It is approaching our 13th birthday.
According to Es's calculations, her Approval should be complete about 2-6 months after we turn 14. So between February and June.
At this point, almost everything was prepared for our escape from the Domain of Light. The Canary's completion was progressing at full force, and Nemora was in the midst of preparing our supplies.
Lily and Hilda are also prepared to leave at any mont.
Of course, while Hilda understood what was going to happen, Liliy only knew that we were leaving.
Not how, when, or where to.
But she, too, was ready.
But I am concerned over how Lily, soone who had yet to step into the Heirarchy, could survive in the Sunless Skies, but Es reassured . That on its own is good enough for ; if Es says it's fine, then it's fine.
I trust her.
...But do you know who else I trust?
Not through my heart, but through the basis that her plans happen to collide with the one who aid to shatter my relationships in the past?
Who, to this day, is still churning through with the bud of madness?
"Mother, it is a splendid day today." Monotonously speaking through the tight embrace of Hilda, I stared at my mother.
At the lady who birthed in this wretched life of mine.
"Indeed, my sweet Alora. It is made even better through this morning breakfast. Having you as company has brightened my day!" Her words rang with null but truth.
She didn't lie, not even for a second.
She believed in the truth of her own words.
But that was to be expected, "I'm glad you feel the sa, mother."
Mother smiled languidly, rested her chin on an open palm, and leaned forward, "Oh...? You didn't lie just now, my sweet Alora. You've gotten quite accustod to lying at so point, even though lying should be followed by a suitable punishnt... But, fortunately, those days are long over!"
Releasing her hand from her chin, she clapped enthusiastically, "You don't need anything else from , so there's nothing more to worry about."
"...Actually-" I took a deep breath to clear the creeping mories of punishnt away, "-there's sothing I want to ask you, mother."
"What is it, sweetie?"
"When we leave, is there anything we should watch out for that is different from in the Domain of Light?"
"As a matter of fact, sweetie, yes, there is." Tapping the table, "There's just one thing to watch out for that will be different, the Domain's Artefacts. Things like that pale-beiged bird's wheelchair, or the red bird's communication tablet... They will cease to work."
...Oh no.
Hilda's arms tensed and curled deeper into my waist.
"What can we do about it?"
Mother chuckled, waved her hand, and said, "Nothing. You can't, and will, do nothing about it. You'll have to be satisfied with campfires, classic wheelchairs, and more. Get used to it~"
Many worries flickered through my brain, but mother gave no ti to process this truth properly.
"Anyways! Let's get to eating, the food may get cold otherwise."
"We have a lot more to chat about~"
-----
"What did you just say, you bitch?"
"Language."
"I said what I said, there are no mistakes there."
Vanessa, Jill, and Nemora spoke one by one in order.
"The fuck you an no Artefacts! How in the fucking bullshit is Yulei going to get around in that damned Sunless Skies then?!"
Nemora raggedly squeezed her forehead with narrowed eyes, "I don't know. If anything, you're most suited to taking care of her anyway. It's not like we have much of a choice anymore; anything powered with Blessings and Curses and created in this Domain will no longer function."
"Anything else?" Jill asked.
"Not that I know of, Hilda only passed along that information. For all we know, more might be missing. Other crucial information that could be detrintal to the journey, but..."
"But we have no fucking way of figuring it out, is that the shit you're about to tell ?"
"...yes, that's exactly what I was about to tell you."
Suddenly, a voice rushed from the distance; it echoed gratingly into their ears:
"Oyy!!! I can hear that idiot's voice from all the way over here! Either help Jill the stiffy out or get out already!"
Jill cleared his throat and stared at the two girls from the corner of his eye, "...He has a point."
Vanessa predictably clicked her teeth while Nemora agreed with Elden's comnt, "Fine, let's help out for now. You've been doing all the hard work on your loneso; this is the least we can do."
"Fuck off." And so Vanessa said, but she joined in on the effort nonetheless.
But, right then, Jill shrugged his shoulders, "You've done plenty, Nemora." He kept his words short, but the implication of them struck Vanessa's ears.
And, as expected, the veins in the girl's head squird with wrath, "...The fuck did you say?!"
"You heard ."
...And, also as expected, Vanessa lashed out instantly at his offhanded comnts.
Many kicks and punches were thrown one-sidedly that day.
-----
I don't know how to properly convey my existence as a Perfect Cursed Doll to Es without severely hurting her.
