"Ava?"
Disoriented after returning to Lisa's apartnt, I can only blink as Lucas steps inside, looking concerned.
"Hi." The greeting feels stilted, but I'm still regaining my bearings.
There's sothing about Sister Miriam's talk about paynt that bothers my mind, trying to pry loose so mory—but I shove it aside, needing to focus on the man in front of .
It's dark in the apartnt, but the TV is still going. Selene shakes herself before heading to the couch, leaving with the soft impression of her presence in my head.
"You didn't answer your phone," Lucas explains, looking a little awkward as he stands there in the doorway.
"I didn't hear it." Now that he's in front of , the idea of telling him everything… Is a lot harder.
It isn't that I don't want to, but that it's just—how do you even approach this kind of conversation? Especially knowing how much responsibility weighs on his shoulders.
But leaving him in the dark isn't an option.
"I brought dinner." But his hands are empty, which he only seems to realize at this mont. "Shit. I left it in the car."
"I'm not hungry," I'm quick to assure him, my stomach curdling at the thought of even adding a single sip of water to it. "You can get it if you're hungry though. And eat here."
"I'm not hungry, either."
When Lucas continues to stand there like an awkward teenager, my lips twitch.
"Co in." I'm the one to step toward him, grabbing his hand.
He slides his fingers between mine imdiately, grasping on like he never wants to let go.
How did I ever doubt this man?
There were reasons, Selene mutters in the back of my head. But I don't think they matter to you anymore.
He follows to the couch like a puppy, and I have to stifle a laugh when he stands there, not sure where to sit.
Tugging him down beside , I let our linked hands fall between us. Selene scoots into the corner of the couch with a little side-eye, but she gives a slight tail wag to Lucas when he glances in her direction.
"Are you doing okay?"
"Not at all," I answer cheerfully, and my eyes widen at the blunt honestly coming out of my mouth.
Lucas watches with concern. Probably because of how happy I sound while admitting to not doing well.
I'd be concerned, too. Hell, I am concerned.
The food, Selene reminds , and I stiffen.
Shit.
I can't speak any untruths when I've eaten Fae food. Isn't that what Sister Miriam said?
"What's wrong?" he asks, and I groan internally even as my mouth takes off without permission.
"I'm feeling horribly guilty over Lisa being kidnapped, because it's my fault. I talked to Sister Miriam behind your back, and didn't tell you everything. I have too many secrets and don't know how to begin explaining them all to you—"
Lucas presses his hand over my mouth, his eyes narrowing as he yanks his hand out of mine. The force of his glare is intense, causing my heart to thump wildly in my chest.
"Who the fuck are you? Where's Ava?"
"I'm Ava," I try to say, but his hand muffles the words.
I tap at his hand, and he loosens his grip on my face just a little.
"I'm Ava," I say again.
He shakes his head. "No. Ava doesn't talk like this. She doesn't trust enough to share her secrets. Who are you? What did you do to her?"
There's a low growl to his words, and Selene air snaps in his direction, her hackles up.
"It's ," I sigh. "I'm not talking like this out of my own will. I am, for the ti being, unable to lie." Scowling, I smack his hand away. "Which apparently ans I have no filter."
The fury in his face fades to confusion. "How is this—"
"It's possible because Sister Miriam apparently has a thing for feeding Fae food to people. Don't ask what Fae food is, because I don't know. She already told off for eating food she gave without being more suspicious. Stop looking at like that; it's making feel stupid."
"Sorry."
I swear I can see his brain working to sort through everything I've thrown at him, and I pinch my thigh, hard, in hopes the pain gets through this stupid fucking problem I have now with truth.
I didn't have this level of diarrhea of the mouth with Sister Miriam, so why is it coming out with Lucas?
Because you don't want any secrets, Selene offers, sounding rather grumpy. Your subconscious is probably helping this along.
Great.
Just fan-fucking-tastic.
Now he's going to think I'm crazy on top of all the other issues I have.
"No, I'm not."
Shit, I said that last part out loud.
"Yeah, you did." He grabs my hand, every word soft. Too soft. Too gentle. Too sweet. "Now, Ava. Explain what you an when you say you talked to Sister Miriam.
This doesn't sound like it happened over the phone."
Damn.
Now you're in trouble, Selene remarks, content to stay on her end of the couch for this conversation.
I concentrate hard on the words I speak, fighting against the compulsion to spill every little detail. "Sister Miriam left instructions on how to reach her, if I ever wanted to. Apparently—"
The words get stuck in my throat. I want to say, apparently she has the power to bring to her location, but it won't co out.
That dhampir said you were the one who ca, with your own power, Selene reminds , ever helpful.
Damn it.
How am I supposed to explain this away before dropping the giant secret about my powers?
"Ava," Lucas says again, with that deceptively gentle smile on his face. "Apparently what?"
"Apparently she knew of a way to transcend space and ti," I mutter.
"Transcend space and ti," he repeats, his voice getting quieter. "And this sohow allowed you to eat food together?"
"Yes."
I fight the itch in my lips to say more.
Of course I want to explain this to him. But I'd rather explain it on my own terms. In my own words. Not like this.
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