*Bianca*
The words inked onto the pages in front of were just that, words. I hadn’t been able to put any real focus into the book because I felt entirely too distracted. Leo had texted ages ago to let know he’d be late coming ho tonight. However, it was now the middle of the night, and I was still inhabiting this huge estate all by myself.
What could possibly be keeping him so late?
I wasn’t much of a businesswoman, but I did know it wasn’t usually a normal thing for people to have etings in the middle of the night.
Just as I began to spiral into possibilities, I heard the door open from a distance. Leo. I glanced at the clock that sat on the mantel above the fireplace and rolled my eyes in an irritated fashion.
I slamd my book closed as he appeared in the archway separating the hallway and the living room. As I stared at him, I had to admit, I didn’t feel an urge to fight with him. It was late and I felt exhausted. Questions, however, hovered over my shoulder like my own personal storm cloud.
“You didn’t have to wait up,” he spoke as he walked into the room.
Of course, he would say that, I had thought to myself. A rather typical response from a man who had been out all night but didn’t want to provide an explanation.
“Well, I wasn’t expecting you to be this late,” I replied, emphasizing the word, ‘this.’
“I wasn’t either, to be honest. Things ran later than I had originally expected,” he sighed as he sat down next to on the sofa.
Things, I scoffed internally.
I nodded my head slowly. “Listen Leo, I don’t want to fight. If you want, we can just walk away from this and go to bed. I just don’t understand how having a job in real estate would cause you to be gone all hours of the night. Not to ntion the thin excuses you provide .”
Leo sighed again and rubbed his temples as he rested his elbows on his knees. He was clearly exhausted too and probably didn’t have another excuse ready to throw at .
“I’m not providing you with excuses, Bianca,” he spoke quietly as he looked over at . “Part of my job is having late dinners with clients sotis. Another part of my job is to provide them an experience that makes them feel good about doing business with , so they don’t go out and find soone else.”
This late at night, though?
I heard the words that were coming out of his mouth, but I still hadn’t felt convinced he was being totally honest with . I couldn’t put my finger on the reason why. I was aware that I struggled to trust people ever since my relationship with Matteo, but I couldn’t help but feel like there was more to Leo than he was allowing to believe.
I an, he was in real estate, but could sohow afford to live in this huge estate and have a staff of people. What logical sense could that make?
“All right, Leo. Then, explain this to , how on Earth are you so wealthy from real estate alone? How is it possible for you to live in such an extraordinarily large house?” I said in a little louder tone of voice than I had anticipated. “You have drivers and a staff of people! Maids! A chef! Tell how that makes sense.”
Leo had let out a laugh before turning his head to look at . He looked at as if I was being completely ridiculous.
“The only reason I live here is because Elio left it all behind to . I got lucky in that sense. If it hadn’t been for him insisting on leaving this place behind for , I’d still be living in my old apartnt.”
I thought about that for a mont and wondered what his old apartnt had looked like. Although, that could very well be true, I still felt there are pieces missing. Sothing I’m not seeing. Sothing Leo wasn’t allowing to see.
“And as for my being wealthy, I do well in my business, Bianca. I deal with huge sales, entire blocks of these grand buildings that are worth millions. I don’t just sell your average ho to the average person.”
Leo took a breath and slouched back into the cushions of the couch. Clearly, he was fed up with my questioning and my obvious doubt in his words. I studied him for a mont and sighed, drooping my shoulders as I decided to wave the white flag. I couldn’t prove what he had been telling was false, so there wasn’t a point in continuing my light interrogation. However, I still couldn’t shake the feeling I had, but letting it go for tonight seed like the better option.
He looked over at , the features on his face softened as he moved closer. His lips gravitated towards mine and I let him kiss for a mont. When I felt him try to deepen the kiss, I pulled away gently. I wasn’t in the mood to have sex with him tonight. I wasn’t in the mood to be intimate with a man who I felt was hiding sothing from .
