Taboo Journal Novel Chapter of Soul Expansion: The Foolish Soul

Red.

That was my first impression. A deep red. Look to the left and you could see red. Look to the right and you would still see red. It was everywhere. Every building was built with red clinker bricks. Even the pavent was red. And yet, despite it being everywhere, it wasn't overwhelming.

"That's a lot of... red," comnted Karen, her gaze sweeping from left to right.

"Nn. It's red."

"It really is red."

The three of us surveyed the townscape. The door we left through led us straight onto the main street, right next to the gate. Maybe because it was morning but it wasn't crowded. It wasn't entirely empty either, though. A good amount of people were still walking along the streets towards their respective destinations. The few carriages that ca through the gate disappeared sowhere in the distance.

"It's really different from Arkesta or Aldras."

"Aldras?"

"Aldreigh's capital."

"Ohh."

I wondered what that one looked like. I hadn't seen Arkesta from the inside either, but the outside already wasn't pretty. It was dark if I had to describe it. On the other hand, this city was bright. Bright red...

"Let's wait for Lily and the girls. It shouldn't take long, probably," suggested Karen."

"Nn."

"Okay, Big Sis!"

We walked towards a nearby street corner from where we could overlook the gate. It didn't take us long to locate Lily either. It was nearly their turn now. It was an odd sight, Lily surrounded by four girls. Like a group of young girls that were out to play with their guardian.

Nn? Four?

"Sis, is that Lefa?"

"Mh? Oh, you're right. I guess those boys behind them are the other students then?"

Unfortunately, I couldn't really see what was behind the girls, so I couldn't affirm whether it was them. Although it stood to reason that the two boys and their professor were there. Then again, maybe their professor wouldn't be able to handle this?

"Oh, it's Lily's turn now."

"Nn, seems like it."

Lily talked with the guard in charge for a minute or so and then they were left through. It really was simple. I kind of expected so sort of entrance or exit fee or so intensive interview. The guard was already fixated on the next group, though.

Karen waved towards Lily. After a short look around, she spotted us and walked over with the other girls in tow.

"That went a lot smoother than I expected to be honest. I half feared that we would get held up for so reason."

Such was Lily's first comnt. I could sohow relate, as I was a little surprised as well at how smoothly it went as well. Things like this usually never went smoothly, did they?

"Lily, what did the guard ask you?"

"Just so boring stuff. 'Why are you here?' 'Where are you from?' Such things."

"Hmm. Well, as long as nothing is wrong. So, those three..."

Karen looked past Lily, at the three little ones. They were kind of engrossed in the buildings. We weren't the only ones who were in awe at the reddish scenery, at least.

Karen and Lily both smiled warmly at their reactions.

"How about we leisurely walk towards the market? It's a little walk, so we can look at the buildings and the scenery for a while," suggested Lily.

"If you know where that market is."

"Just leave it to ! Follow !"

With enthusiasm, Lily took the lead. It took a mont for Emily and them to register that we would move on. They hurried behind Lily and continued staring at the various buildings while walking. Hopefully, they wouldn't run into other people by accident.

"I wonder why are the buildings so red... I haven't seen stones like that before."

Karen touched a building's wall, feeling the red bricks.

"The bricks?"

"Yes. Lily, do you know why?"

"Why they are red, you an? I have no idea. I only know that they are made from so kind of clay I think? Burnt in a furnace."

"Is that so..."

Karen took a glance and Lily and then turned back to the wall where her hand was still brushing along the bricks. She was quite taken by the view. Understandable, though. I glanced along the buildings and then at the blue sky. Despite being a capital it was surprisingly quiet.

"I kind of expected it to be more crowded. It's a capital after all," I wondered out loud.

There were maybe two or three dozen people at most on the streets. It wasn't empty by all ans. But... It wasn't even remotely what I had imagined.

"Well, today is the first day of the new season, so they are probably... Oh... Right. Yumi! Co here for a second!"

"Nn? Wah?! What are you doing, Lily?"

Lily suddenly stopped, turned around and pulled

away to the side. Then she bowed down and whispered sothing in my ear. Everyone else stared at us curiously, surprised at Lily's sudden actions.

But I was glad Lily did this. Because what she told

was certainly important. It would've been a problem if I hadn't known this. Or rather, I knew a little about it, but it had completely slipped my mind. There had been too many other things on my mind.

