*Bianca*
I didn’t breathe a sigh of relief until I knew Leo had left for work. I laid a hand over my stomach, feeling too sick even to get up. I mull over the lies, and I’m downright shocked Leo actually believed.
Either I’m getting better at lying or Leo’s too in love with to even question it at this point.
Or maybe there’s a third option.
Maybe he didn’t even want to entertain the thought of being pregnant.
I felt cold and hot at the sa ti as I buried my head under the covers, struggling not to throw up, even with an empty stomach. It’s not a stomach bug, or it could be depending on the way you look at it.
“You’re killing , kid,” I sighed as I rubbed my nauseous belly where my child was growing by the day.
I was lucky that the holiday break had officially started so I didn’t have any school to attend. I already didn’t feel good from the morning sickness but the thought of trying to pull myself out of bed and go to school. All the while hiding how much I wanted to puke my brains out didn’t sound like my idea of a good ti.
But the holiday break also ant I didn’t have anything to pass the ti with. I pulled out my phone, aimlessly scrolling through videos that all blurred together until my body finally pulled into a light sleep.
By the ti I wake, it’s nearly afternoon and I still feel exhausted. I’m nauseous and hungry at the sa ti, too cold and too hot, tired and awake - all of it just feels like too much.
So I lay there, shutting my eyes and holding my belly, ignoring the quick check-ins from the maids and blocking out the world around .
I was unsure how long I could hide my pregnancy, considering the biggest symptoms were now showing up. Once my belly got any bigger, it would be impossible to hide it from anybody, let alone Leo.
But I still didn’t feel ready.
Admitting it to myself was one thing but I felt like if I told Leo, it would make it all too real. We’d have to start making plans, thinking about the future and I’m not ready for that yet.
I didn’t want to give up on my education - it’s what I ca here for. I didn’t want to give up on my career like most mothers have to. Not to ntion all the Mafia bullshit that I don’t even know how to handle.
I’d never wanted to be a part of anything as insane as the Mafia, Italian or Arican, or fucking Chinese. But I loved Leo with all of my heart and I already loved the little bean inside of .
Everything was too conflicting, too much to deal with so I kept my silence.
I knew it was wrong, childish even to keep sothing so important from Leo but I don’t see any other choice. I keep telling myself I’ll tell him when I’m ready, when I thought he wouldn’t freak out over it but I’m starting to think that day will never co.
What will Leo decide to do? Will he make join the mafia? Keep under lock and key for the rest of my life? My freedoms have always been important to - that’s why I was already frustrated with the guards and security caras and asures.
Wouldn’t it only be worse once Leo knew I was carrying his child?
I hadn’t even considered marriage but the thought of being a mafia wife was unsettling. All I knew was what I’d seen in movies and TV and none of it painted a flattering picture. Anxious and reeling in my thoughts, I grab my phone on impulse.
I didn’t know what to expect considering my situation but I knew soone who might have the answers I was seeking.
I dialed her number, fingers tapping across the screen before I put it up to my ear to listen. She’d always been a bit spotty when it ca to answering her phone and now I guess I knew why but I really really hoped she would co through this ti.
“Hello? Bianca? What’d you call for?” Mia answered after only the second ring, sounding utterly concerned for . The relief I felt as I heard her voice shook down to the core and tears sprouted up in my eyes.
God, I hated these emotional outbursts, I thought as I rubbed my eyes and focused back on my cousin.
“I, um, just needed soone to talk to,” I said hesitantly, unsure of how to bring up the topic out of left field without her getting suspicious. My mother already knew of my pregnancy but I wasn’t sure I wanted my cousin or any other family mbers to know.
Especially since Leo didn’t know yet.
“Okay, shoot then, paperotta,” Mia said and I cringed as I could practically hear her grinning on the other line.
“Yeah, no. I will tolerate it from my mother but not from you, Mia,” I was quick to shut that down, ignoring her laugh in response. “So, hypothetically, what exactly do you do for, uh, you know, your husband?”
“Excuse ?”
I winced, realizing how utterly la and awkward that had co off and she sounded utterly baffled and a tiny bit offended.
“Sorry, I didn’t an it that way. I just ant like your husband, Al, he’s the leader of the mafia, right? And I know you’ve been involved with that as his wife so I’m just wondering, hypothetically, what that entails...”
