Jas
Anger coursed through my veins as I stared at Tally sitting on Becca’s living room sofa. I hadn’t expected to see her in Becca’s living room, but fate had other plans. Instead of coming here to search for her—she found her way towards .
“Thank you for not going out there,” Tally whispered, staring at her feet.
I wanted to wring her neck and tell her how stupid she was being. Before I could, the front door opened, and Becca walked into the apartnt slowly, her eyes not eting mine.
Casting her eyes towards the floor, she passed by , making her way towards the stairs. Guilt rolled through at how I had spoken to her. I realized now I was wrong for speaking to her as I did. She wasn’t the reason I was angry, but she was the only outlet I had when I unraveled.
That was no excuse. I had been a complete asshole.
“Becca—” I said, grabbing her arm gently, stopping her in her tracks. I didn’t get a chance to continue as she held up her hand, stopping from continuing, and shook her head. There was nothing she wanted to say to , and releasing her, I watched her ascend the stairs.
Letting out a heavy breath, I slowly turned my eyes to Tally again. The child I had helped create was causing issues between the woman I loved and . “You need to start from the beginning and tell everything that happened.”
My stern response made her gulp as she looked at with wide eyes, nodding slowly.
“When I left Miami, I went with Chad back to his parents’ house for a few weeks, but his mother didn’t want us to be together. His family tried to force to get an abortion even though I didn’t want to. They realized when I went to the doctors I was further along than we thought, and that’s when things got bad.”
“How far along are you?” I asked with a questioning gaze.
“Six months.”
My daughter was six months pregnant. She had been doing all kinds of partying, drinking, everything else, not being careful. And this entire ti she had been pregnant, my mind reeled with the possibility that the baby was actually okay. I couldn’t believe how stupid she had been.
“Do you understand the complications of what you’ve done with all the partying and drinking, the damage you could have done to that child? How stupid could you actually be?”
She didn’t respond to right away. Instead, she looked down at her feet, her lips trembling as if tears were about to pour down her face.
“I’m sorry,” she replied with a trembling voice.
“You’re sorry?” I scoffed, absolutely astonished that was her go-to. “Do you have any idea of the worry and panic you put through because of what you did? Running off like that, not telling anybody where you went, throwing a f*cking tantrum because you couldn’t have what you wanted?”
“I know,” she cried out as her eyes t mine again, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I know what I did was wrong. I’m sorry for all the shit that I put you and Becca through. I didn’t an for any of this to happen, but I thought he loved .”
“You thought he loved you?” I scoffed.
“Yeah,” she snapped as she held her arms out, gesturing to her body. “And this is the repercussions of what my love has done. He beat because I wouldn’t get an abortion. He told he would have nothing to do with , and I was nothing but a whore.”
I could see the sincerity in her eyes, and it was the first ti I had seen such sincerity since she was a child. Since before Allison and I had divorced, this little girl looking at right now was the sa one I rembered before she turned into the demon she acted like.
There was no way I could easily forgive her—regardless if I were her father. What she had done caused more damage than she could ever comprehend.
“You don’t need to tell you’re sorry. You need to be saying that to her,” I replied, pointing upstairs. “She gave you everything when you were younger, was your closest friend, was your shield when you were upset or when soone tried to hurt you. She took care of you. Becca treated you like a sister.”
She stared at with a dumbfounded expression. “So you’re not angry at because I’m pregnant or because I ran off with Chad? You’re angry at because of everything that I did to her?”
“Yeah, I am. I’m extrely angry,” I snapped at her. “And yes, I am angry that you ran off with Chad, a man you shouldn’t have been sleeping with in the first place because that was your best friend’s f*cking boyfriend.”
“I didn’t an for it to happen—”
“Stop,” I snapped again, giving her a stern glare. “Don’t you dare say that. You’re a grown woman, Tally. Responsible for yourself. Never say you didn’t an for it to happen.”