"Nn, thank you for telling , Lily."

"Hehe, no problem! Now go."

"Nn."

I walked over to Karen, who was tilting her head, not knowing what was going on. I couldn't help but smile a little, looking forward to her reaction. Then I bowed to her with a smile.

"I wish you all the best for the coming year, that we may be together for a long ti to co and that the moon and the gods may bless you with happiness and good health. Congratulations!"

"Eh?"

Karen stared at , dumbfounded. It took a mont for her to register what I had said, averting her gaze awkwardly.

"Eh, uh, uhm... Tha-, Thank you... Yumi..."

"Nn."

She started fidgeting, glancing left and right. Her cheeks also reddened. It took a little before she recovered. Her expression turned a little sad, but her lips ford a small smile despite that.

"It... has been a long ti... since soone congratulated ..."

"... Is that so?"

"Yes."

She looked up at

and ruffled my hair. The small smile turned into a wide, toothy grin.

"Thank you, Yumi."

"Nn."

She might not have gotten any congratulations in the past years, but from now on, I would make sure she would. I had to. Every year, I would make sure to congratulate her.

"Karen. Congratulations from

too."

"Thank you, Lily."

Lily walked up to Karen and congratulated her.

"Big Sis Karen! Congratulations! Congratulations!"

"Congratulations."

"... Congra... tulation..."

"Thank you, Emily, Maya, Sele. Thank you."

The three little ones ca over and congratulated her as well.

"Big Sis."

"Rina?"

The last girl slowly walked up to Karen, a little fidgety. Then she took a deep breath... and jumped into Karen's arms.

"Congratulation. A lot of congratulations, for all the years I couldn't tell you. Congratulation!"

Karen's eyes widened, small tears gathering in her eyes. She put her arms around Rina and squeezed her.

"Thank you, Miria."

"Big Sis, it's Rina! Rina!"

"Ah, right. Right, thank you, Rina. Thank you."

A bright smile blood on both of the sisters' faces, hugging each other closely.

For years they had been unable to et each other... But now...

I hope, I hope it will stay like this... for a long, long ti. I hope they won't be separated anymore.

I gazed at the clear, blue sky. The happy laughter of young girls echoed through the streets.

Around half an earth hour later, we arrived at the market. Compared to the main road, it was actually quite a bustling place. Dozens over dozens of people, mostly beastkin, walked around, scoured the stalls and haggled with the respective owners.

"This is the market? It's... huge."

"As expected of the first day of the new season. It's crowded," said Lily.

"Nn, the first day of the new season. Is that a special day?"

"It is. With the first day of the month, the sumr season starts now. Many places celebrate at this ti to welco the sumr and the second half of the year."

"Huh..."

"Well, regardless of that, let's look for so food stalls or similar. I want sothing other than jerky in my stomach."

Yes, that was a good idea. I full-heartedly agreed. Jerky wasn't a sufficient breakfast. Not in the least.

"A food stall. What kind of food stall should we look for, then?" asked Karen.

"Mh, anything that has sothing we can eat right now."

"That... might be hard."

From the looks of it, most stalls only sold a few products related to their trade. A butcher would mostly sell at while a baker would, of course, sell bread. Much to my surprise I even saw a stall selling fish. And even a stall with honey products. So bees existed here.

Still, how did the fish and at stalls cool their food? Wouldn't it go bad? Like this?

"Oh, I think I found sothing."

Lily pointed at a stall a little away. I couldn't see anything through the crowd, so I had no idea what she actually found.

Once more, Lily took the lead and led us to a peculiar stall.

"Excuse , are those Larfas Rolls?"

"Oh? Yes, they are, young miss," answered the man from the stall with a wide smile, showing his teeth.

I took a look at the basket Lily was pointing at.

"Lily, what are those?"

"Mh? It's a puff pastry with minced at inside. It's delicious and you can eat it on the spot."

"Ohh."

That certainly sounded good.

"Are we fine with this then?" asked Karen the other girls.

They quickly agreed, the three little ones peeking at the basket.

Emily, you're drooling...

A few minutes later we stood a little away in a quiet corner, each of us with the peculiar pastry in hand.

"This is... quite delicious."

"Nn, it is."

It already looked delicious but much to my surprise it was even better than I had expected. Still a little warm, you could really feel how the baker put all their heart into it. Or maybe the butcher? I didn't really take a look at the other things the stall had to offer...

