"Is it not obvious to you that it of course is more than that??"
He asked her. Tinsley turned her attention back to him. Kian rubbed her back soothingly when he opened his mouth to explain to his wife...what their marriage ant to him.
"I always wanted you, Tinsley Randall...the mont I saw you in that Herrington party.
You caught my eyes with that beautiful smile and your eyes as you looked out for him amidst all that people.
You missed my eyes looking at you, standing by the bar. You even did not bother to peek at when I held on to your shoulders, not allowing to fall you when he raised his hands on you and you were about to lose balance.
At first, all I saw you as my charity case but not after I kissed you..."
Tinsley continued to listen to him, not opening her mouth for once.
"The kiss changed everything, Tinsley...I did not co the week to avoid you because you kept coming into my head...I thought that the distance would ease that but I could not help and co back to you..."
She rembered that night when he sneaked inside her room after a week-long of not visiting her.
She thought that he was over her. He did not want to et her anymore or he grew out of it.
"And the marriage...yes it was to protect you...it was only to free you from him..."
Tinsley's face grew pale, expecting the worst to hear anyti now...him confessing that their marriage was only an arrangent for him to protect her...and not anything more.
"...but on the wedding night...things changed...not because we had sex...only because I m too used to you having around now than letting you go..."
Whatever he was saying, she was not understanding at all. His words were confusing only because he was himself confused, not getting the right words to speak.
"...I need you, Tinsley...more than I ever thought I would. I might bla you for the things I lost in anger and frustration but...there is one thing, you must know...you must always know..."
He cupped her face, urging her to look up at him. Tinsley licked her lips as her throat felt dry, fearing the worst to co.
"You must know that I would do it over and over again...only to have you and lose everything to have you??
I will forever do it..."
"That how much you an to ..."
Even though he did not confess that he loved her, sothing about whatever he said in this long while....made her believe that he indeed felt for her more than he let out...she could see it in his eyes.
She leaned in to peck his lips, closing their eyes, both cherished the mont.
Kian never in his wildest dream that one day, he would be explaining how he felt to a woman and there he was, hugging the nude figurine of his wife in contentnt.
She was the first woman after Serena Williams to make him feel like that. And there was it...out in the air.
The thought of Serena William...her face got reflected in his mind as he hugged his wife.
It was disturbing to think about another woman while embracing your wife...it was cheating.
But he could not help it. He had forgotten about her for so long and it was Tinsley...her pressure on him to get his feelings in words made her back to his mory lane.
He wondered where she was now?? How was she??
All of these were very sudden questions. He had no idea how and where they were coming in.
"So they did not an anything to you??"
Her question made him look at her. He shook his head in negative even though in his heart, he knew he was lying...he did not intend to provoke his wife with a woman, he used to like once upon a ti and had no contact with.
"You are the first for ...more than just a distraction..." Just like Serena was...
He did not speak the last words out. Tinsley was glad that at least there was no woman whom he had in more than just sharing a bed.
"How about you??"
He diverted the question back to her. For her, it was very simple...there had been no one but him...always him.
"You were the first to stir love in my heart. Josh was my obligation but my heart always belonged to you..."
Her answer made him feel guilty internally. The sincerity in her eyes when she always confessed her love for him. It was unbelievable.
"How could it be so??? Have nobody caught your eyes ever?? As you said, I left without an answer...did you not hate after that??"
Kian asked. He wanted to know how could she love him even after he left her without any notes.
"I ca back to the mango tree, the next day...but you never returned. I kept coming until one day my heart believed my father's words that you really did leave...and were not coming back ever again..."
Tinsley's eyes watered as she thought of those days back. Her voice was shaking in the next mont, struggling to not cry the words out.
"...my only regret now...I wish I never did believe that you were gone and should have searched for you sooner...but I was just so weak and pathetic back then Kian...I trusted my father..."
"It's fine...you do not have to say anything anymore. "
Kian pulled her back in for a hug, trying to calm her down. His inability to watch her in tears was disturbing to him.
"I love you..."
She muttered, muffling her sobs on his chest. He ran his fingers in her red hair.
"I know."
He said, only hating the fact that he could never say that back to her...or anyone ever.
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