You know how people say sleep is the cousin of death?
Well, last night, I think I died about six tis. Not in the peaceful, ’rest in peace’ kind of way but in the I’m going to have a heart attack because the psycho Alpha is standing over my bed again for no reason kind of way. I hadn’t slept a wink. Not a single. Blink. Of sleep. My eyebags had gone beyond the normal "tired oga" stage and entered the "did you get punched in both eyes?" territory. They were swollen, dark, and I could feel them sagging like they had gained their own weight and gravity.
Why? Because he kept talking to himself well, not exactly himself. His inner voice. The one that apparently, for so evil reason, only I could hear.
Inner Voice (low, mocking):
"I wonder if she knows how funny she looks. Two black moons under her eyes. Like a raccoon that’s been crying all night. Or maybe a corpse that refused to stay in the grave. He said in his inner voice
I froze mid-step.
I had just entered the Alpha’s office to resu my duties basically, delivering docunts and pretending I didn’t exist when his voice slithered into my brain again.
The worst part? His lips weren’t moving. He was sitting at his desk, signing papers like nothing was wrong, like he wasn’t roasting my entire existence in his head. I swallowed hard. "G–Good morning, Alpha."
"She looks like she’s about to collapse. If she collapses, I will drag her to the healer. Or maybe I will just watch her fall. Would be fun to see her face hit the floor. He said again in his inner voice.
My knees buckled so fast I almost fulfilled his fantasy right there.
"Are you—" He glanced up at , eyes narrowing, shaking again?"
I quickly straightened up, clutching the papers to my chest like a lifeline. "N–No, Alpha. Just...just cold." Which was a lie. It was sumr. I was sweating. His eyes lingered on for a mont longer, then he stood.
"Co. Walk with ."
Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.
A walk ant more alone ti. More inner voice. More chances for to hear things I didn’t want to hear. Still, saying "no" to the psycho Alpha was basically like asking for an early funeral, so I followed him. My legs felt like jelly. We walked through the pack’s central courtyard. Warriors were training, ogas were cleaning, and I was silently praying that soone, anyone, would trip and cause a distraction big enough to save .
"Her steps are too small. Like a mouse. A mouse with eyebags. I could crush her with my boot. He said in his inner voice.
I nearly tripped over my own feet. The crazy glanced at again. "What’s wrong with you today?"
I bit my lip. "Nothing, Alpha. Just... tired."
"She’s lucky she’s still breathing. I could have ended her last night when I stood by her bed. She didn’t even notice the knife. I did notice the knife. I just pretended I didn’t because I wanted to survive. We walked past the training grounds, heading toward the southern border path. The air was crisp, but my skin felt clammy. Every sound he made every sigh, every footstep was accompanied by another comnt in my head that made want to dig my own grave and crawl inside. And then it happened. We turned a corner, and there they were.
A patrol guard one of the Alpha’s own n and a young oga girl were tucked into a shadowed corner, kissing like their lives depended on it. They didn’t see us. Big mistake. The Alpha froze, and I saw his jaw tighten.
" Patrolling the borders? No. He’s patrolling her lips. Disgusting. Worthless. Weak. I should tear out his throat and make her watch until her screams stop. His inner voice now sharp and furious.
I stopped breathing.
Oh no. Oh, no. Soone’s About to die. The Alpha’s hands clenched into fists. His aura flared so strongly that the air felt heavier.
He didn’t speak out loud. Not yet.
"How dare they touch here? In my territory? While on duty? I will break his bones one by one. I will rip her apart. I will feed them to the crows. He said in his inner voice, which was now sounding dangerous and vicious.
I felt sick. Really, really sick.
"Alpha—" I whispered, "maybe we should just—"
Too late. He moved like lightning. One second he was next to , the next he was on the patrol guard, slamming him into the wall with bone-cracking force. The oga girl scread, but he didn’t hesitate. His claws extended, and before I could even blink blood. So much blood. It sprayed across the wall, the ground, and even speckled my dress. I stood frozen, hands clamped over my mouth. The guard didn’t even have ti to beg before his throat was gone. The Alpha tossed his body aside like trash and turned to the oga girl. She backed away, shaking, but he was faster. He grabbed her by the neck.
"She slls like him. Tainted. Useless. Let’s see how far I can throw her before she stops breathing. He said in his inner voice
"No—" I tried to speak, but my voice ca out as a squeak.
With one brutal motion, he snapped her neck. Her body crumpled to the ground.
Then everywhere was silent, Except for the sound of my own heart pounding in my ears.
The crazy Alpha stood there, breathing heavily, his hands dripping crimson. His expression was calm. Too calm. Then his head turned toward .