"Still, was that fine, Lily? Three silver coins were quite a lot."

"We got one for free, so I don't think it's too bad of a deal, Karen. And it's hard to get them outside the festival. Why not indulge a little today?"

"If you say so..."

Despite what she said, Karen was still eating it with glee. The pastry was also popular among Emily and the girls as well. They were downright devouring the poor pastry. And as such, it didn't take long for them before it was gone. I was a little impressed by their voracious appetite... I hadn't even gone through half the pastry...

Barely a minute later Karen and I were the only ones left with a pastry in our hands...

"Well then, since we're all together... We should talk about what we're doing from now on, in the future."

Lily licked her fingers clean while bringing up the rather unpleasant topic. She probably knew as well that none of us really wanted to think about it now... But we couldn't just avoid it either... The longer we delayed it, the harder it'd be to talk about it.

Karen looked a little reluctant to say anything while Rina was completely indifferent. As if she didn't even care. Maybe she really didn't.

Much to my surprise, Emily wasn't really reacting much either. It was mainly Maya and Sele who looked down, depressed.

"We have roughly two choices. Either we stay with the rcenaries or we try to live on our own. Staying with the rcenaries cos with many risks. Such as battle, constant travelling and danger and such things. The pay is quite good, though."

Although I was fairly certain she had said before that the pay for the magicians was quite bad... Well, that was neither here nor there right now.

"On the other hand, if we don't, we have to find so other work, work that pays well enough that we can live from it. But, while Lafria isn't as bad as most countries, it might still be hard for won to find work on their own."

"Ah, but didn't Yumi get that letter from Mr Captain?" asked Karen.

"That's right but whether it would work out is a different matter, isn't it? To be honest, while working at the Academy is actually quite a great offer, I'd rather avoid them. Because of Yumi and Emily."

"Us?"

I tilted my head curiously.

"The Academy's researchers are... an eccentric bunch. And it'd be impossible to hide your nature from them for long. Not to ntion that Emily would get found out even faster."

"Oh..."

Right, both of us were, in the truest sense, rather rare... specins. The thought made

shudder a little. I didn't want to beco a lab rat.

"But it's an option at least. If we can't find anything else..." added Karen.

"It is, but before we even get to that we still have to decide what we are going to do first. No use in discussing it if we aren't even going to look for work."

Lily stared intently at the pastry in my hand. Was she still hungry? This one was mine, though.

"There are many things we'd have to consider if we try to find work by ourselves. It'd be possible to find live-in work as a servant or sothing but that's not really what we want. If we all split up, that'd defeat the purpose."

"So we have to find so other kind of work... But where?"

Karen also finished her pastry, leaving

as the only one who was still nibbling on it.

"We might find work at a bakery or butcher, to sell things. That might work temporarily only, though, I don't think that's going to work for long."

"Mh... But then, what other work is there? Outside the Academy..."

"The options are limited, but we might find sothing for magicians and... Mh? Maya?"

At so point, Maya walked up to Lily and Karen. She looked down, grabbing Lily's sleeve and shaking a little.

"Maya? Is sothing wrong?"

Lily squatted down a little, lowering herself to Maya's eyesight.

"Are... Are we... going to leave... Uncle behind?"

"That's... Well..."

Lily glanced over at Karen and . She was troubled by Maya's question.

"We're not really leaving him behind, you see. It's just that he wants you all to live a safer, better life. You can still see them when they are back."

"Will they... Will they co back?"

"They're rcenaries, they won't just go off and die, you know. They'll be fine."

Maya was still grabbing onto Lily's clothes, now with both her hands. She shook her head, still looking down. Lily smiled wryly and pat her head, gently.

"They... They said that... too..."

"They?"

Suddenly, Maya let go of Lily's clothes and took a step back. She was still shaking, tears in her eyes.

"I... I don't want that! I! I'll go to them! I'll go with them!"

Maya raised her voice, shouting at us. She turned around, running off into the distance.

"Wa-, Wait, Maya?! Hey!"

"Ah, Maya! Wait!"

"..."

Emily and Sele imdiately stord after Maya, disappearing into the crowd and leaving us completely dumbfounded.

It took a little until we processed what just happened.

"Ahh! Isn't that bad?! We have to find them. Ah, where to—"

Lily raised her voice as well, looking left and right in a panic. Alas, the crowd was completely blocking her view.

