The Alpha's Fated Outcast: Rise Of The Moonsinger. Chapter 409 409: Unexpected pep talk

Lyla

"That's just it, I can't." I sighed. "It's like the mory slips away the mont I try to focus on it. I've tried multiple tis to concentrate and really rember the dream, but I forget everything as soon as I wake, and I feel like Nyris is trying to tell sothing."

"You can ask her about that when you wake up, No?" Circe asked, giving a strange look.

"It doesn't work like that, Circe," I shook my head. "The thing is, Nyris is alive and at the sa ti dead. I killed her, but she's still there because I am still alive, and she can't just die like that. But I can't talk to her like a normal person would their wolf."

"Oh!" Circe nodded, reaching out to take my hand, which she squeezed warmly. "That was a really dumb question, I'm sorry."

I nodded, smiling at her. "It's fine."

"You know," she continued, "pregnancy can sotis interfere with our natural abilities, which is why when a woman is pregnant, in your own case, I feel like your babies are creating so kind of interference."

"My thoughts exactly," I nodded my head. "That's why I desperately need to know what Nyris is trying to warn about. I know it's important, and I feel like the information could save us."

I clasped Circe's hand tightly, and an idea was already forming in my mind. "Co into my dream or read my mind, how is it even done. Basically…"

"I know what you an, Lyla," Circe raised her hand to stop , "But that's dangerous and only a high priestess can do that. Besides, didn't you get one of those things before? I heard from Lenny that you were in a coma for several days and Miriam had to connect with you to…"

"Exactly," I nodded my head, not letting her finish. "But this ti around, I am healthy and not in a coma. It's the only way to see if you can hear what Nyris is trying to say and recognise the place where she keeps taking to."

"No, Lyla," she shook her head. "I can't do that. I'm not qualified. Just tell Miriam to do it for you, she would agree."

I scoffed and leaned back on the couch, shaking my head. "She would never agree to it in the first place, and when she eventually agrees, if it's sothing difficult or dangerous, Nanny would never tell . She would give half-truths like she has all my life."

"That's harsh, Lyla. She's your mom, and I know most tis, mothers can be a bit protective —"

"A bit protective?" I laughed dryly. "I wish that were the case, Circe. Everything I know about myself, I've learned from other people. Before I knew she was my mother, she lied to about everything. She refused to give explanations for her actions, and she still does it to date; they all do."

"Lyla?"

"No!" I got up, allowing the tears that had been stuck in my chest to flow freely now. "Let finish, Circe. You don't understand how much it sucks to be treated like a retard until now. The only person who ever made feel seen was Xander."

"Xander?" Circe arched her brow.

"The Dark One!" I murmured, cleaning my face. "Perhaps, that's one of the reasons I fell in love with him. He told things, even though so of them were lies, but he made know who I was. They think they're all protecting , trying to hide the truth from , but these things are bound to happen anyway…"

"Lyla…"

"How much longer will I cower to the shadows and hide from this reality and from the fact that I have tons of responsibility?" I yelled, ignoring Circe's call. "I just want to be told the truth and given the chance to make decisions myself. If Nanny ever goes into the dream world and finds what Nyris was trying to tell , she would not breathe a word of it to ."

"And you think I would?" Circe asked, rising slowly. "You're important to Ramsey. I've never seen him feel this way about any person. You're pregnant, you're the future of our world, these are valid reasons why anyone would protect you, but the problem is you never accept help."

I turned to Circe with a scoff. "?" I pointed my index finger to my chest, trying to wrap my head around the allegation. "That's not true, Circe."

"It is true!" Circe nodded. "You're selfish, and what if your mom is worried about how rash you might beco when you get too emotional?"

"I don't get too emotional," I fired back. "I can think through things logically?"

"You think?" Circe smirked. "You don't, unfortunately, Lyla. There are parts of you that didn't have the chance to heal properly. You are desperate to prove that you are capable and not second best, and when you really get in your feelings, you throw caution to the wind, and maybe soone's tried to tell you before, but you gaslit them and made it all about you?"

I turned to stare at Circe, wondering what the hell was going on. Was she for or against ? We stared at each other for a few minutes before I finally spoke.

"Are you purposely trying to hurt ?" I croaked.

"Didn't you just complain about wanting the truth?" Circe shrugged. "I'm simply telling you the things I've observed in the little ti I've known you. The reason why everyone is afraid to be truthful around you is because you always throw tantrums, and since their love for you—"

"Hold on right there," I felt anger simring beneath . "I don't throw tantrums. I'm not a child."

"I can see that, of course, but you know why it was easy for The Dark One to prey on you?" She took a step toward , smiling broadly. "He gave you tough, toxic love. I don't know what goes on in your head, but the only ti you'd appreciate anyone is when they turn all violent or, I don't know, toxic on you. They treat you that way, and you tell yourself this person sees ."

"That's not true," I shook my head. "You're lying."

"Miriam has been with you from childhood until now. The story says she pretended to be your Nanny just to be close to you. She kept quiet all those years, so she wouldn't be denied the opportunity to be your mother even when she couldn't claim that title openly."

"She lied to ."

"Have you considered how hard it must have been for her? Watching another woman take her place as your mother? You grew up as Alpha Logan's daughter, but up until now, she has refused to take a step forward and tell the whole world that she's your mother. People don't call you a bastard, they all know you as the Alpha's daughter, do you realise that?"

"And so?" I scread. "What has that got to do with anything?"

Circe paused for a minute. "Maybe, it's ti to bring your eyes down and appreciate the little efforts of everyone around you. Love your mate more."

"I love Ramsey with all my heart."

"Yeah, because he lets you do whatever the hell you want to do, but it's none of my business. Asking to go into your head while you have a mom who will look out for you and protect you in the process, just because you think I give tough love, is weird. I'm sorry, Lyla… but if there's a reason that is not coming to you, then you should wait until it cos to you. Until then, we have too much load on our hands to worry about a star sign in your dream."

"You're cruel," I shook my head. "And vile."

"Yeah, yeah," she rolled her eyes. "Now, do you have anything I can borrow from your wardrobe? I need to look my best when we et, this Delia."

As Circe left, I remained on the couch, staring out the window at the darkening sky. And for the first ti, I felt light-hearted because no matter how much I hated myself, Circe was right about everything.

I thrive in chaos.

Whenever I feel like I'm being loved right, I get overwheld and suspicious. There were parts of that still haven't let go of the teenage stigma of being called a wolfless deviant. No matter how much I try to ignore that part, I still wonder if people still think that way of .

"Hey! I was looking for you," Nanny's voice sounded behind as she entered the room. She paused when she noticed I didn't turn to look at her.

In seconds, she was by my side, kneeling in front of . Her eyes, which mirrored mine, stared at in concern.

"Baby, what's wrong with you? Did sothing happen when I was away?"

I shook my head, swallowing back tears. "I'm sorry for being a spoilt brat and not realising how much you love ," I cried, falling on her shoulders. "I'm sorry, mummy."

I felt her stiffen for a minute before her hand ca around , patting at my back gently. After a few seconds, she pulled back.

"Hey! You can't be like this, Lyla!" she had a contemplative look on her face. "The emotion you should feel is anger, not this."

I sniffed, looking at her through teary eyes. "Why?"