"She’s pale. She will faint. Yes, any second now. He said in his inner voice mocking
He was right. My vision blurred, the world tilted, and I collapsed. The last thing I saw before everything went dark was his face smiling faintly as if this had been the highlight of his day.
When I woke up, the first thing I noticed was... the sll. Not the comforting sll of clean sheets or fresh bread. No. It was the sharp, tallic tang of blood thick, suffocating, clinging to my nose and throat like invisible fingers. I gasped and sat up too quickly. Bad idea. My head spun, and I flopped back down with a groan.
"You’re awake."
The voice was deep, calm, and way too close.
I turned my head.
There he was. The psycho Alpha himself. Sitting in a chair by the bed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, eyes locked on like I was so strange animal he was studying.
"She faints like a delicate little flower. Maybe I should water her with more blood next ti. He said in his inner voice.
I almost rolled out of bed in panic. My heart leaped so high it nearly burst through my ribs.
"You—you killed them," I stamred, gripping the blanket like it could shield from him.
He tilted his head slightly. "Yes. And?"
And? What did he an and? There was no and! People don’t just answer murder accusations with and like it’s an afterthought!
"She’s still shaking. Good. Fear keeps them obedient. I could teach the others a lesson through her. He said in his inner voice.
I squeezed my eyes shut. If I couldn’t see him, maybe I could pretend he wasn’t there.
Spoiler: it didn’t work. His voice inside my head was louder than the actual room.
When I opened my eyes again, he was closer. Much closer. I could see a small drop of dried blood still clinging to his jawline. My stomach flipped.
"Why... why did you—" I swallowed hard, "—do it?"
"Why? Because I can. Because it was fun. Because they broke my rules, and I like to watch life drain from their eyes. He said in his inner voice.
My hands shook so badly I nearly tore the blanket. "I... I see."
"You see what?" His real voice was low, dangerous.
"That rules are important?" I blurted, forcing a weak smile.
He leaned back slowly, studying like he could tell I was lying. Maybe he could.
"If she ever lies too much, I’ll cut out her tongue and keep it in a jar. He said in his inner voice again.
I choked. Literally. My own saliva betrayed , and I started coughing like an idiot. He raised one eyebrow, looking mildly entertained.
"You are jumpy today," he remarked.
"Today?" I squeaked. "Just today?"
That earned a faint smirk. "Co. Walk with ."
No. No more walks. The last walk ended with corpses.
But my mouth betrayed . "Yes, Alpha."
The courtyard looked different now. It wasn’t brighter or prettier if anything, it felt colder, heavier. Warriors I passed avoided my eyes, and ogas gave wide berths. Word of what happened had probably spread like wildfire. I kept my head down, following behind him like a shadow. Maybe if I stayed quiet, he wouldn’t
"She’s too quiet. Like she’s hiding sothing. Maybe I should break a bone and see if she screams. He said in his inner voice viciously.
My foot caught on a loose stone, and I stumbled. He caught my arm before I fell, his grip firm, almost too firm.
"You need to watch where you’re going," he said.
I nodded quickly. "Yes, Alpha."
We passed a pair of young ogas scrubbing the steps. They froze, bowing low. His eyes lingered on them for a mont too long, and my stomach tightened. Every ti he looked at soone like that, it never ended well.
"Too slow. Pathetic. I should drown them in the water they’re scrubbing with. He said in his inner voice.
I nearly bit my tongue to stop from gasping out loud.
We kept walking, eventually heading toward the forest path. I recognized this trail it led toward the training field. Great. More witnesses for him to terrify. Halfway there, he stopped abruptly. I froze too. "Is sothing wrong?"
"Soone’s watching us. I can sll the fear.
My head whipped around. I didn’t see anyone, but my skin prickled. The crazy Alpha’s lips curved into the faintest smile. "Stay here."
"What? No, But he was already gone, disappearing into the trees like a shadow.
The silence that followed was worse than his presence. Every rustle made my nerves scream. By the ti he returned, dragging a trembling warrior by the collar, my legs were ready to give out.
"Spying," he said flatly.
"Perfect. I needed a distraction. Let’s see how long he lasts before he begs. He said in his inner voice
"Please—" the warrior gasped, "I was just—"
The Alpha threw him to the ground. I turned away, but the sounds that followed the crunch, the choked cry, the thud painted the picture for . I didn’t need to look to know the warrior wouldn’t be standing again. When he was done, he wiped his claws on the grass and turned to like nothing happened.
"Let’s go," he said simply.
I nodded dumbly, forcing my legs to move.
"She’s getting used to it. Soon, she won’t even flinch. He said in his inner voice .
No. No, I was not getting used to it. But the scary thing?
He might be right.
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