Where did it go wrong?
When did I forget my purpose, my goals?
At what point had I forgotten that these are real people; at what point did I group them up as rely a cohort that will be accompanying us, and not as Humans?
Why did I do that?
Why?
I could have told Yulei years ago and helped her figure sothing out to prevent her from degrading, from losing more of her soul.
But I didn't.
I could have told Es about what our mother had turned into; I could have had her help all along.
But I didn't.
I could have easily snuck information onto Nemora so she'd be on my side; so she could help the others process the devastating news better.
But I didn't.
"..."
The fingers wrapped around my waist tightened; they dug into my flesh.
When did I beco so greedy? So Selfish?
At what point did I get it stuck in my head that I was doing this for everyone; at what point did I stick myself as the tragic protagonist?
...Ah.
The black sprout within my chest cavity; in the core of my being;
It swayed.
It gleefully cackled with manic laughter.
From the beginning.
I always considered myself special.
A reincarnator.
The twin sister of Es.
A Perfect Cursed Doll.
...And who was the one who led further down this path?
...Who perfected ?
Mother?
No.
It wasn't mother.
I recognised it imdiately.
The cackles of madness brewing in the depths of my chest.
The one that had been leading down all of these incorrect choices.
The one that revealed its 'face' on the fateful day that revealed my broken self to Es.
This play of madness.
This theatrical performance of this faulty, little creature-
Always, from the very beginning, from the start of my pathetic existence to this fateful day;
It's been you.
It's always been you.
Madness.
The personification of madness.
Our father.
It.
My downfall has been its perfect play.
I had to take a deep breath to ease the sprout of madness giggling gleefully in my chest. Anything that I could quickly do to prevent myself from spiralling, I did.
asured breathing, brief flashes of ditation; anything.
Nevertheless, I had to do sothing at this mont.
As Es stared at from beyond Nemora's towering body, as Yulei and Vanessa shared in their grief, as Elden and Jill sat with scrunched, nigh-deranged faces, and all the while Hildekar stared blankly with stunned, empty eyes-
"I'm sorry."
I apologised.
That's what I had to do at the mont-
No, it was the only thing I could do. It was the first step in recovering from this ss that I had created out of thin air.
"An apology isn't enough." Shaking her head, Nemora stepped away and walked towards the two grieving girls.
I was left alone in Hilda's embrace; I was left with Es's blazing eyes smouldering with crackling, wrathful flickers of lightning.
The fingers planted on my waist trickled upwards to my face, slipped beneath the mask, and clasped my face.
Hilda's soft fingers gently caressed my skin, "Little dummy."
"...Mhm?" I mumbled.
"I trust you with my life. It's yours." Her mouth lowered to my ear as she spoke those reassuring words with a whispery breath.
Being pulled far deeper into Hilda's crushingly warm embrace, my eyes turned upwards at the second person to co up to .
Arguably, the most important person in this vast cavern.
"Sister..."
Es gently twirled her head left and right. She raised her right hand and dampened my agitated breath. Then, my dear sister spoke:
"Alora."
My heart teetered on the brink of crumbling into worthless pieces; don't hate , please, not you.
Staring down at , into my ugly soul-
"I won't forgive you."
-she broke the fragile thread holding this vile creature's puppet self.
I fell.
Not literally, but taphorically.
My heart; my soul; my self.
The madness that had sprouted in my chest reared its head with shrieks of insanity.
Those judgntal golden eyes pierced into as she balled her fists with palpable anger; unquenchable rage.
"Because there is nothing to forgive."
...Huh?
Es smiled at , her lips curled up with wrathful sorrow.
"Why would I bla you? My dear sister?"
Shaking her head, Es promptly lowered herself to . She crouched re centitres away, allowing the fragrant scent of fruits and flowers to waft into .
Then.
Staring into my soul.
Speaking with enlightennt flickering in the depths of her eyes-
"A child should not be blad for the transgressions of the adults."
Es uttered the simple truth.
The undeniable truth.
Children cannot be blad for the transgressions of the adults.
Alora, I, could not be blad.
But I'm an adult-
"Alora. We can't be blad. Neither you nor I."
Es proceeded to point at the cohort lingering behind her with mixtures of emotions, "Nor can they be blad-" Then, pointing at Hilda, "-nor your Sword Maid, Hilda."
"Also, don't bla Nemora for speaking harshly, I implore you."