Allegra had been right. Tally was an adult, and I couldn’t coddle her. Not anymore.
She had to figure this shit out on her own. At the end of the day, though, if I was going to have a life with Becca, she would have to learn to respect our wishes.
I didn’t know what else to really say to her about what happened. She looked like she had been in a fight and lost. “We need to get you to a doctor.”
“No, I don’t want to go to a doctor. I don’t want to have him arrested,” she whispered as she looked away towards the window.
“It doesn’t matter what you want. The baby could have been hurt, and I want you checked out. You don’t have to tell them who did it if you don’t want to, but we’re still going.”
My word was final; knowing this, she didn’t continue arguing with . I told her to get her things together and that I would be back downstairs in a little while, and quietly I made my way up the stairs to talk to Becca.
So things needed to be discussed, and an apology needed to be given.
As I pushed open Becca’s bedroom door, I quietly stood there, watching her sitting in the chair by the window, looking out of it with a confused expression on her face.
“Becca—” I sighed, but she didn’t bother to look at . Closing the door behind , I took a few steps toward her. “I need to apologize to you. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that downstairs. I was just so angry by everything that happened about what Chad had done to her I lost control of myself, and I lashed out at the one person I shouldn’t have.”
She stared at with confusion, shaking her head. As she gripped the arm of her chair, her knuckles turned white. “That doesn’t excuse what you did, regardless of being angry. I am not the one that you should lash out at.”
“I know,” I said with a pleading glance. “I hate myself for how I treated you.”
“I don’t know what you expect to say,” she replied. “Everything has been chaotic since the mont I t you this sumr, and even though we’re together and have had amazing monts... it’s becoming nothing but toxic.”
Toxic? Was she calling toxic?
“What are you trying to say?” I asked her, unsure if she was trying to tell she didn’t want this relationship anymore. That she didn’t want .
“I’m saying that I can’t keep going on like this. I can’t keep fighting with you and arguing. It’s pointless.”
Pointless. That was the word she used to describe the relationship we had.
And hearing her say it left a hole in my chest.
She froze as I ca closer to her. I wanted to touch her, hold her, kiss her, and tell her how sorry I was, to give another chance. I knew she had already given multiple chances to get this right.
But I didn’t want this to be a toxic situation. I just wanted to make her happy.
Kneeling down to her level, I brushed my hand across her cheek, pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she stared at with those big blue eyes. “Don’t give up on this or give up on . I can make you happy.”
“How?” she asked, looking at as tears brimd her eyes. “How can you make happy when you have so much that you’re dealing with? How are you going to be there for when we have the distance between us... and now with Tally... she needs to go ho, Jas. She needs to return to Miami to get the care needed for the baby.”
Becca wasn’t wrong about that. The distance between us was an issue, and I knew she still had months left of school or at least until her internship started in the winter.
“We can make this work. We will figure it out as we have been.”
She shook her head, though. Her eyes left mine as she looked down at her feet. “You don’t have ti to make this work, especially when you have to pencil in your schedule even to have a simple conversation.”
Taken back by her response, I knew what she was saying was true.
She was talking like she wanted to call this quits. I didn’t want to let her go, though. No matter how much I knew she deserved better, I couldn’t let her go. I needed her.
“I won’t accept that,” I replied, shaking my head as I stood to my feet.
Quickly standing, she stared at sternly, her lips thinly t, narrowing her brows. “You don’t have a choice in this.”
“Don’t tell what I don’t have, Becca. You can’t tell after everything that you want to let this go.” Clearing the space between us, I pressed my lips against hers. She tried to fight it at first but then quickly lted into my touch with a soft moan leaving her lips as her hands furiously grabbed at my clothing.
If she wanted to end this, then so be it. But I would have her one last ti.
One last ti to hold her.
One last ti to kiss her.
One last ti to rember everything we had and hopefully change her mind about not wanting to be with .
I couldn’t lose her.
Through everything negative happening in my life right now, she was the only thing good.
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