The Grand Hall of the United Continental Assembly(A.K.A. The World Congress of Marriage Rights). This Grand Hall was supposed to be a solemn place of diplomacy. Marble pillars rose like giants, banners of every kingdom flapped proudly, and enchanted crystals humd with international gravitas. It was the kind of place where treaties were signed, wars ended, and once—famously—an argunt about cheese tariffs lasted seven years but today... today it was a wedding tribunal.
Representatives of dozens of kingdoms, sects, guilds, unions, cults, and one very loud poultry rights delegation filled the chamber, each brandishing scrolls, swords, or flaming torches (depending on their cultural leanings).
At the center podium, under a spotlight of divine judgnt, stood Rei Velvet. Or rather, he sat slumped on a chair, bound by ceremonial ribbons "to prevent sudden elopent," sweating buckets under the gaze of the entire civilized world.
Behind him stood the real source of the chaos: Lady Lucivella Nightshade, Demon Lord Supre, silver-haired beauty, and self-declared fiancée. She smiled like a saint who had personally invented sin.
On Rei’s other side were his so-called "childhood friends." Lilia, Seraphina, Emilia, Drakana, and Rosette all glared daggers that could pierce steel. Together, they radiated enough murderous intent to power a small nation’s energy grid for a decade.
The Congress bells rang three tis and thus began the most important debate in history:
"Is Rei Velvet really engaged to the Demon Lord?"
[Main Mission Extension!]
[Survive the World Congress of Marriage Rights.]
[Reward: Global political stability. Maybe.]
[Penalty: Accidental declaration of world war.]
[You’re about to ruin geopolitics forever. Congratulations.]
The High Speaker, an ancient elf with eyebrows so long they had their own voting rights, cleared his throat. "Let the record show: Today’s ergency session is convened because one (1) Rei Velvet allegedly accepted an engagent to one (1) Demon Lord."
Gasps echoed through the chamber.
An ambassador from the Sunlight Theocracy banged his staff. "Absurd! Heresy! Abomination!"
A dwarven envoy from the Iron Forge Union shouted back. "Nay! If the lad can ta a demon, he deserves dals, not condemnation!"
The poultry delegation squawked. "Cluck! Cluck!"
Rei raised a trembling hand. "Um... I-I think this is a big misunderst—"
Lucivella touched his shoulder. "Yes, my love?" she whispered, loud enough for the magical microphones to pick it up.
Half the assembly fainted. The other half scread bloody murder.
And Rei scread, "PLEASE DON’T SAY IT LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF THEM!"
[Public Blush Rating: Catastrophic.]
[World Stability Gauge: -27%.]
The Speaker gestured gravely. "Rei Velvet, son of Duke Velvet, you are hereby summoned to explain yourself. Do you, or do you not, claim the Demon Lord as your fiancée?"
Rei’s brain short-circuited. Every eye drilled into him. Every magical quill poised above enchanted parchnt, ready to etch his words into eternal record.
"I... I... um..." Rei stamred, clutching at his collar like a drowning man. His legs shook so violently the ceremonial ribbons nearly untied themselves.
Lucivella leaned close again. "Say yes, darling."
Lilia hissed, "Say no, my beloved!"
Drakana roared, "Say nothing, mate, I’ll smash them all!"
Rosette whispered in monotone, "Say whatever, I’ll alter the minutes later."
Rei’s mouth flapped like a fish. "I... we... she’s... we’re not... I never... it was an accident—"
The chamber erupted in screams.
"An accident?!" shouted a noble from the Empire.
"He admits cohabitation!" cried a cleric from the Holy See.
"Cluck!" shrieked the poultry delegation.
"Wait, no!" Rei wailed. "I didn’t an—"
Lucivella, perfectly calm, stroked his cheek with one pale finger. "He ant he accidentally fell in love. Isn’t it romantic?"
The BLUSHOTER hidden in the corner shattered into sparks and Rei’s eyes rolled back into his head. Then he fainted.
[Rei has chosen the "Classic Protagonist Faint Escape."]
[Success Chance: 0%.]
[Congrats, now you’ll wake up in worse conditions.]
The Speaker slamd his staff. "Order! ORDER!"
But order was impossible. The elven delegation declared that interspecies marriage must be ratified imdiately.
The dwarves demanded the right to brew beer for the wedding. The Theocracy called for holy war.
The poultry delegation set a table on fire.
Ambassadors hurled scrolls like throwing knives. Priests summoned angels. Soone summoned a goat.
By the ti Rei’s limp body slid sideways off his chair, the World Congress of Marriage Rights had officially devolved into World Riot of Marriage Wrongs.
Lucivella kissed his forehead as the world collapsed around them. "Sleep well, fiancé. I’ll handle the politics while you dream."
Her aura flared, demonic energy spilling across the marble. Half the diplomats fainted again.
The other half swore eternal vengeance.
anwhile, Rei snored quietly, dreaming of a peaceful life that had never once existed.
[Congress Status: Failed.]
[World Stability: -87%.]
[Global Affection War: Declared.]
[Achievent Unlocked: "Marriage Crisis Summit."]