“It’s late and I’m feeling really tired. I’m just going to go to bed,” I told him as I slipped away from him and got to my feet.
“Yeah, of course. I feel the sa,” he replied as he followed suit.
I nodded my head softly and gave him a small smile before making my way out of the living room. Leo followed close behind as we walked up the staircase. I couldn’t deny how safe he made feel walking behind , however.
When I reached the door to my bedroom, I turned towards Leo to say goodnight.
“I’ll see you in the morning.”
He quickly scooped one of my hands up in his and spoke. “I thought I’d co in and sleep next to you, tonight.”
I shook my head without hesitation. “I just want to be alone tonight.”
He nodded wordlessly and let go of my hand. I kissed his cheek gently before turning to walk inside my room, closing the door behind .
I felt a slight pang of guilt leaving Leo out in the hallway like I had. To have had the thought of Leo walking back to his room to sleep alone.
But I had to focus on my needs at the mont and what I needed was ti alone to really think about things away from the blanket of his presence. Of his soft touch and charming smile.
Instead of crawling right into bed, I decided to run myself a nice warm bath. Once the bright white porcelain was filled to the brim with warm water, I shed my clothing. Carefully, I slipped one foot beneath the surface before subrging my entire body.
The water felt nice. Calming. Soothing. Exactly what I needed right now.
Thoughts of Leo filled my head. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to trust Leo. It was quite the opposite, actually. I felt slightly disappointed in myself because of feeling like I couldn’t trust him. I couldn’t tell if I was doubting myself or Leo. My past trauma bleeding into my relationship with Leo. Was I being fair to him? I, honestly, couldn’t be sure.
But sothing inside of my head was telling that I couldn’t trust every word he spoke to . I didn’t believe that he was a liar, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t being completely honest with .
Is there a difference, though?
The water had begun to get cool, so I let the water drain as I stepped out onto the fluffy bathmat. I wrapped a plush gray towel around and walked into my bedroom. After grabbing clothes from within the drawers of my dresser, I dried every drop of water from my skin and got dressed. I crawled into bed and curled myself up into a ball as I let sleep take over .
***
My eyes had burst open the mont I woke from a dream. I felt too warm as I kicked the heavy blankets off of . When I turned to look at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand, I groaned. It had only been two hours since I had fallen asleep.
I rolled my eyes as I plopped my head back down against the feather filled pillow and closed my eyes once again. Imdiately, I rembered my dream. Leo and I had been sitting next to each other on the couch, just as we had been earlier in the night. His finger traced along my collarbone, fingering the delicate pearl necklace draped around my neck.
He glided his fingers smoothly towards my chin, tilting my head up towards his before leaning in to kiss . I had no thoughts to distract and leaned heavily into his kiss. I parted his lips and stuck my tongue inside his mouth. He groaned and grabbed a hold of my waist, pulling into him. I straddled his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck, continuing to kiss him passionately. Our clothes disappeared and I felt him push himself inside of .
The dream had felt so real. If I was being honest with myself, the only thing I really wanted to do was sneak into Leo’s room and recreate my dream. I missed his touch. I missed waking up beside him and seeing his handso face.
I grabbed the extra pillow beside and slamd it over my face. I quietly let out my frustration vocally into the padded pillow covering my mouth. I hated that I had that feeling of not being able to trust him because it was keeping from being close to him. I was stopping myself from being close to him.
I shook my head out of frustration and threw the pillow to the side. I an, if I really wanted to, I could sneak into Leo’s room. I know that he’d welco with open arms. Even wider arms once I’d crush my lips against his. He was probably already only wearing his boxers. It’d be easy enough to feel how happy he’d be to see . To climb on top of him and show him how much I wanted him.
But what would that an? That I all of a sudden trust him? That I’d have forgotten all of my suspicions? Would I be betraying myself by giving in to him or would I just be being human?
It’s going to be a long night, I thought to myself as I shut my eyes tight and pulled the blankets back over top of .
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