Sweet Hatred Chapter 290: Coward

ARIA

He was shaking.

Quiet sobs trembled through his body like aftershocks, muffled into the crook of my neck where he clung to like I was all he had left in the world.

And maybe, for this mont, I was.

I didn’t know what to do with him... this boy who recently had been light in the middle of all my shadows, this boy who joked too much and laughed too loud and still managed to be the only softness I had when the world went sharp.

Sylas was crying.

Because of .

And I couldn’t even cry back.

God, what kind of person did that make ?

My fingers moved through his hair. Slow. Repeating the motion over and over like it might calm the both of us. I didn’t know how to speak, not when my throat was thick and my heart was in knots.

I wish he hadn’t fallen for .

I really, really wished he hadn’t.

Because I couldn’t change my heart,

And because Sylas didn’t deserve a ss like .

He didn’t deserve to fall for a girl who could barely hold herself together, who flinched at her own emotions, who still... even now... found herself wishing that it was Kael who had said those words to her instead.

And that made feel worse.

Not just for hurting Sylas, but for being this... this unstable, chaotic thing dressed in human skin, stitched together with guilt and grief and longing. And here Sylas was, pouring himself out to , all broken and honest and trembling, and all I could think was:

"Why couldn’t he just love soone else instead?"

And why did I have to be that girl?

I couldn’t love Sylas.

Because my heart was stitched to Kael’s na in a way that scared .

In a way that felt incurable.

And now Sylas was hurting in my arms because of it.

"I’m sorry," I whispered, though I knew it didn’t fix anything. "I’m so, so sorry..."

He didn’t answer. Just held tighter, like maybe if he squeezed hard enough, I’d change my mind. Like maybe he could rewrite fate with the pressure of his embrace.

I kept stroking his hair.

It was soft.

He was warm.

He was good.

Too good.

And ? I was selfish.

Because even now, I let him stay here. Let him cry into . Let him love .

Because it made the silence in my own chest just a little less loud.

Because without Kael... I was cold.

And Sylas, even in his heartbreak, was still warmth.

And I didn’t want to let go just yet.

Eventually, he pulled away.

His breath was uneven, his eyes glassy and wet, and I could see it... how much those words had cost him. How much he wished it had fixed sothing. But it didn’t. It only shattered things he’d tried so hard to keep together.

He stood up, his balance all wrong, like his body wasn’t sure if it wanted to keep standing or just crumple into a sob. I rose to follow him, heart thudding with sothing I didn’t want to na.

"Sylas," I whispered, reaching for his wrist. "You’re too drunk to go anywhere right now."

He paused... but only for a second.

And then he pulled away again. Gentle, but firm.

Like soone peeling off a goodbye they’d been avoiding.

"Don’t stop , Aria," he muttered. "I don’t wanna do another thing I’ll regret."

My hand fell to my side, useless.

And I let him go.

I didn’t have the strength to fight what we already both knew.

He left sitting there.

Just .

And the city.

And this unbearable ache behind my ribs.

The mont he was gone, it was like the alcohol rembered it still had a grip on . The dizzy, blurry kind of high that no longer felt comforting, just heavy. Sickening. Every light in the distance blurred into a ss of colors and everything I’d buried all night started crawling its way back to the surface.

I leaned back into the seat, exhaling slow. My hands were cold. My heart was louder than ever.

I felt guilty. I really did.

But at the sa ti... I didn’t.

Because I loved Kael.

I fucking loved Kael.

And sohow, even now, even with Sylas’s confession still echoing on my ears, I missed him. I missed Kael.

But then sothing hit .

Did I ever tell him?

I couldn’t rember ever saying the words.

Not once.

Not out loud.

And that realization? It knocked the breath right out of .

All I ever did was assu.

Assu he knew.

Assu he felt it too.

Assu he’d see it in the way I looked at him like he was my world and my war and everything in between.

But I never told him.

Not the way Sylas just told .

Not the way Sylas poured his heart into my hands like I was worthy of holding it.

And maybe that’s because... I’m a coward.

A big, spineless coward.

It was easier to pretend. Easier to sit in the uncertainty than face the truth. Because what if I said it and he didn’t say it back? What if I reached out and he didn’t catch ?

I swallowed hard, staring out into the city like it held answers. Like it might tell what the hell I was supposed to do with this ss of a heart I had.

And then I felt it... soone slumping down beside .

My chest jumped, and for a mont, I thought it was Sylas again. That maybe he ca back. Maybe—

But it wasn’t.

It was Ash.

She didn’t say anything at first. Just sat there, arms crossed and head tilted toward the view like she was giving a minute to gather my breath.

Then she asked, soft but blunt, "What happened between you and my brother?"

I didn’t answer. Not right away.

The silence was loud. Uncomfortable.

And then... she sighed.

"Let guess... he confessed to you and you rejected him, didn’t you?"

I closed my eyes.

Yeah.

I did.

And I didn’t know if that made brave or just even more of a coward than I already was.

"Yeah," I finally said. "I rejected him."

Ash didn’t react much. Just leaned back and stretched her long legs, fingers still wrapped loosely around her half-empty glass. Her sigh was the only sound between us for a while.

"I already warned him," she murmured, her voice low. "I told him not to fall for you."

Guilt pinched my chest harder. I looked away from her.

"I’m sorry," I whispered.

"Don’t be." She turned her face toward . "You didn’t do anything wrong. Feelings aren’t sothing you need to apologize for."

I wanted to believe her. But that didn’t erase the image of Sylas’s face, all flushed and broken and full of that kind of aching hope that tears you in two when it doesn’t land.

Before I could say anything else, Ash stood and walked off without another word. I thought maybe she was angry or I’d pushed her away too... but she ca back a minute later, two fresh drinks in hand. One was already missing a few sips.

She handed one to , raised the other in a little toast, and I took it. Downed half in one go. Felt the burn settle in my stomach.

"He deserves better," I said quietly. "Soone who’s not a complete ss like ."

Ash snorted and gave an unimpressed look. "Agreed."