The Accidental Necromancer Chocolate is Better than Disappointment

She licked her finger off. “This is amazing. What do you call it?”

“The contents of the bag are called trail mix. A mix that provides good nutrition on a hike on a trail, basically.”

“No, I an the stuff that looks like poop but tastes better even than heckleberries or lembas bread.”

“We call it chocolate. I have a friend that says that trail mix is a combination of chocolate and disappointnt, because the chocolate is so much the best part.”

She popped another piece in her mouth. “Do you always have to sort through the disappointnt to get to the chocolate?”

“Not always,” I said. “Could we talk about getting loose, since you’ve got my chocolate?”

“Shush,” she said, and kept picking through the trail mix and popping the chocolate chips in her mouth. “This is amazing. Better than sex.”

“I think it depends on your partner. But yes, it’s very good.” Watching the almost naked dryad in the middle of sensuous enjoynt was producing more of a reaction than being groped.

She didn’t say another word until she’d left only nuts in the trail mix.

“Do you want more?” I asked.

“You have more?”

“Not on . But I know where to get so. If you set free, I’ll co back with more chocolate.”

“As much as this?”

I could bring much more, if I wanted to. But if she was going to let go for that, I wasn’t going to bargain against myself. “Yes, I think I can get that much,” I said. “It will cost , but obviously, my freedom is worth it.”

She looked at , thinking about it.

“Or you can try keeping restrained forever, constantly watching unless I escape, and never having any more chocolate again as long as you live.”

She frowned. “There is another alternative, you know.”

“You could kill . Also resulting in no more chocolate.”

She didn’t say anything.

“But I think you’re a better person, er, dryad, than that.”

She looked offended. “Dryads are people.”

“Definitely,” I agreed.

She gave a fierce look. “If you try to harm , I’ll just wrap you up again. And this ti I’ll use vines with thorns. Swear you’ll co back, with chocolate and without doing harm?”

“I swear I’ll co back with chocolate and won’t touch you without your permission.”

“What about with my permission?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“That we can talk about,” I said, amazed at her ability to turn on a di.

She walked forward. “Well, you seem harmless enough.” She pushed her chest up against , and slid her hand along my side, down to my hip. “I didn’t swear an oath not to touch you.”

“No, you didn’t,” I agreed.

She tugged at my shorts, and when they didn’t yield, she knelt on the ground and worked the button loose. “How do these co off, anyway?”

“Um, Xyla, what are you doing?” My cock was reacting, in spite of my situation. I really needed to focus on making sure she let go. My cock was definitely hard now, and straining against the shorts. In fact, it was peeking out the top.

“Sealing the deal, of course.” She rubbed the sensitive glans, making shudder. “You must be enormous.”

“My clothes are designed to be difficult for anyone but to get off,” I told her.

“Oh, fine. You did swear, after all. I just thought I’d take advantage while you were still all tied up, and I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have minded.” She waved her hands, and the vines peeled off , one at a ti. It took a whole minute before they were all off.

“Those kinds of gas require a lot of trust,” I said. I adjusted the shorts, tugging them up so that they covered .

“Why wouldn’t you trust ?” she asked, looking up at with an injured expression.

“Because you grabbed and tied up before you even talked to ?”

“Because you destroyed a ton of plants before you even talked to ! Besides, you also made a huge amount of noise doing it. It frightened the squirrels.”

As beautiful as she was, I was not going to accept an angry blow job. I’d be worried about teeth the whole ti. “I consider our deal to be sealed. Although, if you wanted a kiss?”

“Kiss? But that’s so intimate.”

And trying to take my pants off wasn’t? “As you wish. We don’t have to, but you know, it might help have sothing to look forward to when I return.”

She tilted her head. “That was why I was going to suck your cock and leave you right on the edge of orgasm. But we can do the other.”

She wrapped her arms around and tilted her face up. I kissed her, intending to keep it gentle, but she slipped her tongue into my mouth so I did the sa. I was aware of her soft breasts squishing against mine. It took us several minutes before we stopped for air.

Now! Life Drain!

“See what my tongue can do?” she said.

I grinned, ignoring Enash. “Better than chocolate.”

“Liar!” she said, stepping back. “All n are liars.” She frowned, and then added. “But at least you told a sweet lie. Hurry back.”

“It might not be until tomorrow. I don’t know how long it will take .” I’d spotted a convenience store just two blocks away from my new place, but I didn’t want to make it seem too easy to get.

“Whenever you co, just, um, make one of those loud noises. But without hurting the forest! The squirrels will hear, and they’ll get , because that awful noise frightens them.”

I nodded, assuming she ant the sounds of the chainsaw or the line trimr. I kissed her lightly again. “I’ll see you soon, Xyla.”

“You better, Abela-abby.”

“Just Abby.”

