I took extra care in bathing myself that day and I also took proper care of my appearance. Reagan had packed so of my dresses and I didn’t want to wear them before but I had to. I found a silk dress that still fitted a little bit. It was less obvious than the rest so I picked it up. The last thing I wanted was to look like I had been through hell. I still wanted to look like I was the lady of the house. They were going to be expecting soone that was broken. Soone that had been through hell, a reflection of what I had once been.
I wasn’t going to give them that.
I let my hair down, letting the dark curls tumble down my shoulders so they could at least hide my thin face. I couldn’t get so make up so I had to improvise a bit. I found so crushed berried in the kitchen which was from a left over tarts that the Hilde had brought . I used bit of it on my lips and applied so to my cheeks just so my skin could look like it had a bit of color. It was nothing fancy but it did the job just right.
My hands trembled a little as I smoothed the dark plum dress that I was wearing. The silk material felt very soft against my skin and it fitted around my body at the waist but fell slightly below hips. Although it didn’t stick to as much as I wanted it too but it still looked graceful. Presentable and it made feel pretty enough instead of looking like I had just walked the seven hells.
My hair frad my face and even though there wasn’t anything much I could do about my eyes because they still carried that haunted look. There was sothing else, sothing that I had thought had left completely.
Fire.
I had survived sothing horrible, a terrible thing that not many survived. I was a survivor, I was lucky to be alive and I was no longer going to sink deep into the shadows to hide.
My na is Dahlia Hawthorne, the lady of house Hawthorne and wife to Reagan, the bravest knight in the country and now, I was back!
Drawing in a deep breath, I decided to step out of the bedroom where I t Killian waiting for . I haven’t seen him a long ti, mostly because I have been avoiding everyone on the ship and because I was already in a dark place. I never got to thank him for saving my life, he didn’t need to but he had co even if it ant going to war.
Imdiately he saw , Killian imdiately straightened, his gaze assessing with a slow look befpre a pleased smile ford on his face.
"My lady." He acknowledged with a bow.
"Killian." I called with a small smile on my face.
Killian glanced up at and in a typical ’Killian’ way, he shot a wink. The smile on my face imdiately widened.
"I see you are still charming." I said as I stared at the smirk on his face.
He was so charming and confident and it doesn’t seem to take him much effort. Besides the way he stared at with that small smirk on his face made feel a little bit good about myself. It felt like he was trying to establish a personal connection with .
Like his way of silently saying I see you and you are still you.
Clearing my throat, I looked around. "Where’s Reagan."
"Out sorting so things." Killian said as he grabbed my arm with his, "When we saved you we didn’t expect to save that much people. So of them are ready to go back ho but most of them are scared to go back ho. So of them don’t even have a ho to go to."
We probably should have thought about all of this. Here I was being excited to be back ho I never thought about what it would be like for the other prisoners I had escaped with. So had families to go back ho to and others do not. Others lived a life that was probably just as worse as that of the prison.
The weight of it all pressed against my chest like heavy iron. We had escaped, we were now free but not everyone found his escape, freedom was different for so people. So people do not know what they would et the out there the mont we get out of this ship, was it going to be freedom or a fate that was worse than prison.
I had been so focused on myself, the hurt, my own recovery that I never once stopped to think about what others were going through. I automatically decided that I was the only one who had it bad.
"Don’t do that."
I blinked as I looked up at Killian with a small frown. "I don’t understand."
"Do you think I do not see what you are doing?" Killian asked confusing even further, "I know that you’ve gone to that part of your head where you do nothing except bla yourself."
"If I don’t bla myself then who else am I supposed to?"
Killian paused and turned to look at , "Now you listen to Dahlia Hawthorne." He said and I stared up at him.
"You are the bravest person I know and the strongest. When we wanted to save just you, you said you wouldn’t be going anywhere without the others. You survived hell and you had no reason to save anyone but you did even though you barely made it out yourself and now you think it’s your job to fic the pieces that everyone else left shattered?"
"Well isn’t it?" I threw at him, "I just feel so selfish..."
"You are not!" Killian interrupted firmly as he took a step closer. "You are many things and being selfish isn’t one of them Dahlia. I know you feel this people are your responsibility but maybe it’s ti to make them responsible for themselves. It’s okay to no have everything handled by yourself, alright."
I stared up at Killian with a small smile on my face. "You just always know the right things to say, how do you that?"
Killian straightened the lapels of his jacket. "Just think of it as one of my many qualities to woo the ladies." He responded and I had to smack his arm.
Killian laughed as he danced away from my touch and he was just about to say sothing when all of a sudden we heard a loud cry.
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