There were two things Rei knew he absolutely, irrevocably could not trust in this world:
One — any sentence that began with "Close your eyes, I have a surprise"
Two — Princess Seraphina’s definition of "normal."
Unfortunately, today began with both.
Rei was dragged out of bed at dawn by two maids wearing matching pink blindfolds (a fashion choice he chose not to question) and told, with great enthusiasm, that "Her Radiance requests your glorious presence in the garden for a surprise befitting your eternal bond."
That sounded like a romantic gesture. Which ant, in this house, it was probably a trap.
"I just woke up," Rei mumbled groggily. "I haven’t even brushed my teeth. Why am I being escorted like a hostage to the rose bushes?"
"It’s a ceremony, my lord," one maid chirped.
"A ceremony," Rei echoed, already dreading it. "Am I being buried alive this ti or is it more of a sacrificial fire-type ceremony?"
"No spoilers"
By the ti he stumbled into the garden, bleary-eyed and grumpy, Rei saw it and imdiately regretted everything.
The garden had been transford overnight into what could only be described as "royal wedding ets eldritch theatre."
Roses ford heart-shaped arches that shimred with light magic. Pink petals floated in the air like glittery pollen bombs. A harpist sat trembling under a gazebo, playing a lody that sounded suspiciously like a death march disguised as a love ballad.
In the center stood Princess Seraphina. Wearing a white lace gown that looked like it had been stolen from a celestial bride goddess’s closet. Her golden hair sparkled, her eyes were terrifyingly calm, slightly unstable eralds—glead with predatory delight.
"Oh gods," Rei whispered. "She’s doing it. She’s actually doing it."
She was standing beside a man in ceremonial robes—an elderly court mage who looked one terrified twitch away from fainting.
A podium stood between them with a floating crystal that recorded magical oaths.
Beside it? A second suit in white tuxedo with gold accents in Rei’s size.
[System Notification:
New System Mission!
"Eternal Vow Ceremony"
Objective: Accept Princess Seraphina’s renewal vows of love
Ti Limit: Imdiate
Penalty for Failure: Spontaneous Divine Lightning (Rated ⚡⚡⚡⚡/5 in Pain)
Reward: Temporary Peace Treaty (24 Hours of Yandere Truce) 1 Elixir of Sleep Without Fear]
"Oh. Great," Rei muttered, staring at the system window. "So I either play along or get struck by god-powered lightning. Love that for ."
"Rei" Seraphina called out sweetly. "You ca! Just in ti for our ceremony."
"Ceremony," Rei repeated numbly. "Seraphina, we are not married."
She smiled. "Yet."
The court mage coughed violently.
Rei noticed his hands were shaking as he held the crystal.
"Help ," the old man mouthed.
"I’m a hostage too, pal," Rei mouthed back.
Seraphina extended a hand. "Co, beloved. Let us renew the eternal bond of our soul-fused destinies."
Rei blinked. "Renew? That implies there was a ceremony before this."
"There was," she said serenely. "You were unconscious at the ti. It was very romantic."
"That is not how consent works!"
"You drooled a little during the vows. It was endearing."
"...I need a lawyer."
Seraphina snapped her fingers. Two maids appeared and forcibly began dressing Rei in the tuxedo.
He squird. "Can’t I at least shower first?!"
"No need," she said, eyes sparkling. "You always sll like divinity to "
"That’s the scent of fear and unwashed hair, Seraphina."
Once dressed, Rei was nudged—read: shoved—onto the ceremonial platform and the mage flinched as he approached.
"Ah, young master... I-I’m only doing this because she threatened to turn my grandchildren into squirrels—"
"Honestly, I get it. Just say the words. Let’s get zapped and go ho."
The mage cleared his throat. "We are gathered here today, under the terrifyingly cheerful eye of Her Radiance, to witness the binding of—um—eternal vows between Princess Seraphina and her chosen—victim—I an, beloved fiancé... Lord Rei."
Seraphina bead and Rei grimaced.
"Princess Seraphina, would you like to recite your vows?"
She stepped forward with regal poise, pulling out a scroll roughly the length of a bedsheet.
"I, Seraphina Lux Aurelia von Felwinter, crown princess of the eternal empire and rightful claimant to Rei’s heart, vow upon the stars, the gods, the blood pact sealed in our childhood, and that one ti he made smile during tea, that I shall bind myself to thee eternally—"
"Oh boy."
"—in passion, in battle, in obsessive affection, and in occasional overreactions fueled by love-induced madness."
The mage coughed in fear. Rei stared at the floating crystal, wondering if it would explode if he started screaming.
"I vow to eliminate all threats to our love with blade, poison, or sheer willpower, and to keep a log of everyone who looks at you for longer than three seconds."
She turned to Rei, eyes gleaming. "Your turn, my darling."
"I didn’t write any vows."
She smiled. "That’s okay. You can just say ’I accept’ and it’ll be legally, spiritually, and karmically binding."
The system pinged again.
[System Warning:
Lightning Strike Imminent.
Ten Seconds Remaining Before Compliance Enforcent.]
"...I accept," Rei grunted.
A chi rang from the crystal and a small puff of golden light shimred.
Lightning cracked in the sky—then abruptly reversed and went back into the clouds.
"Congratulations," the mage said with a thousand-yard stare. "You’re now soul-vowed for eternity."
"I feel like I sold my soul for a granola bar," Rei muttered.
Seraphina cupped his face and kissed his forehead. "Don’t worry. I’ll cherish your soul forever."
"That’s the part I’m worried about."
"Now—celebration~!"
She clapped once, and maids wheeled out a four-tiered cake shaped like a cathedral. Then it exploded, literally exploded.
Frosting splattered across the lawn as the top tier detonated in a puff of sparkly confetti and actual fire.
"What the—?!"
"Oh," Seraphina said calmly. "That was ant to reveal the engagent ring hidden inside."
Rei looked down at his frosting-covered tux. "It revealed my impending ntal breakdown."
Maids scrambled to clean the ss while the harpist fainted behind the gazebo.
Seraphina turned to Rei and extended a small box.
Inside was a platinum ring with a heart-shaped ruby the size of a chicken nugget.
"It’s infused with tracking magic, mood detection, and a miniature alarm system in case you wander too far."
Rei stared at it.
"...You put a Fitbit in my engagent ring."
"It glows when you’re sad!"
"I’m sad right now and I’m glowing."
"Perfect!"
She slipped it onto his finger.
It humd softly then a voice whispered in his mind: "Love confird and Location locked."
Rei turned to the mage. "Is there any way to annul a magical vow through interpretive dance or legal loophole?"
The old man was already gone—he’d bolted the mont the lightning missed him.
Actually he was Smart.
Seraphina leaned on his shoulder. "I love when we renew our vows. It keeps the passion alive."
"This is the first ti."
"And there will be many more, The next one will be underwater."
"...I can’t swim."
"Then I’ll hold you."
[System Notification:
Temporary Peace Treaty (Yandere Truce: 24 hours) Activated
Enjoy Your Brief Mont of Safety™
—Side effects may include: creeping dread, false hope, and romantic PTSD]
Rei sighed, staring up at the now lightning-less sky.
"Just twenty-four hours," he muttered. "I can do that. I just have to survive one day."
Seraphina smiled. "I booked us a dinner reservation, a sword-fighting session, and a hot spring dip. They all are private and all couples-only."
Rei’s eye twitched. "Define private."
"You, , and twenty guards watching to make sure no one interrupts our love."
"...So prison."
"With rose petals!"
And sowhere in the distance, thunder rolled again—just in case Rei got any funny ideas.
To be continued...
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