"Lily, calm down. They won't get far alone, calm down."

"But, Karen!"

"Lily!"

"Ouch!"

Karen bonked Lily's head. That was definitely a sound a head shouldn't make...

"Let's look for them, okay? I'm worried as well, but we should've run imdiately after them. We missed that chance, so we have to search carefully. Let's et up here later. In an hour and a half, okay? If we don't find them by then we'll ask the city's guards. Also, one of us should check with the Black Guards too."

"..."

Lily nodded ekly. Calming down as well.

"You're calm as ever, aren't you..."

"I'm not calm, Lily. But it would defeat the purpose if we just run after them in a panic and get lost too, right?"

"Ahh... You're right. I'm sorry."

Karen smiled and patted Lily's head. She then turned to Rina and .

"Let's split up, will you two be fine on your own?"

"Yes, Big Sis, no worries!"

"Nn..."

I nodded while Rina, full of energy, affird her question. Albeit, Karen furrowed her eyebrows, clearly not quite believing us.

"I just hope we won't have any more lost children. Ahh, but we need to find those girls. Haa... Lily, can you go to the Black Guards then and tell them about this?"

"... Okay."

Lily finally recovered her calm.

"Karen, the longer we wait, the further they'll get."

"Mh... I guess you're right... Okay, let's go. We'll et up back here in an hour and a half, okay?"

"Nn."

"Yes!"

Just where the heck did they disappear to...

It had been around half an earth hour already since I began searching for Maya and the others. Outside of simply walking around and maybe asking the occasional passerby, I had plenty of ti to think a little.

I know that Maya is attached to the captain and the other rcenaries, but...

At first, I thought that it was maybe about her parents, but...

The captain told

her parents died when she was really young, so it's unlikely it's about them...

There weren't really many other scenarios I could think of. Regardless of what it was, though, she was clearly upset.

I let out a sigh. The more I thought about it, the less likely I would co to a conclusion. I would just have to ask her. But for that, I'd need to find her first.

"Still... Where the hell am I?"

I was lost. I wasn't proud of it by all ans, but I had completely lost my orientation, just as Karen had feared. The red buildings were just too distracting. They did look great, though. Wherever I was right now, the owners put in a lot of effort at keeping the scenery pretty. Every house had a small garden, a line of trees was lined up along the road and each building was lovingly decorated. Not one house looked like the other. There was also a fresh, comfortable sll wafting through the street.

"I wish I could take my ti here... Haa... Ah, excuse ."

A middle-aged housewife entered my sight so I called out to her. I told her about the three girls I was looking for and described them.

"Your playmates? I think I saw girls fitting those descriptions. Around the park."

"Park?"

"Oh my, you don't know? There's a large public park ahead. It's a great place for playing around. I'm sure you'd find many friends there."

The woman smiled warmly at .

"Haa, thank you very much."

I nodded at her and said goodbye.

Hopefully, they really are there...

Shortly after, I arrived at a large wall with a gate Peeking through the gate I saw a adow and trees here and there. And despite being surrounded by a large stone wall, the gate was wide open and occasionally so people or children would enter or leave.

A large sign was hanging next to the gate.

"The Gethmann's Garden? I guess it really is a park?"

I was a little unsure whether it was really fine to just enter. Alas, there were plenty of people not bothering in the least, so it was probably fine.

And so, I walked through the gate and entered the park.

"Ohh, this is quite big, isn't it? Mh, if Maya and the girls really are here, where should I even start looking?"

The large adow spread out in front of . Quite many people were around, standing together and making rry. They seed to celebrate sothing.

Maybe a birthday... I an, a birth month party? Might be. Or maybe because it is the first day of the new season? Lily said it was an important day, after all.

Whichever was the case, I didn't have the leisure to wonder about it now

Once more, I asked a woman passing by , describing the three to her.

"My, yes. I just saw three girls fitting that description down the road. They seed a little down so I gave them so candy. Here, do you want one too?"

"Ah, thank you..."

The woman put a small piece of brown candy in my hands with a smile. Then she walked past , waving once more.

And now I got so candy. I popped it into my mouth and a sweet taste spread through my mouth.

Delicious. Thank you.

I thanked the woman once more in my mind and then continued down the road. A few minutes later, I saw a group of three girls, huddled together on what seed like a bench facing the adow.

