Lily gazed at the ceiling as Ethan’s bedroom was dotted with shifting patterns from the city’s dull glow. She hadn’t intended to get here or want his assistance in chasing away the debilitating weight of her thoughts, but she hadn’t objected when he had told her to stay.
She was too tired to continue fighting.
She kept thinking about the night’s events in a vicious, never-ending cycle. Carlisle was out.
She was unable to stop the voice that was whispering the truth, no matter how much Ethan soothed her or how many tis she tried to convince herself that they would ultimately prevail.
Carlisle was never far away.
Pressing her fingers against her temples, she rolled onto her side. The last several months had been a never-ending cycle of running, loss, and terror. She was being consud, suffocated, and being torn apart by it.
Before she broke totally, how much more could she take?
She was startled out of her reverie by a gentle knock on the door.
As soon as Ethan entered, she sat up. The dim hallway light emphasized his figure as his wide fra filled the doorway. Initially, he remained silent and observed her, seemingly attempting to determine if she desired his presence.
She ought to tell him to go.
She ought to let him know she needed room.
Instead, she discovered that she was saying, "I can’t sleep."
Ethan gave a nod as though anticipating that. He walked across the room and perched on the edge of the bed next to her without saying anything. He wasn’t touching, but he was close enough for her to feel the warmth of his body.
Allowing her to make the decision.
She lowered her gaze to her hands. "I can’t stop thinking."
Ethan put his hands on his knees and leaned forward. "That is the result of carrying everything alone."
Lily laughed without humor. "Is that how you’re telling to stop?"
"It is my thod of letting you know that you are not alone in this."
She took a deep breath. "Ethan, that’s the issue. I’m not sure how to grant access to anyone.
They waited for a long mont before he said, "Then let show you how."
She gasped.
Because this was hazardous, this—him.
Carlisle isn’t the only reason. Not only due to her life’s turmoil.
However, Ethan possessed the ability to shatter her in a manner that no adversary could ever do.
She made herself look into his eyes. "What if I am unable to?"
Ethan let out a breath and, after a little mont of hesitation, brushed his fingers on hers. "I’ll wait then."
Lily’s throat beca constricted.
She wasn’t convinced she was worthy of such tolerance.
She wasn’t sure how to put her trust in it.
However, so of the pressure on her chest was relieved when he gave her hand a light squeeze.
And that was sufficient for tonight.
Reality hit her like a tidal wave the following morning.
As soon as she saw the serious look on Ethan’s face when he was on the phone, the tender mont she had experienced with him vanished. When he hung up, the tension in the room increased since his body was hard and his jaw was tight.
She asked, already preparing herself, "What happened?"
With dark blue eyes, Ethan turned to face her. "Jas was granted bail."
Lily’s stomach dropped. "What?"
His movents were infused with frustration as he combed through his hair. To get him out, soone paid an absurd sum of money. An hour ago, he left the jail.
Lily held on to the counter. "Did Carlisle do it?"
"I wouldn’t be surprised, but we don’t know yet."
Her stomach was wrenched with nausea.
He was theirs.
He was gone now, but they had him.
The tenuous sense of security she had experienced the previous evening vanished in an instant.
Ethan must have sensed the change in her face because he moved forward and touched her arms. "Lily, we’ll find him."
She gave a headshake. What takes place in the interim? Should I simply wait for them to co get ?
Ethan’s hand grew a little tighter. "You’re not doing this alone."
Lily chuckled harshly. "I understand. It gets worse because of that.
Ethan scowled. "What?"
Taking a step back, she paced the kitchen. "Every ti I believe that sothing is finished, sothing new occurs. And each ti, I bring more harm to others.
"Lily—"
Her voice rose as she turned to face him. "Ethan, you were shot last night. And you continue to stand here and assure that everything will be alright even though we both know it won’t be!
Ethan’s jaw tightened. "I was aware of the situation I was in. None of it is sothing I regret.
She shook her head and let out a harsh exhale. "I do, even though you might not."
Ethan tensed. "What are you saying?"
Lily took a deep breath. She didn’t intend to say that. Hadn’t intended to reveal the ideas that had been racing through her mind.
She couldn’t take them back now that they were there, though.
She made herself look into his eyes. "I am no longer able to do this."
His jaw muscle twitched. "What is ant by that?"
"It implies..." She had a constricted throat. "It implies that I must leave before it’s too late."
Ethan’s eyes beca gloomy. "What is it too late for?"
With her heart racing, Lily paused.
It’s too late before I fall deeply in love with you.
Before I lose myself in this battle, it’s too late.
Before I lose you, it’s too late.
She was unable to utter any of that, though.
Instead, she muttered, "Before I kill you."
Ethan shook his head and exhaled slowly. "You shouldn’t make that call."
"It must be."
There was a thick quiet between them.
As Lily gazed at him—the man who had stood up for her and served as her bulwark during this storm—her chest ached.
However, she was unable to do this.
She couldn’t continue to act as though they wouldn’t be destroyed by this.
Ethan stepped up and spoke quietly. "You believe that leaving will make this better?"
She nodded against her will. "Yes, I do."
He tightened his jaw. "Then leave."
Despite the excruciating twisting of her heart, Lily refused to back down.
She pushed past him without Ethan moving, and he did not attempt to stop her as she picked up her purse and made her way to the door.
And the pain in her chest beca intolerable as she left.
Because she wasn’t only fleeing Carlisle this ti.
She was fleeing from him.
And that was the worst thing that had ever hurt.
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