Rei woke up to the sensation of sothing soft pressing against his lips. For one horrifying mont, he thought it was another pillow ambush. But no It was a spoon.
A spoon elegantly guided by the Demon Queen Lucivella herself, sitting at his bedside like a devoted wife on honeymoon.
"Eat, my love," she purred, her golden eyes glowing with tenderness that would’ve lted any heart not already scarred with trauma. "You must regain your strength. Yesterday’s pillow diplomacy was... exhausting for you."
Rei blinked blearily. "...Is this oatal?"
Lucivella smiled. "Yes. With just a hint of your favorite honey. I sent three battalions to retrieve it."
[System Notification: Resource Update – Three Villages Razed For Honey.]
[At least your breakfast is authentic, farm-to-table.]
Rei choked on the spoonful. "YOU DESTROYED VILLAGES FOR BREAKFAST?!"
She dabbed his lips with a silk napkin. "Husband, you mustn’t trouble yourself with details. What matters is that you are fed, protected, and adored."
The door slamd open.
"HE IS NOT YOUR HUSBAND!" six furious voices roared in unison.
And just like that, breakfast was over.
By so miracle—or perhaps through Lucivella’s overwhelming aura of inevitability—the brides agreed to a "peace conference" in the Demon Queen’s temporary war camp.
The camp was not a humble tent, ’Oh no’. Overnight, Lucivella had conjured a floating obsidian fortress that hovered above the smoldering ruins of the Academy. Its throne room was a cathedral of shadows, velvet drapes, and chandeliers that bled candlelight.
At the head table: Lucivella, serene.
At her right hand: Rei, chained by etiquette rather than iron.
Opposite them: six brides, twitching with suppressed murder.
Lucivella spoon-fed Rei grapes between sentences. "He is ours, after all."
Rei tried to mumble a protest but ended up choking on the grape skin.
Drakana slamd her fist. The table cracked. "RELEASE HIM, DEMON QUEEN!"
Seraphina’s holy flas ignited. "I shall purify this profane sham of a marriage!"
Velveria’s shadows writhed like serpents, whispering curses. "No throne but mine shall seat him."
Lilia bared her rosary, eyes glowing fanatically. "The goddess herself forbids your claim. Rei belongs to !"
Emilia twirled her parasol, smiling politely while slipping powder into the sugar bowl. "Ara~ peace talks are so delightful when everyone dies of poison afterward."
Rosette simply polished a knife against her sleeve, her eyes never leaving Lucivella’s throat.
Rei slamd his palms on the table. "STOP IT! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PEACE TALK!"
The chandelier trembled, the wineglasses shattered and then... everything exploded.
The first blast ca from Drakana. Her dragon fla scorched across the table, turning silverware into molten puddles.
Seraphina countered with holy fire. The collision ripped a hole in the fortress wall, blasting three entire towers into the horizon like burning dice.
Velveria’s shadows surged, snapping the remains of the ceiling like brittle twigs. Lilia’s divine ward clashed with it, tearing the fortress apart with a blast of golden lightning.
Emilia politely clapped her hands. "Such spirit~ Shall I add sothing?" She tossed her poisoned sugar bowl into the fray. It detonated into a mist of corrosive sweetness, lting half the banquet hall.
Rosette moved silently, planting blade after blade into strategic beams. One after another, wings of the floating fortress snapped and fell like dominoes—straight onto the surrounding castles of neighboring kingdoms.
BOOM.
BOOM.
BOOM.
BOOM.
BOOM.
Five castles crumbled in succession, exploding into dust clouds visible across the continent.
Rei clutched his head. "WHY DO DIPLOMACY SESSIONS KEEP DESTROYING INFRASTRUCTURE?!"
[System Report: Property Damage Updated – 5 Royal Castles, 1 Fortress, 37,000 teacups destroyed.]
[On the bright side, real estate prices just dropped. Buy low, marry high.]
Lucivella, perfectly calm amidst the apocalypse, stroked Rei’s hair as stone rained from the ceiling. "Shhh. Don’t worry, love. I will build you five more castles by morning."
Rei scread into the falling rubble. "I DIDN’T WANT EVEN ONE CASTLE!"
The shouting match reached its climax when Lilia stood atop the table, scripture glowing in her hands, declaring, "By divine law, Rei shall be wed to , and only !"
Drakana countered, roaring, "NO! BY BLOOD AND FIRE, HE IS MINE!"
Velveria raised her shadows like a tidal wave. "He belongs to darkness eternal."
Seraphina shrieked prayers.
Emilia tossed cupcakes laced with explosives.
Rosette ard herself with forks dipped in demonbane poison.
And through it all, Rei sat at the center, face pale, chest tight, caught in the haze of smoke and feathers.
Then he sneezed.
"A-Ahh-CHOOO!"
Silence.
Whole conference froze.
Lucivella’s eyes glowed with divine glee. She raised her hand, and suddenly a marriage contract materialized in fla, bound by infernal law.