"Haa, found them, huh? That's great."

Emily and Sele sat on each Maya's sides. Or rather, Emily was hugging Maya and patting her back. She was comforting her, wasn't she...

Uhh, what do I do now? Should I just walk over to them?

Hesitant as I was, I kept standing a little ways off. I didn't really attempt to hide, though, so it didn't take long for Sele to spot . As expected of her...

She stood up and pulled on Emily, who let go of Maya. They said sothing to Maya and then the two stood up, dashing over to . Was it really fine to let Maya alone right now? Don't leave the poor girl alone...

"Yumi. Yumi, you're here."

"Nn, I am, Emily. Is... Is Maya alright?"

"Uhh..."

Emily's expression told

that she wasn't alright.

"Yumi, could you, maybe, talk with Maya? She's... She didn't an anything bad. Just... Uhh..."

"Nn? Ahh... I'm not mad, Emily."

I pat Emily's head, reassuring her. I didn't know why, but she apparently assud I, or maybe we all, would be angry.

"'I'll talk with her, okay?"

"... Okay!"

Emily bead at , clearly relieved. Sele also walked up to , tugging at my clothes.

"Nn, Sele?"

"... Don't be... too hard... on Maya..."

"... I'll be nice, okay? Don't worry."

"Mh..."

Sele nodded.

Well then, what do...

I patted the two once more on their heads and then walked over to Maya. I wasn't quite sure how to approach her... How did one even approach a crying young girl, especially if you didn't even really know the reason for it?

Anyway, I couldn't really just stand here doing nothing. That would change nothing. If I didn't know, I had to find out.

Taking a deep breath, I walked up to Maya.

"Maya."

"... Yumi?"

"Nn."

I sat down next to her. She briefly regarded

with a glance and then looked down to the ground once more.

So ways away from us was a group of won talking and being rry. A little further I could see children playing tag, or whatever was this world's equivalent.

"Yumi..."

"Nn?"

"... Are we... just going... to leave them behind?"

"You an the captain and the others?"

Maya nodded weakly.

"They... They always say the sa... I hate it... I hate it..."

"The sa?"

"That... That they will be fine..."

"..."

A sniffle, just barely audible, ca from Maya.

"And then... And then... They... They don't co back... I hate it... I hate it so much..."

Maya turned around, grabbed onto my clothes and buried her face in my chest. She was crying.

"I don't want that... I don't want to sit around... and do nothing..."

I froze. Sitting around and doing nothing?

"I... I want to fight... with them... and protect them... Why... Why can't I do anything? Yumi... Why am I... so weak?"

I stared at the girl who was burying herself in my chest and crying—crying at her powerlessness.

I could only stare. For so reason, those words... They hurt...

"Yumi... What... What should I do? I... I..."

I cautiously embraced Maya, hugging her, patting her back.

"Yumi... Why... Why can't I do anything?"

Wanting... Wanting to protect... what is important to you...

Yes, I could relate to that feeling. I certainly could. I wanted to protect my family. These girls. Lily. Rina... Karen. I really wanted to, but... I was weak as well. Just like her, I didn't have the strength to fight, to protect them...

"I... I've been practising so hard... And still... I can't... I can't protect them... I'm... I'm not even allowed to try..."

She was the one who taught

how to use that crossbow back then. That wasn't sothing you could simply do, without any training.

Yet, she's only seen as a child... As soone who needs to be protected...

She was an impressive girl... Much... Much more impressive than I was... Much stronger than I was...

"What... What should I do... Yumi..."

"..."

I didn't know... I didn't know either...

The only thing I could do was hug her small fra, trying to comfort her.

"I... I don't know... I don't know, Maya..."

There wasn't anything else I could tell her. I didn't know anything else. Really... What should she do? What should I do? What could we do?

It took so ti until Maya cald down to a reasonable degree. Emily and Sele had co over and taken over for . They apparently didn't know what to do either. They were just as much at a loss as I was. I felt a little apologetic for being unable to help...

And here I should be the adult...

I was unable to help her, to reassure her. The words she spoke... they stung. I watched the three girls huddling up together. Maya already looked a little better, but now that I saw her face, it was clear that she had cried quite a lot. It was red and full of tear stains. Maybe she had bottled up all those feelings until they exploded right then and there.

I really felt my helplessness. I couldn't do anything for her.

