AARYN
Around him, the WildWood still echoed with the howls of mourning that the tribe raised to honor the sadness of their brethren. Whether they knew it or not, they sang for him.
Every goosebumped part of Aaryn shook, trembled. It seed as if the very dirt under his feet vibrated with his grief.
He couldn't take his eyes off the last spot he'd seen her, that near-white fur flashing between the green of the leaves and the brown of the forest floor.
He was held, captivated, a creeping hope that she would re-erge. That he'd find out this had all be so kind of elaborate joke. Or that he had gotten through to her and she'd changed her mind and returned to him.
But she didn't turn.
.
She didn't co back.
She didn't suddenly appear.
Yet he still couldn't move.
Then, from nowhere, a soft hand appeared on his shoulder, accompanied by the scent of his mate. And Aaryn realized where his heart was and what he needed.
He turned to face her, to find her staring up at him, her own face pale and lined with grief. He put a shaking hand to her face. "Thank you for staying with ."
She shook her head. "I don't ever want to be anywhere else," she whispered through her tears. And her tears sohow soothed the pain in his chest.
He wasn't the only one who grieved.
He wasn't the only one who understood what had just happened.
Even though all of his family was gone, he wasn't alone.
"What do you need right now?" she asked him carefully. "How can I help?"
Aaryn blinked and looked around. The sounds of the Anima—the City still coming alive. The market kitchen slls were drifting through the air and the distant sounds of people enjoying their breakfasts…
Was it really only breakfast ti?
"I think," he croaked, then cleared his throat. "I think I'd really like to go ho."
Elreth nodded and took his hand and turning him back down the trail. When they'd gotten past his tree, she started to take the tiny path that ran to his door, and he stopped and pulled her back. "No, El," he said.
She turned and looked at him, her forehead lined with concern.
"Our ho," he clarified. "I want to go to our ho. That's ho. You're my ho. You always have been. But even more so now… I want to be with you and just… be at ho."
Her lips pressed thin in a half-smile, half-cry. But she nodded and took his hand in both of hers and they started back down the trail to where the paths would turn for the Royal adow.
They walked silently, their bare feet making no real noise on the forest trail. Neither of them spoke. But he felt her. He felt her loving him and caring, and being shocked and angry and all the things he was feeling too.
He felt her wishing it was different. And he felt her wanting to do the right thing.
And he loved her for it. No matter what, she would always want what was right for him—and he for her.
Fuck, he was blessed.
The next few months were going to be hell. He couldn't imagine if he'd had to go through them without her.
Pulling her closer to his side, he looked down at her and realized her face was blurred by his tears. Embarrassed, he knuckled them away with his free hand. But she didn't say anything, just rested her head on his arm.
It wasn't until they were all the way through the wood and erging at the Royal adow that he rembered his conversation with Reth and Elia—that Tarkyn had witnessed. His stomach, which he'd thought was already in his toes, sank further.
"What is it?" Elreth whispered.
He swallowed. "I kinda confronted your dad earlier. I thought… I thought he'd told my mom that I didn't need her anymore."
Elreth's mouth fell open. "He'd never do that!"
Aaryn huffed. "Not on purpose," he said darkly. "But you have to admit, he kind of thinks he's the best answer to every question. And sotis if he's talking that way to soone who doesn't feel confident or, or they're ashad, or whatever…"
Elreth was quiet, then she nodded. "I hope it wasn't like that," she said. "But I'm sure, even if it was, he didn't an it that way, Aaryn."
"I know. And to be honest, I don't think he did that to her. I think… I think she was looking for reassurance that I'd be okay if she was gone. I'm guessing he gave it to her without realizing that's what he was doing. I an, she's obviously been thinking about this for a while, right?"
They both passed her parent's Tree House without turning. "I'll talk to him later," Aaryn said quietly. "I just really want to rest right now."
"Good idea," Elreth said. She sped up, tugging him to follow her. "We need so ti to ourselves."
Aaryn frowned. "Wait, I just realized… aren't you supposed to be with the elders right now?"
They were passing into the cave mouth and Elreth opened the door into the cave and turned to bar it behind them before she answered.
Aaryn stood, watching her carefully. Was she putting herself, or the Kingdom at risk to be there with him?
"I got so really good advice this morning," she said when she turned and took both his hands. "And it's sothing I'm going to try and listen to every day for the rest of my life."
"What was that?"
"Well, the first part was that if you needed —or I needed you—that we shouldn't ever let the politics co between that. That I should go to you and deal with whatever was needed by you. That if there was sothing that absolutely needed , I could trust them to let know."
Aaryn nodded and a little knot of tension in his chest unraveled. "Okay, sounds good. Was the other part?"
"The other part just ca from my heart," she said quietly, wrapping her arms around his waist as she looked up into his face. "I saw it when I was watching you have to say goodbye to your mom," she admitted, watching him carefully.
"What was that?"
She swallowed. "I realized that sotis I took you for granted, Aaryn. You've always been there for . Always. Since I was a kid. And I realized that I'll never enjoy being Queen, being Dominant, if I lose you. That if you and I aren't strong, that the rest just becos sothing I do. So… so I'm going to try and make sure I start every day loving you, and end it loving you more," she said. "If I ever lost you, I don't want to have thoughts like Delarys had. I don't want to regret the way I loved, or how much I gave. I want to know that if sothing happened to , you'd walk on knowing how much I loved you."
He shook his head in awe and pulled her into his chest. "Thank you," he rasped.
"I love you, Aaryn. So much. I'm so sorry you have to go through this."
"I am too. I wish… I wish it didn't happen this way. But I realized sothing this morning too," he said, pulling far enough away to et her eyes. "It would have been worse to lose you," he admitted slowly. "So, I've still got a whole lot to be grateful for."
They fell into each other's arms and didn't let go for a very long ti.
*****
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