"Lin Sui’er, you hate , don’t you? Fine. Since I’m here today, I’m going to listen. Tell exactly what I’ve done that makes you hate . There’s no rush. We have all the ti in the world today, so we can go through it one thing at a ti. I’ll listen until you’re satisfied."
Gu’er took a stool and sat down opposite Lin Sui’er.
Lin Sui’er thought Gu’er would curse her out, hit her, or just leave in a rage. She never imagined Gu’er would actually sit down to talk. ’What is she playing at?’
"I don’t want to talk to you. Go away. I can’t be bothered with you. I need to sleep."
But Lin Sui’er didn’t want to talk with Gu’er.
"Don’t have the guts to talk to ? If you won’t talk, I will. I’m asking you now, why do you hate ? Is it just because I ca to this family and stole so of the affection and attention away from you?"
But Gu’er wouldn’t let it go, pressing Lin Sui’er.
"Isn’t that it?"
Lin Sui’er shot back defiantly.
"What if we traded places? What if you were the one who got lost back then, and you lived the life I did? Then, when you ca back to this family, I—in your position—felt like you were stealing my affection. How would you feel?"
Gu’er asked Lin Sui’er.
Lin Sui’er froze. She’d never thought of it like that. ’If I were Gu’er... if I had been the one who was lost, and ended up with a family like that... No, no, no. I would *never* end up with a family like that. I wouldn’t live that kind of life. I can’t even stand the thought of it. But... if it *was* , and I returned to my real parents, only to have my own sister be jealous of , reject , and treat badly... what would I do?’
Lin Sui’er didn’t dare to think about it.
"But I’m not you."
Lin Sui’er pushed the possibility from her mind, finding it too terrifying to consider.
"That’s right. You’re not , and I’m not you. That’s why I’m only envious that you grew up doted on by our parents. I’m not jealous. Jealousy makes a person lose so much. But never mind. You wouldn’t listen if I tried to preach these grand principles to you, so I won’t. I just want to tell you how I feel."
Gu’er sighed and continued, "At first, I didn’t really want to co back to this family. My biological parents were strangers to , and I was terrified. I didn’t know how to act around them, and I was afraid I wouldn’t get along with everyone. I worried that if conflicts arose, it would be even more heartbreaking. Honestly, when I first ca, I kept my expectations low. I know that the higher you hope, the harder you fall, and I didn’t want to set myself up for that kind of disappointnt."
Just as Gu’er said this, Lin Sui’er interrupted: "Stop making it sound so noble. Didn’t you only agree to co back because this family could give you a better life?"
"I don’t deny it. Coming back to this family, my life is much better than it was in the village. At least I don’t have to worry about food or clothing. But life is about more than just having food to eat and clothes to wear. People have other aspirations. Sui’er, from the mont I ca back, you’ve found fault with in every possible way. You think I stole your affection, but is affection sothing that can be stolen? The feelings between people are mutual. You only get back what you put in. I actually wanted to have a good relationship with you at first, just like with Xiao Zheng. But you never gave the chance."
Gu’er was speaking the truth. She really had wanted a good younger sister, not another Zhou Feng’er or Zhou Duo’er.
"Xiao Zheng is a kid; he’ll listen to your sweet-talking. You can’t fool . I’ve hated you since the first ti I saw you."
Lin Sui’er said resentfully.
"You’re right. I hate you too. Maybe we were enemies in a past life, so now we’re fated to hate each other in this one."
Gu’er nodded. She didn’t need to suck up to Sui’er. The reason she was saying so much today was just to do her part. As for the outco, that was up to Lin Sui’er herself.
"You always say Dad values more, that he’s better to . But why does he value ? Why doesn’t he value you? You’ve been by his side for much longer than I have. But have you ever done anything to make him value you?"
Gu’er asked Lin Sui’er again.
"That’s because he’s biased! He never gave a chance."
Lin Sui’er bit her lip.
"If that’s what you want to think, there’s nothing I can do. Opportunities aren’t given to you by others; you have to seize them for yourself."
Gu’er shook her head inwardly.
"You always say you like Li Zhi, but he’s always revolving around . Have you ever stopped to think why?"
Gu’er questioned Lin Sui’er again. Seeing that she was about to speak, Gu’er held up a hand. "Stop. And don’t you dare say it’s because I’m a flirt. I have never tried to lead anyone on. Your looks are on par with mine, you’re younger, and you’re more energetic, so why doesn’t he like you? It’s because you have nothing in common. Because you don’t have that ’spark,’ nothing about you that truly attracts him. A man like him isn’t looking for youth and energy, or just a pretty face. He needs soone he can talk to, soone he can admire, soone who he feels has sothing to say and has her own ambitions. Do you have any of those things? If you don’t, on what basis do you expect him to like you?"
Lin Sui’er stared blankly at Gu’er. She never thought Gu’er would say these things to her. She’d never considered any of this before. She had always been extre in her thinking, believing that Gu’er was leading Li Zhi on, that Gu’er refused to help her. But she’d never thought about what Gu’er was saying now, and subconsciously, she knew Gu’er wasn’t lying.
"Then... then what do I..."
Lin Sui’er looked at Gu’er, unsure of what to say.
"And now you’ve made such a ss of yourself, running around and fooling around with those hooligans, staying out all night. You use these thods to get back at your own family, making them worry and hurting them, and you’re secretly proud of yourself, thinking you’ve won. You, acting like this, still expect him to like you?"
Gu’er looked at Sui’er with a hint of mockery on her face.
Lin Sui’er opened her mouth. She wanted to scream, but no words ca out. In truth, Gu’er wasn’t wrong. She had brought all of this on herself.
"Y-you, stop talking! I don’t want to hear it! I don’t want to hear it!"
Lin Sui’er suddenly covered her ears, afraid Gu’er would say sothing else she couldn’t bear to hear.
"Can’t take it already? I see you’re only brave when it cos to your own family. You only dare to throw these tantrums with our mom. If you were in any other family, do you think they’d tolerate this? Your life has been too easy, that’s the problem. It’s spoiled you rotten. If we threw you into the village for a few years, let’s see if you’d still have the energy to get revenge on us."
But Gu’er wouldn’t let up, continuing with a cold smile.
"I told you to stop. It’s not like I wanted to do those things, I..."
Lin Sui’er’s composure was starting to crumble. In reality, she was a very simple girl. She had never experienced any real hardship or suffering growing up and had no idea how malicious people could be, or how vicious gossip was.
"What’s the use of getting fierce with ? You say you didn’t want to do it, but you did it anyway, didn’t you? Was it not you who stayed out all night with another man? Lin Sui’er, do you have any idea, if other people find out about this, the gossip will break your back? Mom and Dad will have to suffer the insults right along with you. Have you ever considered what you’ll do if you get pregnant? Are you really going to marry that hooligan? Why don’t you use that brain of yours before you do things? If you want to ruin your own life, fine, but don’t drag everyone else down with you."
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