[Truly, you are a diplomat for the ages.]
The mont Rei collapsed, the chamber detonated into levels of pandemonium not seen since the infamous "International Porridge Debate" that had bankrupted three kingdoms and destroyed the oat market for decades.
Lucivella caught him before his head hit the marble, cradling him like a fragile treasure. "See? Even fainting, he seeks the safety of my arms. Proof enough of our union."
"BLASPHEMY!" howled the Theocracy’s archbishop, his beard glowing with holy light. "You have ensorcelled the boy! His soul cries out for purification!"
"Bah!" shouted the dwarves. "That’s just called love. Happens to all of us after the fifth barrel!"
The poultry delegation rose as one and scread in harmony, "CLUCK-CLUCK-CLUCK!" before releasing a squadron of enchanted roosters into the rafters.
The Speaker, whose eyebrows were now visibly vibrating with stress, slamd his staff again. "Order! OR—AAAAH, NOT THE BIRDS!"
A rooster swooped down and stole his wig.
Inside his unconscious mind, Rei found himself floating in a dreamscape of velvet curtains and glowing "EXIT" signs that all pointed in opposite directions.
"Ugh... Am I dead again?" he muttered.
[No, You’re just dramatically fainting like an underpaid stage actor.]
[Dream Realm Stability: Questionable.]
Rei squinted. "Wait. If this is a dream... then can I finally escape marriage drama?"
The System conjured a giant glowing "HAHA NO" above his head.
Suddenly, the dreamscape filled with brides in veils—Lilia with scissors, Seraphina with a flaming contract, Drakana with a dragon-sized wedding band, Rosette with a poison-dipped veil, and Lucivella floating on a demonic throne.
They all spoke in unison: "Say yes, Rei."
"AAAAAAAAA—" Rei scread, curling into a ball.
[Sweet dreams.]
Back in Reality.
"Enough!" cried Lilia, slamming her hand against the marble table so hard the enchantnts flickered. "This Congress is a sham! Rei is my betrothed by family contract. This so-called Demon Lord is fabricating lies!"
Lucivella smiled, serene as ever. "Then why does he rest in my lap?"
The Demon Lord gently adjusted Rei’s hair like she was tucking a child into bed. The contrast between her tenderness and the demonic aura lting the floor was enough to break several diplomats’ brains.
Emilia leapt up, pointing her sword straight at Lucivella. "Release him now, fiend! Or I’ll... I’ll... I’ll sue you in the Supre Court of Matrimonial Disputes!"
Gasps erupted. Even the poultry delegation fell silent.
The Speaker’s eyebrows straightened in alarm. "You wouldn’t dare invoke... the Court?"
Emilia’s eyes glead with reckless determination. "Try ."
The Elves imdiately drafted a thousand-page andnt to protect "botanical fiancé rights."
The Dwarves began passing around a ceremonial keg, declaring a toast to "whoever survives the honeymoon."
The Theocracy lit incense and threatened to exorcise Lucivella on the spot.
The Cult of Eternal Tentacles announced that Rei had been their Chosen Groom since last Tuesday.
The Poultry Delegation stord the Speaker’s podium, demanding Rei marry their "Chicken Goddess" to ensure diplomatic cluck-stability.
Lucivella rely patted Rei’s cheek. "You see? Everyone wants a piece of him. But he is mine."
[Diplomatic Situation: Broken.]
[Stability Score: -102%. Mathematically impossible, yet here we are.]
[Marriage Candidates on Official Record: 27 and counting.]
[Congratulations, you’re now the most eligible political disaster in history.]
As the assembly spiraled into fistfights, spell duels, and poultry-based terrorism, Lucivella stood, lifting Rei effortlessly in her arms.
Her voice cut through the chaos like a silver blade. "If the world cannot decide who he belongs to, then allow to simplify matters. He belongs to . End of discussion."
Her aura surged, crushing marble into dust. Several weaker diplomats fainted again, their notes catching fire.
Rosette, watching silently from the shadows, scribbled in her secret journal: "mo: Assassination attempts now classified as suicide missions. Must adapt strategy."
Lilia shrieked. Seraphina summoned heavenly fire. Drakana cracked her knuckles with enough force to create shockwaves. Emilia unsheathed her sword for the tenth ti in five minutes.
And Rei? Rei snored softly against Lucivella’s shoulder, mumbling in his dream: "I just... wanted... peace..."
The Speaker, wigless and bleeding from rooster scratches, croaked into the microphone: "This session... is adjourned... until further notice."
The official scribes wrote it down as: "Adjourned due to catastrophic fiancé-related apocalypse."
The bells of the Congress rang once, then shattered under the pressure of divine/demonic/hormonal energies.
And thus the World Congress of Marriage Rights ended—not with treaties, but with blood, feathers, and one unconscious protagonist whose romantic status had just destabilized an entire planet.
[Main Mission Outco: Failure... or possibly "Genre-Appropriate Success."]
[Reward: A lifeti of nightmares.]
[Hidden Achievent Unlocked: "World War Fiancée."]
[Sleep tight, Rei. When you wake up, you’ll wish you fainted harder.]
To be continued...
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