I should talk to Sis and Lily... They might know a solution.

Yes, if it was those two they would surely...

Surely what?

I paused. And glanced once more at the three girls.

Would Karen and Lily know what to do? Did they have a solution? Did they...

I shook my head. That was wrong... Or was it?

Maybe... I think I should clear my head a little myself...

There was still ti until we should et up, and Emily and Sele already told

they'd take care of Maya for a little. I waved to the two of them and pointed at the road. They waved back at , hopefully understanding the aning. Then, I turned around and decided to take a little walk.

The greenery was calming, it reminded

a lot of a park in my old world. Albeit there were subtle differences. The road was paved with red stone bricks, the lamps weren't electrical but instead magic lamps... Probably magic lamps...

And despite being a park, there was a clear system in the trees, the bushes, or the occasional flower bed. It honestly gave more the feeling of a well-cared-for, large garden.

It's quite a nice place. Whoever planned this put in a lot of effort.

I couldn't even imagine the amount of effort. Even after walking for a good ten or more minutes in one direction, I still hadn't reached the end. I did find sothing interesting, though.

"A statue? Maybe so important person? Nn... Oh, there's a plaque. Let's see. In honour... of the Gethmann family... the creators of... this garden... May they... be blessed by... the... How do I read this? Uhm... Great spirits? Sounds about right... By the great spirits... forevermore. It reads a little weird..."

Maybe it was so older dialect. The plaque looked rather aged already. I glanced at the bronze-coloured statue. It was an old beastkin man, standing proudly, watching over the adow with a smile. Like so kind of guardian deity.

"An impressive man, huh..."

I stared for a while at the statue. Then at the adow. Children, won, n. Quite a few people were around. The children were playing in the adow, the won were watching them with smiles. A bunch of young n stood to the side, loudly discussing sothing.

Once more I glanced at the statue.

I wonder, were you able to protect those you loved? What does protecting them even an?

I glanced back at the road I had co from. In the distance were the three girls.

Is this... Is this the right thing? Am I doing the right thing?

I sighed and walked past the statue, continuing to walk down the road. It bothered . Seeing Maya crying at her own helplessness... bothered . But why did it bother

so much? Was it because of those words Yumias had left

with? Or was it because of so other reason?

The road continued on and on. At so part, the park changed a little. Large stones, half my own size, adorned the sides of the street. Each stone different from the others, surrounded by many, many flowers.

Are these... graves?

I walked to the side of the road and stared at the stones. There was a very small plaque in front of each of them. The letters were already fading but...

Nas, huh... So... These are graves, after all?

There seed to be no end in sight. They kept going far into the distance. I followed them until I eventually found the end of the road. A small plaza, surrounded by even more graves.

And another monunt in the middle of it...

Are these... soldiers? Warriors?

Three statues of ard n towered above . One holding a spear, another an axe and the last one a bow. Shown as if they were in the middle of battle. Another large plague adorned the base of the statues.

In mory... of the fallen. The Great... The heck, how do I read this one... Uh... Is this a na? I think... Triside War? The Great Triside War... Year 256... to Year 286... A war monunt... I wonder... what year it even is right now...

"Oh? Are you curious about this?"

"Nn?"

I turned around. A group of elderly won stood there, holding flowers in their hands. One of them walked up to

and squatted down a little, lowering her eyesight to my level. She smiled, albeit it felt a little sad.

"Do you know what this is?"

"... A war monunt?"

"Ohh, you're a smart one, aren't you?"

The woman's smile brightened a little.

"You are right, it's a war monunt. To rember the past, to rember the Great War... And to rember the sacrifices we made."

The sacrifices they made?

I tilted my head, wondering what she ant.

"It's been barely twenty-four Years since the war ended... Many of us lost our important ones in the war. So many..."

The other won walked past us and put down their flowers in front of the monunt. They surrounded the monunt and kept silent.

"I hope you will never have to face such a ti, girl."

The woman I was talking to patted my head briefly, then walked to the monunt, put down her flower and joined the others.

They silently surrounded the monunt, not saying a word. After what felt like an eternity, they broke up again. The won all took the flowers they had put down before and walked down the road, the way they had co from.

The woman that spoke to

nodded in my direction once and smiled, following the procession.

Are they... widows? They... Lost their important ones in that war... Is it...

I glanced once more at the monunt.

