Sweet Hatred Chapter 213: Love or Leash?

His jaw locked.

I hated how small my voice sounded. I wasn’t even trying to sound accusatory. I was just trying to understand.

"You had eyes on ," I whispered. "The mont I walked into that suite the first night... you knew."

He still didn’t speak.

"Kael." My voice cracked this ti. "Say sothing."

He exhaled through his nose like he’d been holding in a scream. His voice ca out low. Flat. Dangerous.

"I told Niko to keep an eye on you."

I should’ve expected it. I did expect it. But it still hit different hearing it out loud. Like sothing broke open inside my chest and the air ca rushing out.

"For your safety," he added. "And for my sanity. I needed to know what Ash was planning. And then you walked into that place like you already belonged to her."

I blinked. "Belonged to—?"

He turned to fully, and I flinched—not because he raised his voice or his hand, but because of what I saw in his eyes.

Rage.

Not the cold, asured kind he wielded in etings. Not the kind he used to make grown n piss themselves in boardrooms.

No. This was personal.

This was a different monster entirely.

"You didn’t tell she approached you," he said, voice low. Controlled. "You didn’t say a word about that suite, about that eting, and now my father’s fucking n pulling up on you and dragging you off."

"How was I supposed to know that would happen?" I snapped, my voice sharp, trembling. "And what was I supposed to do? Call you at every goddamn inconvenience? Cry for help when soone breathes too close? I can handle myself, Kael."

"That’s not the point, Aria," he said, his voice breaking into sothing cracked. "That’s why I’m here."

And that’s when the bastard’s words ca rushing back like venom down my spine.

"He pretends to cherish. But consus instead. He presses until they break. And you, you’re breaking already, aren’t you?"

I couldn’t breathe. Why was I letting his words get to ?

Kael presence, all that rage and heat and care twisted into sothing I couldn’t hold, was suddenly too much. Too close. Too everywhere.

"I want to get down," I whispered.

He didn’t move.

His jaw clenched like he was chewing down the urge to scream. And then his voice dropped. Softer. Raw.

"Why are you doing this Aria?"

I turned my face away.

"I told you I’d handle Ashlyn. I told you I’d fix it."

His tone wasn’t cold anymore. It wasn’t calculated.

It was the kind of vulnerable that made want to claw my skin off.

The kind that made want to believe him. The kind I couldn’t afford to believe.

Because believing him ant hope. And hope ant pain. And I didn’t think I could take any more. I felt ridiculous. Like an emotionally stunted teenager who didn’t know how to express herself.

If I told him I loved him, then this would end right?

It sounded so easy and yet the words refused to co out of . Like saying them would ruin everything rather than fix it. Because what if Kael couldn’t love the way I needed it. What if I continued to feel suffocated like this. Or worst what if he never felt anything other than the satisfaction I gave him.

I opened my mouth to say sothing, anything, but then his phone rang.

He declined it without even looking.

It rang again.

"Kael," I whispered. "Just... answer it. We’ll talk later."

He ignored it. Again.

And when I reached for the door handle, he caught my wrist.

Not hard. Not rough. Just enough to stop .

"I know you don’t want to talk to ," he said, looking into like he could feel everything burning under my skin. "But stop pretending you’re made of stone. You don’t always have to act tough, Aria."

That one hit. Low. I felt my pride bleeding.

I yanked my hand free and looked at him, really looked. The way his shoulders were tight like he’d been holding in pain for days. The way his green eyes never left mine like he was morizing in case I disappeared.

The way he still saw .

Even when I wished he didn’t.

I didn’t respond. I didn’t need to. The silence between us was thick enough.

He exhaled hard through his nose, then said quietly, "I’ll drop you off."

And for once... I didn’t fight it.

But I didn’t speak either. This whole thing was truly ridiculous and still I could feel skin and bones hurting from the things I refused to say.

I just stared out the window, holding myself together by a thread, wondering if maybe I already broke and just hadn’t noticed yet.

...

Kael’s car rolled to a stop in front of my apartnt building.

I didn’t move.

I kept my hand on the door handle, but I couldn’t open it. Couldn’t force myself out. Couldn’t force anything out. Not my thoughts. Not my voice. Not even a breath that didn’t feel like it weighed a thousand fucking tons.

I stared out the windshield, watching the blurry glow of a distant streetlight flicker against the glass like it was trying to burn a hole through .

It couldn’t.

Because there was nothing left to burn.

I thought I loved him.

God, I’d been so sure of it. The way he touched like he knew . The way he looked at like I was the only real thing in a world full of bullshit.

But love... love wasn’t supposed to feel like a leash around your throat.

And maybe this wasn’t love. Maybe it was care. Deep, aching care. Maybe it was longing for a piece of sothing safe when everything else was on fire.

Because everything was on fire.

Olivia, gone.

Kaleb and Lily, gone too.

My father, alive.

And ?

I was just trying to keep the pieces of my sanity stitched together with bad coping chanisms and too much pride.

I felt stupid.

I felt like a fucking fool, thinking I could have sothing real when I’d barely sorted through the trauma clinging to my skin like smoke.

And maybe that was what Kael was. My distraction. My pause button. My false god. Every ti I was with him, it was like none of this shit mattered. Like I was soone else. Soone who smiled. Soone who kissed back. Soone who believed in sothing.

And I liked it.

So much that maybe I tricked myself into thinking it was love.

But love shouldn’t feel like I was constantly gasping for air.

Love shouldn’t make wonder if I was losing myself.

I let my head fall back against the headrest and shut my eyes, but it didn’t help. My thoughts were still clawing at the back of my skull.

Why couldn’t I figure myself out?

Why did I always feel like I was choking on my own hesitations?

What the fuck was I so afraid of?

Was it pride?

Or was it because the truth was , I was too damaged to be loved properly?

Too hollow inside. Too bruised in the places that mattered.

Maybe it’d be easier if I just... stopped. If I died. If all this weight just sank for good. No more questions. No more pretending to be okay. No more loving things that were never mine to begin with.

I looked over at Kael.

He hadn’t said anything.

He never did when I got like this. Like he could sll the storm inside and didn’t know whether to run from it or stand in the middle and let it wreck him too.

"I want the contract to end."

My voice ca out too calm. Too light for the way my insides were cracking wide open.

Kael blinked once. Just once.

But it was enough for to see it.

That shift.

That slow, dangerous shift in his entire body.

Like I’d said sothing that gutted him, but he wouldn’t bleed. Not here. Not now.

I didn’t look away.

I couldn’t.