I trailed off, realizing how stupid I sounded but just as I opened my mouth to tell her never mind and hang up, Mia stumped with a question I wasn’t expecting.
“Did Leo propose to you?” She asked, suspiciously.
“No!” I denied it, truthfully. I wasn’t even sure that’s what I wanted at this point. “I just...you know, I saw all those Arican movies and stuff and I’m just curious. This is stupid, you don’t have to--”
I tried to pull the parachute and bail but Mia was a lot sharper than I gave her credit for.
“Uh-huh, Arican movies,” Mia said, completely not believing , “But if you really want to know. Most wives of the previous Don’s beca housewives. Tending to the house and children, living in luxury, and keeping their hands out of the dirty sses.
“Even with the wealth, though, from what I understand, they’ve rarely gotten to live public lifestyles. Even just marrying soone in the Mafia can put you at risk, so it’s important, especially for the Don’s wife, that she be kept safe. Or so nefarious asshole can use her as a hostage or worse, end her.”
It wasn’t anything I didn’t already know. But it still sent a shot of cold straight through my bloodstream. I laid a hand over my belly, fearful of my baby’s life now. I wasn’t even married to Leo.
Would soone really be cruel enough to use or our baby as a hostage?
I listened intently, horrified as Mia described the stories of the previous Dons. How Elio, who’d I heard so much about left once their child was kidnapped. How Alessandro’s brother fell in love with his enemy’s daughter and left the business once she beca pregnant.
Each story was more horrible than the last, but it all seed to co down to the Don choosing to leave and pass down the mantle to keep their families safe.
“Alessandro and I don’t have kids and we like it that way,” Mia told , rather cold and matter-of-fact about the whole thing. “I choose to get involved in the business rather than sit at ho to be a housewife. That was never really my style. Of course, I still get pushback from the older generations on how involved I can be but my word is as respected as Alessandro for most of the organization.”
“And you’re okay with that?” I asked in terror. “Constantly having your life threatened? Aren’t you scared of losing your husband every ti a new threat pops up? Putting your family and friends in danger, all the hiding and lying and sneaking around. It’s too much! Don’t you ever think about leaving, going sowhere none of this can follow you! It’s selfish, but what’s wrong with that? Wasn’t it selfish for them to bring you into this in the first place? I can’t bring my baby into this!”
Silence t on the other end as I panted heavily from my rant. It took half a second before I realized what I had blurted out.
“I an-” I tried to do damage control but it was too late.
“It’s okay, Bia,” Mia said softly, “I’m not stupid.”
I trembled, trying not to burst into tears as I whispered, “I don’t know what to do.”
“You haven’t told him?”
“No,” I admitted shafully. “I just can’t. There’s too much at stake. What if he doesn’t want us?”
“Then you co back ho,” Mia said simply, “You co ho and raise your baby here at ho with the family. Alessandro and I have more than enough money and assets to provide for you no matter what you choose to do in the future. You’re family, Bia. I will always be here for you.”
“Thanks,” I sniffed, shutting my eyes. A tiny bit of relief word its way into my chaotic heart, and I felt peaceful for the first ti in weeks, knowing that I had options. “But I don’t want to give up on Leo yet. I...I have to tell him. To figure this out. No matter how much easier it would be, I can’t just run away every ti things get hard.”
“If that’s what you want,” Mia said, “But I know a little about what’s going on over there, Bia. It’s dangerous. Why don’t you co visit over here until things settle down? Then you can go back and discuss things with Leo.”
“That’s okay,” I told her with a small smile. Having the support of my favorite cousin made feel a lot better but despite everything, I didn’t want to leave until I figured all this out with Leo. “I’ll talk with Leo later tonight, tell him everything. Then we’ll see what we should do going forward. Thanks for talking to , Mia.”
“Of course,” Mia chuckled, “Anything for my favorite cousin. Keep in the loop, okay? Aunty has been bugging about Christmas plans all week so you might want to give her a call too.”
“I will. Bye.”
Once we hung up, I was surprised with how much better I felt. Even if the threat still lood over and the baby, I felt better knowing I had people on my side.
I’d barely got to my feet when my phone buzzed again and I frowned as I noticed Isabela had texted .
‘Can we et up?’
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