Chapter 246: GRIEF: SHATTERING DISPLAY
Fay ran out of the car, the second it stopped in front of Ace’s gate.
She walked up to the gate, and began to bang furiously on it.
Cam, who was close to the gate, drew closer, even before Frank, the gate guy, stepped out.
"Who is there?" Cam called out.
Fay didn’t respond. She just kept on banging.
Cam peeped through a hole, and his heart skipped a beat when he saw it was Fay.
Swiftly, he opened the gate, and she dashed past him into the house.
"Who is—"
"It’s Fay," Cam interrupted Frank, as he made his way towards the house.
Cade was just behind him too, both faces, contorted with worry.
Fay ran straight to Ace’s room, and locked the door behind her with its key.
She walked up to his bed, and plopped on it.
Dropping her face on her palm, she searched her emotions for what she felt.
At the forefront was anger. Raw intense anger that consud her entire being.
"How dare you!" She scread out of the blue.
"How dare you do this to ? How dare you do this to our daughter? How dare you do this to your family?!" She scread, and sprang to her feet.
"What wrong did I commit, Ace? Marrying you? Going with your plan? Falling in love with you? Heck, having your child? Is that my fucking cri!"
She grabbed both pillows on his bed, and tossed them to the ground.
Jumping on them, she let out a guttural screech.
"How could you leave? How? Why the fuck would you just leave without informing ? And then you go and— you go and—"
She still couldn’t bring herself to say the word..
Instead, she went to his dressing table, and began tossing everything on it to the ground.
"How fucking dare you? I was moving on. I told myself, there’s no point in dwelling on you. You don’t deserve . I deserve better than you. And so I finally decided just yesterday to move on from you. But do you know what you did?"
She laughed bitterly, as she stomped over and over again on his pillow.
"You had to infiltrate my decision too. You had to remind
that no matter what I do, what decisions I make, I can never get rid of you. My heart could never—" she hiccupped, and grabbed her chest to calm the tightness that was suddenly holding back respiration.
Few seconds after she was relieved, she continued ranting.
This ti, she walked over to his closet, and began tossing all of his clothes to the ground.
"I’m crazy too Ace Atticus. You’re not the only one that can ruin lives. I can too! I can make sure you don’t forget
either," she laughed again. "But to what end? You’re not even around to— Oh God!" She scread, and grabbed one of his white shirts.
She turned towards the dressing table, and began to wipe off the mirror with the white shirt.
"You’re wicked. You’re fucking evil. Why did I et you? Why did I ever—" she lifted her head in the middle of her rant, and her reflection sent a jolt of shock through her.
She was losing it. Even in her state of malady, she could tell she was losing her grip on her sanity.
But it was either that, or killing herself. And she wasn’t a coward. She didn’t plan to go away forever like Ace had done.
She stopped cleaning, and threw the piece of clothing that had turned into a rag behind her.
Her hands went to his drawers, and she began to open all of it, whilst flinging its contents to the ground.
"You want to just leave like that? Without healing all the hurt you caused ? You want to leave your daughter? That girl fucking adores you? How can you—" she paused when she saw sothing that looked too much like a journal.
Curiosity trumped her rant, and she grabbed the book.
Stepping on everything she had tossed to the ground, she walked over to the bed, and sat on it.
She scoffed as she scanned the cover of the book.
"So you kept a journal? Mr too cool for anything re humans think normal, keep a journal?" She scoffed, and broke into a feat of laughter.
With trembling fingers, she opened the first page.
The date caught her eyes, sending shuddering waves down her spine.
"February 5th?" She whispered.
It was the very first day she t Ace,four years ago.
She began to read through. It was a journal, alright. A real journal.
"I t soone interesting today. Anyti she does anything interesting, I’ll update you Dad."
It was the first line. And it was the line that sent her heart flying into space.
"Ace?" She called his na in disbelief..
There was no way he kept a journal. There was no way he actually wrote these things.
She began to flip the pages. With every page, ca one thing he observed about her.
She kept on going until she got to the day after the day he was embarrassed, and rejected her in front of everyone.
"I may have ssed up. I don’t know. I don’t know what to believe, dad. All I know is that I’ve not felt this much hurt since you died. It feels like my heart has been ripped apart, and that I can never be the sa again. What does this an, dad?"
The journal dropped out of her shaky hands, and she quickly picked it up again.
"That way supposed to be the end right?" She thought.
But as she flipped the pages, there was more.
Instances where he went into her room, just to inhale her scent.
"I had a terrible day at work today. Celine was being her usual horrible self. I ca ho to Reign, and it was like I had gone from purgatory to hell. I had to go to her room. Why can’t I stop seeking her scent for comfort? It’s been two years already? When do I get a break from feeling the way I feel about her absence?"
Fay swallowed the tears that had gathered in her throat.
"We’re not crying over Ace Atticus," she repeatedly told herself.
"I can’t sleep with Reign. She knows this, and I know she’s not okay with the arrangent, but I don’t care. Everyti she makes a move, all I picture is her biting her lips. That’s all I can think of, because that was all it took to get
desperate for her. Three years in, and I still can’t forget about her, dad."
She continued reading, until she got to the first part that ntioned Dream.
"I t my daughter today, Dad. Her na is Dream. Her mother nad her well, won’t you agree? You would have loved her. She’s so smart, and looks exactly like . I’m going to teach her about cars. Sa way you did. No one is going to ever hurt her. I’d die to protect her, and her mother. I don’t know why I still feel so strongly about her mother, even if I still don’t know what these feelings an."
Fay’s lips began to quiver, along with her already trembling body.
She flipped the page to the last entry, and the first few words she read had her at the verge of tears.
"Fay," he began. It was the first ti in the entire journal he had written her na. It was also the first ti he had not directed the words to his father.
"You’re never going to see this, but I still have to write it. I paint to let out my frustrations, but I’ve picked up a brush, and ca up with a blank. I decided to write to my father, but I find myself writing to you. I’m sorry Fay. It’s never going to be enough to just say sorry, but I truly am. I should have been a better man for you. I should have fought harder for you. I should have been bold with my love for you. But how could I have loved you, when I didn’t even know what I felt for you was love?"
A single tear fell from her eyes, as she flipped the page.
"That’s why I need to leave. I need to punish myself for not loving you, and treating you with the respect you deserved. I need to face the consequences of my actions, and I’m afraid it would never happen if I stick around. So just be patient with , okay? Take care of Dream like you’ve always done. I’ll keep an eye out for her too, even though I won’t be around. I love you with all my heart. I’ll never love anyone else the way I love you. I’ll die if I have to, knowing that you’re the only woman that ever made this cold heart of mine beat. I love you Fay. My wife, and the mother of my child."
The journal fell out of Fay’s hands, as she moved from the bed, and her knees dropped to the ground.
Burying her head on the floor, she let out a scream, and began to wail uncontrollably.
Reviews
All reviews (0)