*Bianca*
Last night was a long night. After hearing what I heard and running back upstairs to our room, I did not know what to do. I finally fell into a fitful sleep, missing Leo all night long. Even in sleep, I knew he was not there. This morning when I woke, he was not there either.
At first, I was not concerned because I had my own problems. The morning sickness had attacked with a vengeance, and I beca quite sick. I swear I did not understand how so much could co up in the mornings because I felt hollowed out.
I stood from my morning appointnt with the porcelain goddess herself and brushed my teeth and washed my face. I looked at my hair and realized that I probably should go ahead and take another shower.
I took a shower and restyled my hair, put on clothes for the day, and made my way downstairs on shaky legs. The coffee that was in the pot slled so good, but I knew my stomach would not be able to take it.
Instead, I nibbled on dry toast and made myself a cup of dark black tea. It soothed my throat from puking my guts up, and the bread put a little sothing on my stomach. So, I would not get sick again.
Still, I had not run into Leo yet. I figured he was out early or had he left last night and never co ho? I looked at my watch and realized if I did not get a move on I would be late for class.
I did not really wanna go. I was depressed and unhappy, and I felt like going back to sleep because no matter what ti of day it was I was always tired. Maybe I could eat lunch on campus and maybe going to school would make my mood better.
I grabbed my book bag from upstairs, shoved my purse into it and headed for the door to the garage. I texted the driver because it was pointless to keep fighting with Leo over that right now.
I might as well let him take into school instead of giving Leo a heart attack and trying to get there myself. OK, so maybe I was trying to make things a little bit easier for myself as well as Leo. Maybe if I let the driver drive around like a good little girl Leo would forget that I was hiding sothing from him.
Yeah, right, my brain interjected as my heart squeezed a little. I rembered the scowl on Leo’s face, the anger in his voice, and decided that maybe the driver was a good idea. I heard the garage door open and Luis’s voice call out to from the doorway and walked over to him. Let him take my book bag and climbed into the backseat.
I was tired and did not feel like fighting today. So, I was going to be docile.
After my first class was over, I decided to call Leo. I had a little ti before I had to go to my next class.
There was no answer, just voicemail. I wanted to slam the phone down, but I left a sweet ssage.
“Hello Leo, I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. I did not see you this morning so I’m a little concerned. Call back when you get a chance.”
I could be nice. I told myself. I kept checking my phone for ssages. Between classes as I walked to them, I stared down at my phone, but there were no ssages coming in from Leo. Throughout the day, I kept making silly mistakes in my classes. I would type a word wrong or give the wrong answer to a question that was asked of .
It was not like to be so distracted in my classes, but I did not have a choice. Everything about this day felt wrong. Feeling like a fool, for giving into my instincts and calling him yet again, I called his number at lunchti.
“Leo here,“ he said, his tone firm and aloof.
He had to know it was because just like for my na ca up on his phone whenever I called. I had made sure to put my number in his contacts when we first started this whole relationship. There was no reason for him to answer the phone as if he did not know who I was.
“How are you doing?“ I asked, wanting to start the conversation on a good foot.
“Do you need sothing?“ he asked.
“I just wanted to make sure you were OK. I’m sorry about last—”
“I really do not have ti for this right now,“ he said, his tone curt, and then there was nothing.
“Hello,“ I said into the phone. Then I turned it around to look at it and saw that the call had ended from his side. Did he just hang up in my face? I stared at the phone for a mont as if it had turned into a hissing snake in my hand.
Yes, Leo had just hung up in my face. He did not have ti for , he had said. Everything in wanted to just fall apart right there. But I was tired of falling apart over Leo. Last night, I understood his anger. I think I would’ve been a little pissed myself if he had pulled the stunt I had.
Today, no, I do not think so. There was no reason for his brusqueness with . Regardless of what was going on between him and his n and with the business, he should not take it out on . Hanging up in my face, that was a dick move.
Tears stung the back of my eyes, and I could feel my nose prickling, but I would not let them fall. I would not stand here and fall apart because my boyfriend was being an asshole. You’re stronger than this, Bianca, I scolded myself silently. I just did not feel strong right now. I did not want to have to be strong.
I sniffed and wiped my eyes and nose with the pads of my fingers to make sure that my eyes were clear and my nose was not dripping. No, none of the tears have fallen, and my nose was under control. I can do this, I told myself as I walked out of the café that I had gone into to have lunch.
I was not going to let this get to . I had other things that I could do. I did not have to wait around for Leo anymore. I had friends in the city now. An idea ca to and so I called Isabel and added Taylor to the call.
“Hey, what are you guys doing tonight?“ I asked.
I tried to sound cheerful. I’m not sure if I accomplished my goal or not. Neither of them seed to notice that there was sothing wrong with my voice and that there was a hitch in it.
“I was thinking about going to the bonfire party tonight over on the beach,” Taylor said.
“Yeah, I heard about that. I do not really have any plans, so the bonfire thing sounds like fun. Why? Did you have sothing else in mind, Bianca?“ Isabel asked.
I thought about it for a mont. I was not too sure about a barn fire party on the beach. That sounded like a lot of people and God only knew what else was going to be going on there. Then, I thought about the sand, the waves, the sound of the sea, the feel of the breeze, and thought that maybe I should try to go out and make more friends.
Besides, Leo probably would not have even been ho when I got there. What was the point of waiting around for him? He did not have ti for , rember?
Was I being petty? I wondered about my motives and tried to make sure that they were reasonable and not irrational.
I wanted to make sure that I was not just trying to get back at Leo and not be ho when he got there. That would be childish, and I rembered my running from him yesterday morning to my room like a baby.
I had not wanted to cry in front of him. It was why I ran. I was not into the Whole. Let cry in front of you so I can take the wind out of yourselves sales that most won were into. I didn’t mind a good fight. But, I did not fight dirty. To , tears were fighting dirty.
“Bianca?“ Taylor asked.
Isabella chuckled. “I think she’s thinking it through. I can almost see the wheels in her head, turning like little clock faces.“
I chuckled that that. Isabella had gotten to know pretty well over the ti that we’ve known each other so far. I really enjoyed her Snark and her way of being. I loved being around her and enjoyed her company. She was just as big of a nerd as I was, especially when it ca to history. Taylor was a little different. I liked him too and for so reason he seed to know as well as Isabella knew .
Isabella was right, I was thinking it through. Hell, I could see the little springs and wheels turning in my mind at this point.
“What’s to think through?“ Taylor asked, “it’s a barn fire on the beach. There’s gonna be music, and more than likely a volleyball ga. And, Well, the beach.”
Isabella and I cracked up at Taylor’s insistence.
“OK, I guess I’ll go. I have to drop off my things at the house and get ready, but I can et you all there in a couple hours,” I said, finally agreeing to go with them. It was pointless to sit around at ho.
Let Leo be the one waiting this ti. It did not matter if I was being petty or not. I needed to go out and have so fun. Things had been so stressful and uncomfortable lately not just at ho but everywhere. I just wanted to go out and have a good ti with a couple of friends who made feel good.
“OK, I’ll see you all at about six?”
“Yes,” they both said in unison.
I felt good with the decision I had made. I finished out my day of classes. I went ho and I put my book bag up and dressed in a pair of shorts and a tank top and sandals. I brushed my hair out and threw it up in a ssy bun.
I did not really care how I looked. I was not going for the hot guys or the booze. I was going to have fun with my friends. I was looking forward to it.
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