“Oh. Abby is short for Abel, then? Abby is a much better na.” She looked up and down. “All those curves, and such a big cock. If only that chocolate wasn’t so good, I’d never let you go.” She frowned. “Except that I’m a better dryad than that.”

She watched as I picked up the weed whacker and walked away. I glanced over my shoulder and saw that she was following at a distance. I couldn’t stop her from seeing go into the crypt, which ant at least one person knew where I lived. But after I pushed my way through the doors, I bolted them, and took a deep breath.

God, she was sexy. And dangerous.

That only made her sexier.

By the ti I changed my clothes, climbed the ladder, and pulled myself up the rope into my basent, the sun had started to set, and I’d made hardly any progress on the house. The project I’d been so excited about a few days ago was on the back burner, and I didn’t love that.

But I couldn’t get the world I’d discovered out of my mind, and especially, I couldn’t get Xyla out of my mind. Had I really said no to a blowjob from her? But restrained by her vines, it would have landed differently, sohow. If she’d offered again after I’d freed her, I would have taken her up on it. I’d just t her, but I’d had one-night stands before. Most of my relationships weren’t full-on, but that didn’t an I intended to be celibate. And I wanted to take my new body for a spin.

But on my terms.

I peeled off so more wallpaper, hung so curtains, and planed the bottom of the door that needed fixing.

After dark I went out and bought a few different kinds of chocolate bars, and dropped by the hardware store to get so slats to make a rope ladder out of. Then I took the vacuum cleaner into the mausoleum to get the dust on the floor. That was totally not because I wanted to spend a few more minutes as Abby, and maybe touch myself so.

Cleaning house. Won’s work. You should get a slave to do that.

Yeah, right. My private mont wouldn’t be so private. I supposed I’d get used to that, at so point.

I went back up and assembled the bed. At least I’d get a better night’s sleep than on the air mattress.

But I didn’t. I lay wide awake, thinking of what I’d found outside. Of Xyla. Of her going down on . Of her hands on my breasts, and mine on hers. I jerked off, wanting to take advantage of the post orgasmic haze to fall asleep, but that didn’t help, either.

Finally, I gave up. Knowing I was going to regret it in the morning, I went back into the basent and through the puzzle. I wore just a loose sweatshirt that I often slept in, and underwear, and put on Abby’s shorts and shoes when I got to the tomb. Of course, I’d also brought chocolate.

I glanced around. The place had nice, solid walls, even if the engravings were a bit strange, showing various battles involving undead armies and an imperious skeletal figure who was presumably Enash. Cover those up with a little wood paneling, and the place might look almost hoy, although windows would help a lot. Without windows, though, the place was a fortress with only one way in, and maybe that was best given that it guarded the gate to Earth.

I opened the doors and walked outside. Everything was pretty much as I left it, except that it was night in Xyla’s world just as it was on Earth. Fortunately, I had a flashlight. I revved the line trimr and sat down on what I took to be the ruins of the guard tower to wait for Xyla to appear.

I was almost ready to give up, figuring she was sleeping, when the trees rustled. Presumably that ant she was approaching, although I didn’t rember any noise warning before she started wrapping up, last ti.

But instead, the brambles parted, making a path where there hadn’t been before. Fireflies lit the path, making my flashlight unnecessary to see which way to go. I breathed in the fresh evening air of the forest, including so sweet-slling flowers. The invitation was obvious, but it made uneasy. Xyla wanted further away from ho, perhaps in a place she had more power. I thought about the danger, but I still had several cards up my sleeve. As far as I could tell, I could cast Dinsion Step repeatedly if I needed to, and she didn’t know about it because I hadn’t used it to escape. It only caused a headache when I tried to use it to go up into my basent.

I couldn’t turn down adventure. I set out along the path that opened up for , past brush and trees. Despite the fireflies, I used my flashlight, because I didn’t want to trip on anything, and because I wanted to see the strange new world as I went deeper into it than I had before. I saw several trees that looked like they were so kind of fern. I spotted another one of the green squirrels, and this one stopped to stare at for a good second before running away.

After a quarter of a mile or so, the path widened into a clearing. There, on a bed of leaves, lay Xyla. Around her various flowers blood in an almost perfect circle. A garland of flowers in her dark green hair, and three green leaves, one for each breast and the other at the junction of her legs, were all she wore. She was propped up on one elbow, watching .

“Hi there,” she said.

“Well, hi yourself.”

“I didn’t expect you to co at night. When soone endowed like you reaches out for a woman at night, she’s allowed to have so expectations. Especially if she has told her she finds her attractive. It is she, isn’t it?”

I hadn’t given it much thought. I suppose — well, there was only one part of Abby that was male. Two, counting her brain.

I went with it. “Sure. She. Of course I find you attractive. Who wouldn’t?” Xyla had the body of a swimsuit model, except for being green with green hair. And those just made her look exotic.

“I did so thinking.”

“And?”

“I thought I couldn’t believe that I let you get away from .”