"See?" she purred. "He has spoken the word of assent."
"WHAT?!" Rei clutched his nose. "I JUST SNEEZED!"
[System Alert: Engagent Contract Validated.]
[Congratulations, Idiot. A sneeze counts as consent in Demon Queen law.]
Rei’s scream echoed through the heavens.
The other brides reacted instantly.
Drakana’s wings tore through the fortress wall. "YOU WILL NOT STEAL HIM!"
Lilia’s aura ignited, holy chains snaking across the floor. "I WILL BURN YOUR KINGDOM TO THE GROUND!"
Seraphina lifted her staff skyward. "HE IS MY PRINCE ALONE!"
Velveria’s shadows shrieked. "Let the world drown in darkness before I yield him!"
Emilia’s smile turned sharp. "Ara~ then let’s settle this with proper bloodshed."
Rosette? Already gone. Her knives were flying toward Lucivella’s throne.
Lucivella flicked her wrist. The blades lted mid-air. The fortress stabilized itself around her aura.
And she declared, in a voice that rang across the continent:
"Very well. If you seek war, I shall grant it. Not to conquer your lands. Not for politics. But to crown Rei as my Demon King!"
Her voice shook the skies. Armies across the world trembled. Nobles fainted. Demons cheered.
And Rei?
He slumped forward on the table, face in his hands. "Why . Why always ."
[System Notification: Global Event Triggered – "War of Wives."]
[System Update: Mission Route Confird – Crowned as Demon King Candidate.]
[Don’t worry. Your coronation will be lovely. Assuming you survive the bachelorette war.]
In the aftermath, as fires burned in the distance and armies mobilized under conflicting banners, Rei sat alone in the wreckage of yet another ruined throne room.
Lucivella knelt before him, her hand cupping his cheek. "I don’t want your kingdom. I don’t want your throne. I don’t even want your people. I want you. My husband. My king."
For a mont—just a mont—her eyes looked almost human.
Rei’s chest tightened. She was terrifying, yes. A final boss and demon queen but she wasn’t lying. That scared him more than the fire.
He whispered, "...Why does everyone keep calling theirs?"
Lucivella kissed his forehead. "Because you are."
And the world erupted into war.
[System Notification: Story Arc Transition – Arc 4 "The Demon Queen’s Claim" has begun.]
[Main Quest Updated: Survive Global War of Wives.]
[Sub-Mission: Do Not Sneeze Again.]
[Honestly, you had one job.]
Rei groaned into his hands. "I hate my life."
And sowhere in the distance, five kingdoms began to burn.
The so-called "peace conference" had ended in ruins. Again.
Rei sat on the lone surviving chair, surrounded by feathers, rubble, and smoke. His hair was frizzed from holy fire, his clothes torn from dragon claws, and he still had grape juice staining his collar.
He muttered like a broken record: "Why . Why . Why ."
Behind him, armies were already mobilizing. Demon ssengers swooped down from the skies, kneeling before Lucivella. "Your Majesty, three million troops await your word!"
Lucivella waved them off like a mother shooing noisy children. "Later. My husband requires peace. Bring him pillows and silence."
[System Observation: Priorities Detected – War postponed for cuddle ti.]
[Maybe your greatest weapon is naps.]
Rei buried his face in his hands. "This can’t be happening. The world’s about to plunge into war over—over—" He flailed. "—over my sneeze?!"
"Not just any sneeze," Lucivella corrected softly, kneeling beside him. Her aura dimd, like moonlight instead of wildfire. "It was destiny."
"DESTINY?! IT WAS DUST! THERE WERE FEATHERS IN THE AIR!"
Lucivella stroked his cheek as if he had just declared poetry. "Yes. Fate often hides in the simplest things."
Rei felt his sanity peeling off like old wallpaper.
anwhile, across the shattered fortress, the six brides huddled together amidst debris and singed tablecloths.
"She’s dangerous," Seraphina spat, wings still smoldering.
"She’s mine to crush," Drakana growled, her claws twitching.
"She dares challenge ," Velveria hissed, shadows licking her heels.
"Unforgivable," Lilia whispered, eyes gleaming like a fanatic starved for holy war.
Emilia opened her parasol with a click. "Ara~ then we all agree? War."
Rosette, silent, sharpened her last surviving fork against a fallen beam.
In eerie unison, all six turned their gaze toward Rei—who sneezed again in the distance.
[System Notification: War Council Forming – Six Fiancées vs One Demon Queen.]
[Place your bets, gentlen. Spoiler: You lose either way.]
Rei stood, trembling, pointing at the sky like a man accusing the heavens. "I REFUSE TO BE THE PRIZE IN A GLOBAL WIFE WAR!"
Thunder cracked and the lightning split the horizon.
Armies roared in unison, marching under banners painted with his face.
And the Demon Queen only held him tighter, whispering in his ear like a lover and conqueror both: "Then sit back, my king. Let win you the world."
Rei scread into the collapsing sky but the world did not care.
To be continued...
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