Sweet Hatred Chapter 190: Done Running

ARIA

I barely touched my lunch.

Sarah didn’t comnt. She just talked about so campaign revamp and kept the space between us easy and undemanding. I appreciated that. I didn’t have the strength to pretend I was okay. Not today.

Not when my stomach felt like it was twisted into knots and all I could manage to swallow was the thick vanilla milkshake I ordered out of guilt for wasting the food. Even that felt too sweet, like it didn’t belong in the mouth of soone who was already rotting inside.

When we got back to the office, Rose gave a soft smile from behind her desk. She looked up from her computer, probably waiting to say sothing. Maybe a good afternoon. Maybe to tell he was here.

And I wanted to ask. God, I almost asked.

Is Kael in his office?

But the words lodged in my throat, thick and shaful. I just kept walking, clutching my drink like it was so kind of shield.

I wasn’t ready to see him. To face him. Not after how I left. Not after the way his face looked when that soap-opera played. Not when I was still trying to convince myself I didn’t miss him.

I sat at my desk and stared at my screen. My fingers hovered over the keyboard, then tapped the letter s over and over again. Just that one letter. I didn’t even know why.

S, s, s, s, s...

I was spiraling.

I hated that I wanted him. Hated that despite everything, despite the lies I told myself, the hurt, the power he held over , I still wanted to talk to him. Touch him. Sll his damn cologne. Feel sothing again.

But the sha wouldn’t leave. The voice in my head wouldn’t shut up. You humiliated yourself. You let him twist you inside out. You let him mark you and now what?

I checked the ti.

5:02 PM.

Close enough.

I stood too quickly, grabbed my bag, and practically ran for the exit before I could change my mind. But my steps slowed the second I stepped into the hall outside his office. My heart thumped loud and pathetic in my chest.

I stared at his door.

It looked like it always did. Cold. Closed. Untouched.

But sohow I felt him on the other side. I don’t know how, I just did. Like my skin recognized his shadow through the walls. Like so part of could sense him the way plants reach for the sun.

My hand hovered, stupid and shaking, too afraid to knock. Too ashad to try.

What would I even say?

Sorry I ran?

Sorry I’m weak?

Sorry I still want you even though I’m furious and scared and unraveling?

No. I couldn’t.

I walked away instead.

Ah. What a coward.

...

The apartnt was loud. Too many voices. Too much chaos the second I stepped in.

"Look who finally rembered we live under the sa roof," Olivia said from the kitchen, her voice that perfect mix of teasing and accusation.

I didn’t answer. I didn’t look at Michael, either. I could feel his judgnt from across the room, so smug glance, so low sigh. Like I was a punishnt he tolerated for Olivia’s sake.

I went straight to my room, locked the door behind , and let my forehead rest against it.

The silence was worse than their voices.

I dropped my bag. Stripped off my clothes. Walked into the shower and stayed there until the water turned cold, and even then, I didn’t move.

I pressed my palms to the tile and tried to breathe.

Tried to rember who I was before Kael Roman crawled into my veins and rewrote from the inside out.

When I finally stepped out, the steam clinging to like ghosts, I grabbed a towel and sat on the edge of my bed. And that’s when I saw it.

The paper.

The one he gave .

The address. The one my father had written and handed to Niko. The one Kael gave even after everything, like so part of him still wanted to find closure, even if it ant opening wounds neither of us could survive.

I’d been avoiding it for a month or two.

But not anymore.

I was done running.

I picked up my phone, stepped out of my room, and found Olivia sitting on the couch with Lily in her lap. I cleared my throat.

"Hey," I said.

She blinked at . "Hey."

"I need a favor. Tomorrow. I want you to co with sowhere."

She raised a brow. "Where?"

I held up the paper. My hand shook a little.

"I think it’s ti we found out what kind of man our father really is now."

.....

I didn’t sleep.

I closed my eyes, sure, but sleep never ca. Just shadows. Just the sa goddamn reel of nightmares on repeat.

Kael’s face when I walked away. My mother’s cold hands in her casket. My father’s voice which sounded low, cruel, and unfamiliar.

Over and over. On loop. Until I thought I’d scream.

By the ti the sun cracked through my window, I felt like sothing inside had been scraped raw. I dragged myself out of bed anyway. Got dressed like it was a performance. Simple blouse. Fitted pants. Nothing that scread vulnerable daughter about to confront a ghost.

I texted Rose.

~ I might be in late. Please shift my etings to afternoon.

Thanks.

She replied instantly.

~ Of course. Let know if you need anything.

I didn’t. I just needed this over with.

When I stepped out into the kitchen, Olivia was trying to wrestle Kaleb into his shoes. Michael stood near the counter, half-dressed in yesterday’s shirt, arguing with her about sothing mundane.

Probably another failed job interview. Or how she overcooked his eggs. Or how she "never listens." He always had sothing to complain about.

"Could you not do this right now?" Olivia hissed at him while pulling Kaleb’s backpack onto his shoulders.

Michael rolled his eyes. "Sure. Let’s pretend this isn’t the fifth ti you—"

"Michael," I snapped.

He froze instantly and shut up for once.

Kaleb ran up and hugged , his little arms warm and grounding. "You sll like soap," he said.

I kissed the top of his head. "You sll like trouble."

"Hehe," he bead.

By the ti he was out the door and the arguing quieted, Olivia turned to with a sigh.

"You sure about this?"

I nodded. "I have to be."