Raising her lips with regret and helplessness, "It's her Curse. Her sole Curse. A Curse of dented proportions."
Glancing back in my direction, "...Perhaps in this Domain of Light, only a few hold Curses of worse proportions. Right?"
Click.
Sothing in my brain clicked.
Clack.
A button, perhaps?
Click.
Or, was it the rotation of a wheel-
Clack.
-a gear.
"Yes, mother."
It ca out.
Naturally, chanically, inhumanely.
This Doll's words slipped from its mouth nonchalantly, familiarly, normally. Two words, yet these very words stank with the pungence of puppetry.
Es's lips flickered.
The hands on my face retracted to my waist; they pulled deeper.
Es's eyes flickered with flas imbued with her rage.
Hilda's mouth moved over to my scalp and pecked it.
Because both of them recognised it.
...Both of the people I loved the most understood, to a terrifying level of clarity, that I was a broken little thing.
To Hilda, this wasn't new.
But to Es, to the one I had been keeping in the dark for the entirety of our short lives-
Thud.
She collapsed to her knees, dirtying her black stockings and ripping her knee-length skirt. Her hands dropped lifelessly onto her thighs, clenching softly, weakly, into fists.
Her throat hiccuped as she stared into my eyes.
Liquid glazed her eyes-
Gulp.
-but then she swallowed it.
Her fists tightened with compressed, pulsating Blessing-imbued fire and lightning. Sparks flickered from her hands, filling the air between us with fireworks drenched in Es's emotions.
Then, Es loosened her balled fists.
She released the fire and lightning and reached for my head with a slim smile.
Squish.
Placing her hands on the sides of my head, she leaned over and planted her forehead on the silver-white face of the mask.
"They did this to you, didn't they?" The calmness in Es's voice sent shivers crackling down my spine.
She was too calm, especially for a girl who'd just realised her whole life was a lie; for a girl who loved her parents; for a girl who now knew what those very sa parents had done to her dear sister.
"I chose to-"
"Shh."
Es hushed my panicked words.
"You are not to bla."
The ocean of starlight swimming in Es's golden eyes soothed my soul.
"You are not at fault."
Caressing the sides of my face, she leaned slightly to my left and tucked her mouth into my ear.
"And I will never forgive them."
...At that ti.
All those years ago, I couldn't see Es's eyes.
I couldn't comprehend the pain that I had imprinted into my lovely Es.
I couldn't even understand what I had truly done.
And I had yet to comprehend the magnitude of the consequences of my actions.
Thus.
I missed it.
The growing madness.
"I won't let you fall any further, dear sister."
"And..."
Whispering deeper into my ears, in a voice too quiet for even Hilda's hearing to catch:
"...I'm sorry."
Biting her lips, Es pulled back and revealed a smile once more to .
But then-
"Let's get to work then, shall we?!" Cheerfully patting my paralysed body, Es rolled her shoulders and stretched her taut limbs.
All of the tension, anxiety, and worries bubbling in the air popped.
She crushed it into smithereens; sister...
I made my decision at that mont:
"Fine. I'll tell you everything after we take our Third Step, before exiting the Crucible of Light; before then, it's better if I stay quiet. Not because I want to hide anything from you, but because the Third Step is too important to be interrupted."
I glanced over the others temporarily, "They also have to reach the Third Step, otherwise their Authority will remain too low. But they should have enough ti, right, Hilda?"
"Yep! More than enough ti; just watch, I'll hit the Third Step before you reach 130 centitres in height! Or 30kg in weight!"
This cheeky bitch.
Grinning and chuckling all together, Es patted Hilda's shoulder with a laugh in her voice, "Alright, co on, pick her up. Let's get this over and done with already."
My body was imdiately swung up and into a princess carry. Once again, I was tall enough to stare down at my adorable sister, "I'm taller than you now~"
"Certainly~" Es joked back, then beckoned us to follow her over to the rest of the cohort.
At this mont, Nemora stood behind Yulei's wheelchair. She temporarily took Vanessa's position to give the girl a chance to recover her powers.
Vanessa grumpily stood beside the boys with her arms crossed. Her eyes oogled with malice from afar. Jill and Elden were holding the girl back from blowing her fuse and attacking on the spot.
I still have no idea what her problem is.
...But I can't pry.
Vanessa is a Human.
She's a person.
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