I... I should go back... I guess...

While walking back down the road,

I continued sorting my thoughts.

Maya, those widows... They lost people they know... No, not only them... Probably most of the people here lost soone important to them... Sis and Rina, they never told us a lot of what happened back then, in Aldreigh... Lily only talks about the ti she ca to the rcenaries, but never about the ti before...

I sighed. Was I blessed? Or was I cursed? I had already decided to live here, in this world. The people once important to , they were fine, safe. I wouldn't have to worry about them. But... What about the ones who are important to

now? I didn't know what it ant to lose soone to war, to battle, to illness and disease. And I prayed that I would never have to. But...

'They always say the sa,' was it...

I lifted my gaze into the sky. The sun was shining brightly but a few clouds floated above as well, occasionally covering the sun.

I don't know... What should I do? What can I do?

Why did I feel so helpless? No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't quite grasp it. I wanted to help Maya. I wanted to reassure her and comfort her.

Yet, I can't...

I gazed at the graves I was walking past. I hadn't noticed before, but there were many elderly people here. Mostly won, carrying flowers and putting them down in front of the graves. But occasionally you also saw younger people. At one grave stood a couple, probably in their early thirties. The man was saying sothing to the grave, his expression sad.

My steps grew faster. I didn't want to stay here for long. This place was heavy, suffocating. Sad.

It didn't take long for

to be back in the adow, surrounded by celebrating, happy people. Yet, it felt different. Different from before. They felt further away. Way further. It felt... bland.

"Oh! Yumi is back!"

"Nn?"

I directed my gaze forwards and saw Emily waving at . I hadn't even realised that I was already back where I had split up from them. Next to her stood Sele, and Maya too.

Maya looked a lot better, determined. She stepped forward, staring at

intensely.

"Yumi!"

"Ye—, Yes?"

"I! I'll go back! I can't leave them behind after all!"

"..."

"Yumi! Please, please co with us!"

"Eh? Ehhh?"

What was she talking about? Go back? Where to? I couldn't understand what she was talking about. Not at all.

"Yumi! Please!"

Emily walked up to

and stared right into my eyes. Sele ca up too and tugged at my clothes.

"... Please."

"... No, wait a minute. You girls, what are you even talking about?"

"We want to help Uncle and the others! We're not little children that need their protection! We don't want to be!" exclaid Maya.

They... Don't want to be simply protected.

I froze, staring blankly at Maya.

"I know! I know they send us here because they want to protect us! But! But! I don't like it! I don't want it! I want to help them! They are, they are my family too!"

"..."

... Family?

They send us here to protect us? That... That was the case... Wasn't it? Not only these three... But also us. Karen, Lily and Rina. And . We were being protected.

... Family, huh.

"I... I don't want to imagine it... That they won't co back! I like Uncle! I like Miss Fenna! I don't want them to get hurt again and again!"

Tears gathered in her eyes once more.

"I want to fight with them! I don't want to be protected anymore! I'll go with them!"

"... Maya."

She gasped for air after shouting out. Her face was red and stained from all the tears. Emily and Sele stood at her sides, both with serious expressions I hadn't seen before.

Ahh... I get it. I get why it hurts, I get why... Why this bothers

so much...

These girls were so much more admirable than I was. They already knew. They already knew what was important to them. And they decided to protect it. Yesterday, when we found out it would an war... These girls weren't scared. No, they were scared. But not because the war was scary. They were worried about their family. Scared that sothing would happen to them.

And ? I keep talking about wanting to protect them all, and yet... I'm just sitting here, not doing anything... I'm an idiot, aren't I... and a hypocrite...

I smiled in self-mockery. My family. These girls were my family, there was no doubt about that for . Just as much as Karen, Lily and Rina were. But what about the others? What about Fenna and Ria? What about Korwen and rim? And Wanda? Even Lefa or Greyward, what about them? They might not be my close family, but they were people who had taken care of .

"I'll have to apologise to Sis and Lily, huh..."

"... Yumi?"

Maya seed confused at my completely unrelated comnt.

"Maya. I understand."

"Yumi? That ans..."

"But I still can't approve of it."

"..."

Maya's expression turned sad, then determined once more.

"I... I will still go!"

"Maya, and what can you do alone? Even if all four of us would go, would that even make a difference?"

"That's... But..."

