont, I think he might give one. His expression shifts, folding in on itself with sothing heartbreakingly familiar. He clenches his fists at his sides, eyes narrowing—not with anger, but sothing deeper. More complex.
Not frustration.
Sothing restrained. Heavy. Sad.
There’s sothing behind that gaze. More than pain. More than guilt. More than any of the silence he’s ever given .
But what is it? And when—when will he finally let see it?
"Tell why, Magnus!" Hot tears burn down my cheeks again, and my voice trembles so violently that I have to pause after every word just to string a coherent sentence together. But I don’t care. I’ll keep asking until I get the answer. Until I bleed. Until I die.
Because I have to know.
I have to understand why he’s always there for —why he pulls in, even when I try to resist. Why every fiber of my being struggles toward him. Why his re presence feels like gravity. Why he feels like... ho.
"I am your mate, Kaya." At last, his cold, low voice slices through the flood of my thoughts like a sobering tide. "You are my mate. And I am yours."
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