"Ava."
My head feels like it weighs a million pounds. My ears feel stuffed and woolly. And Kellan's hands dragging to my feet are like burning embers pressed against my skin.
"What?"
"You passed out."
Staring at him blankly, it takes a while for my brain to catch up to his words. "Oh. Shit." I guess that's one way to deal with stress; just let your body shut down.
Don't really recomnd it.
Kellan doesn't ask questions about my visit with Lucas, just escorts back to the cottage and makes sure I'm taken care of. Brings lunch I don't want to eat and promises to check on in another hour or two.
Of course, lunch is out of the question. My stomach's too queasy for that. And until Sister Miriam and Selene return, I don't have a great way to get information on what happened to Lucas' wolf. I'm definitely not going to tell people he doesn't have one; the pack needs stability, not another blow.
I'm not even sure Kellan knows.
The thought that Lucas may have trusted with a little secret buoys my depressed spirits by a milliter or two.
Maybe, even if he can't feel it, there's a part of him wanting to trust . Knowing I'm his mate.
Even if he doesn't want to see for the rest of the day.
Fuck.
It's like the bill for all the ti he spent waiting patiently for , delivered express mail with cash on delivery. Now it's my turn to wait and trust and hope.
Water cascades over my skin, hot enough to turn it pink. It's my second shower in hours, but I can't shake the depression clinging to like second skin. Steam fills the bathroom.
I scrub hard, until my skin is raw and angry red, as if I can wash away the mory of Lucas staring at like a stranger.
It doesn't work.
Eventually, the hot water runs out. Dressing in the clothes I was just wearing—they're still clean—I flop onto the bed.
Sleep. That's what I need. Just a few hours to reset my brain and maybe wake up and find this has all been so twisted nightmare.
My damp hair leaves wet spots on the pillow, leaving them for to discover as I flop from left to right, then from belly to back, struggling to find a position that brings comfort.
No matter how tightly I screw my eyes shut, sleep doesn't co. Instead, there's a constant replay in my mind, of every mont of my encounter with Lucas. The confusion in his eyes. The way he spoke like none of our history involved him at all.
The sheets tangle around my legs as I flip from side to side. Minutes stretch into what feels like hours. My eyes burn with unshed tears and exhaustion.
A soft knock at the door startles from my restless attempt at sleep. Before I can respond, the door creaks open.
"Ava?" Vanessa's gentle voice calls out.
I'm on my feet in an instant, practically flying across the room and into her arms.
I hadn't realized how desperately I needed human contact until this mont. The solitude of the past few hours weighs on , making Vanessa's presence a lifeline I cling to.
"Oh, sweetie," she murmurs, rubbing soothing circles on my back.
I pull back, wiping at my eyes. "Sorry, I just... it's been a rough day."
Vanessa's face is grim as she asks, "How are you holding up?"
"Honestly? Not great," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. "How much do you know?"
Her eyes dart to the side before eting mine again. "About Alpha, you an?"
I nod, holding my breath.
Vanessa's gaze flicks to the front door, then to the windows. Her voice rises slightly as she says, "I'm so glad he's doing well. Such a relief to see him up and about."
Confusion furrows my brow until she pulls a small notebook from her pocket. She scribbles sothing quickly, then turns it so I can read: I know about his mory loss.
My eyes widen. Of course. We're being watched, listened to. There might even be a traitor sowhere. We can't talk about his situation openly.
Vanessa's voice is unnaturally cheerful as she asks, "Did you break down crying out of sheer relief in the hallway? I heard rumors flying around already."
The hint isn't subtle, but I'm grateful for it. I nod, forcing a weak smile. "Yeah, I was just so overwheld seeing he was okay. I guess my body finally decided it was safe to shut down for so much-needed rest."
"That's understandable," Vanessa says, patting my arm. "It's been a stressful ti for everyone, especially you."
The bedroom is the farthest room from the door and nosey ears, so we head there.
I sink back onto the bed, suddenly feeling drained as I grab her pen to write my own words. He doesn't rember at all.
She sits beside . The delay in conversation gives ti to think as she writes. Give it ti. Head injuries are tricky. The important thing is he's alive and recovering.
Vanessa pulls into another hug, whispering so softly I can barely hear her, "We'll figure this out. You're not alone."
When she pulls back, her smile is bright but her eyes are serious. "Now, have you eaten? Kellan says you aren't eating much."
My stomach's still in knots, and the thought of food makes queasy. "I'm not really—"
Vanessa goes still, her eyes growing unfocused. What now?
After a mont, she blinks, refocusing on . A smile spreads across her face. "There are new arrivals."
I stiffen, hope and fear warring in my chest. "Is it—" My voice cracks. I swallow hard and try again. "Is it Lisa?"
"It might be," Vanessa says, her smile widening. "Co on, let's go see."
We're out the door in seconds, my exhaustion forgotten. I forget even to put on boots, my bare feet pounding against the grass as we rush to the scene.
All I can think about is Lisa.
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