After putting a lot of thought into the intricate details that had been laid out in front of Es's eyes for years, I could only imagine how hurt she'd be once I pass the truth to her. Of course, I'm sure she's figured out plenty already, but-
A part of her is likely in denial.
-and it's to be expected.
Es is very young, and she's been forced into this play of monsters from the mont she was born.
Stupidly believing that she'd be okay would be pathetic on my end.
...Wait.
"..."
I had to pause for a mont and think through what had just gone through my brain just now.
"..."
Sothing was off.
"..."
Let go through it again.
I know Es is hurting.
I know Es has figured it out already.
And I know that Es is in denial.
...Huh?
What's off?
Sothing was horrendously wrong.
One part of it, sothing, sowhere, was twisted.
My Authority stated it so.
...Wait.
It clicked.
...Why?
I recognised the error.
...How co I believed that Es is in denial?
That made no sense.
Es was the most straightforward person I knew; for her to be in denial would go against her character as a person.
So why did I believe that she was in denial?
Why did I so casually trust that 'truth'?
She's indeed very young, and this will severely hurt her; it already has, but denial?
Not my Es.
My Es wouldn't be in denial.
She'd be angry.
Wrathful.
Es would burn the world down to fix what's broken.
That's the Es I know.
"Little dummy?"
"Quiet for a mont."
"Hmph."
Ignoring the fingers pinching my waist, I thought it through again; why did I genuinely believe that she would be in denial? Where did these misleading, incorrect thoughts co from? These incorrect assumptions that I conjured from thin air-
From thin air?
No.
It wasn't from thin air.
There was sothing inside of that could twist ; sothing that could make soone else.
The Seed of Madness.
As I called it, the budding flower that had been planted in by the madness; it can manipulate . And not just it, it's also possible that the Curses filling my body are influencing my brain-
191,095,893
butimalreadyinsane
imalreadyabrokenlittlething
ivelongbeenthinkingimproperly
thatsnothingknew
this
thishoweverisnew
there'snouniversewhereiwouldbelievethatEswouldbeindenial
191,097,011
-my brain is completely fine.
It must be to do with the Seed of Madness.
"Oh! By the way, little dummy, will you be fine when Ascending to the Third Step? I can't tell you much about it because it's completely different for each person; if I try to help you, it might hurt you instead."
"Hm? Oh, yes, I'll be fine."
Mostly.
"Good!"
I think.
The fingers pinching my waist loosened, then smoothly switched the way I was lying on Hilda into the form of a princess carry, "Co on now then, little dummy, we have to go wash up! It's bedti."
Having beco accustod to getting carried, and also having gotten used to being bathed by Hilda-
Oh, and I do have to ntion, Hilda doesn't have any inappropriate thoughts towards while bathing . She fulfils her duty as my Sword Maid perfectly during those dignity-destroying monts.
...Which is actually quite surprising considering her personality.
I'd have expected, ahem, more, from her.
-----
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Her knees rattled repeatedly with agitated movents.
Tap! Tap! Tap!
The boots slamming into the ground indented the wood with singed textures.
Crush!
Then, they pierced through and into the foundation of her bedroom. Pausing for a millisecond, she brushed her swaying, long strands of snow-white hair aside and sighed.
"It's wrong."
Es didn't know what it was.
"But it's wrong."
But Es understood that it ca from inside of her.
"It's not normal."
This emotion, this feeling, was unfamiliar to her.
"It shouldn't be happening."
Every inch, every grain, of her body scread at her that it was inherently long to hold these emotions.
She had no idea what this emotion was, though. Throughout her short but rather eventful life, she hadn't co across this feeling in her chest a single ti. Es had felt sothing similar to it when she looked at her friends and the people she cared for, but this-
And the fact that it only flushed through her when the image of her dear sister flashed through her mind-
"It's wrong."
-Es clutched her chest tightly, "What are these hot feelings? Why? Why is it like this?" A misty veil shrouded her vision, and her emotions began to be riled up with confusion and helplessness.
"What are they?"
She didn't like it.
Not in the slightest.
But as the days passed.
As she ca to realise that these feelings that had begun to spring up in her garden of vibrant, plentiful emotions...
As Es ca to a certain understanding...
She realised it.
The fact that they weren't going anywhere.
These emotions clung to her, and they weren't willing to peel off.
"...I hate it."
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