"Lily told

there is little doubt for a war to break out. And a few young girls, what difference would we even make in a battle? That's why, Maya, we have to think about how we can make a difference."

Yes, just like back when Rina was rescued. Karen and I couldn't do it alone. So we went and asked for help. Ultimately we managed to save Rina and join the rcenaries.

"Also, we first have to talk with Sis and Lily. I'll apologise together with you if they get angry."

"... Yu, Yumi!"

Maya jumped into my arms, hugging

with all she got. I wrapped my arms around her back. She was warm.

I don't know if this is the right choice. I really don't. Maybe it would be better if we just stayed here. Maybe we could have a peaceful life. But... These girls already have a big, big family. Taking them away and parting them from that family, that'd be just cruel. And...

Those people were already important to

as well. I... I might never be able to live with it if sothing would happen to them.

"But don't do anything too dangerous, okay? We would be getting the priorities backwards."

"I... I'll... try."

Maya understood that all of this was dangerous. Very dangerous. But she had to protect herself too. Those widows, those left behind, all those people I saw back there. They were heartbroken and sad, because the ones they loved, they might have protected them... But they sacrificed themselves for it. And that... was simply no good.

These past few days... They were fun, they were great, I enjoyed them. I beca lovers with Sis, I enjoyed the care of many others, I found friends. But...

I was scared. I was truly scared. Fenna told us what happened to many young people. The horrors of war.

Fenna likened life to a large maze. But this maze, it doesn't have a goal. Every path ends in a dead-end. So, who cares which path I choose? It ends all the sa. The feeling of being protected, it's not bad, but... I'm not a child... I shouldn't need to be protected.

It was ridiculous once you thought about it. I needed these young girls to show this to . To show

that I didn't belong on the side that needed protection. Their energy, their determination. Children always wanted to grow up as quickly as they could. And it was the adults' job to protect these precocious children so that they could grow up safely.

But I'm not soone who should be protected. For these girls' sake, I can't be soone who needs to be protected. In the first place, what kind of adult would I be, if I let these three run off to fight.

I smiled wryly. The three girls looked at , still a little dumbfounded at my reaction. What had they thought, that I'd drag them back? In the first place, nothing had been decided yet. Hopefully, Karen wasn't too angry.

"Yumi, so... You will co with us?" asked Emily, looking insecure.

"Nn. I can't let you girls go alone, right? And, you would just storm off if I don't, I bet."

""Uhh...""

Emily and Sele averted her gazes. They had already intended to do so, didn't they? Better make sure they don't run off on .

"So, if I co along, I can at least help out as well, right?"

I wanted to protect these children. But I couldn't do it on my own. I was too weak for that...

I'll have to bother Lily a lot. I'll also have to apologise, don't I... Haa... I don't want to.

We were talking about war, after all. While it wasn't likely that they had already stord the fort or anything, we still couldn't waste ti. If we still wanted to help, we would have to do so quickly.

It would be a hard, arduous road. I'm sure, there would be hard tis for us in the future. But, I was sure we would get through them. All of us together, I was sure we could do it.

You might call

naive and greedy, but that was fine with . I was just a person, after all. I wasn't perfect. Regardless, I wanted to be with them. I too wanted to protect them. And I wanted to stay with them. All of them. Everyone.

With my family. With my friends.

Really, thank you, Maya, Emily, Sele. Thank you.

What do you treasure the most? Is it an object? Or a person? Is it your beliefs, your ideals or maybe your hobby?

There are many things you can treasure, but there is only one thing you can treasure the most. For many it might be an object, for most, it is probably a person. Knowing what you treasure the most, what will you do? Will you protect it? Will you fight for it? Or will you care for it? Neglect it? Destroy it? Or love it?

Lily and Maya protect what is most important to them. Sele fights for it. Emily cherishes it. Rina cares for it.

Karen loves it.

There are many ways to show your affection. How do you show it? Have you gone to them and told them "I love you?" Have you given them a hug, a pat on the head? Did you hold their hand? Did you wipe their tears?

Did you do all of these?

Or did you do none?

Show your affection. Show your love. Because we are scared. Worried. We will wonder "Do you still love us?" We will think "They don't care for us." That's why: Show it to us. Reassure us. So we can reply in kind and tell you "I love you." We will be waiting. For a long ti.

For an eternal ti.

Forever, shall we wait.

For the words of our most beloved.

We love you.

We love you the most.