*Elio*
Despite my best attempts to get to sleep last night, I only managed a faint doze, jerking awake at several points just to see if Cat was truly still beside . She was, and unlike , each ti I looked, she was fast asleep.
Turned to the wall, hair strewn behind her, I could only glimpse the fall and rise of her back as she breathed, hearing the soft snore she let out once in a while and letting it lull into another restless sleep, only to do it all again in an hour or two.
So, when I woke up earlier than I would ever choose to get up, I decided just to give up on a good night’s sleep. I watched Cat sleep, eyes weary and body exhausted, listening to her breathing as the morning rays breached through the blinds in the windows.
There was a harsh chill in New York, at least compared to the normal temperatures of LA, and I noticed goosebumps along her arms. Not wanting her to be cold, I gently pulled the comforter up over her shoulders so only her hair peeked out through the lump of fabric.
Several tis I wanted to reach out, to cross the distance between us and pull her into my arms like we normally slept. It felt lonely to see her but not be able to touch her, to hold her, and give her warmth that way.
But I didn’t.
I feared that she was still angry. She’d slept in the sa bed with even after our fight probably because we got a room with one bed, and not even she was cruel enough to make sleep on the floor or the armchair by the window. But still, I took that as a hopeful sign that she wasn’t too angry with .
I was firm that I was right. All I wanted was to keep her safe for as long as possible, and that ant keeping her out of the loop sotis. It wasn’t an issue of trust, because God knew I trusted that woman with my life. Instead, it was to make sure she doesn’t get pulled down because of , or like Leo said, would be soone to bail out if things went sideways.
I hoped she would see my side, no matter how impossible that seed. We were both stubborn creatures, and neither of us was willing to give in easily.
Eventually, six o’clock rolled around and I knew that if I wasn’t going to sleep, It would be better to get ready for the day. We were flying back later in the day due to Cat having class tomorrow. I hated ending our trip like this—in a fight with no resolution—but it was inevitable that she would find out.
She wasn’t stupid. I knew she was wickedly smart. But I had been hoping to keep it a secret for a little longer, at least until the trip was over, but the cat had co screaming out of the bag and once it had, I couldn’t stuff it back in.
I rolled out of bed, grabbing my suitcase and carelessly grabbing a handful of clothes. I headed for the bathroom, a sigh on my lips as I took one last glance at the peacefully sleeping woman in our bed.
At least one of us got a good night’s sleep, I thought as I stepped into the shower. The hot water beating down on my sore muscles was a relief, and I probably stayed in there for a little longer than I normally would, just letting the water run down my back.
I stepped out of the shower, throwing on my clothes until I reached what I had thought was a shirt. It turned out I had grabbed two different pairs of pants and I groaned to myself.
I left the bathroom shirtless, and I was a bit surprised to see Cat sitting up in bed, bleary-eyed but awake. There was a pile of clothes at her feet, and I knew she had been waiting for .
“Hey,” I said calmly, trying not to show how much my heart was thudding in my chest.
After our fight yesterday, Cat hadn’t said a word to , and I was hoping at least we could talk about sothing today. The silent treatnt had always been the worst punishnt for .
Much to my chagrin, she was quiet, just staring at indifferently.
“The shower’s all yours,” I said, hopefully, trying to break the ice. “Water’s still hot, I hope.”
My attempt at a joke went on deaf ears, and whereas Cat would normally tease for it or groan at how bad it was, she just quietly nodded.
“Thanks.”
That was the only word she said as she got out of bed, clutching her clothes. She slipped past to the shower and on instinct, feeling guilty and all shades of bad, I reached out to catch her hand with a soft, “Hey, about last night—”
My eyes widened as Cat fully dodged , not even glancing at as she stood in the doorway. I heard her breathe out a sigh, a technique for remaining calm I had noticed she used a lot. My hand, useless in the air, trembled. Never had she dodged my touch... never.
“Cat—” My voice shook.
“Forget it.” She said coldly, and then she shut the door in my face.
I stood there blankly long after I heard the shower start, staring at the floor as I ran her actions over and over in my head like a bad movie I didn’t want to see. But this wasn’t fiction.
This was the reality I lived in.
And the woman I loved wouldn’t speak to .
I finally turned away, limbs feeling heavier than usual and the colors a little less bright as I clumsily threw on a shirt, hastily buttoning it up as I took a seat on the edge of the bed, not even thinking anymore.
It wasn’t until I heard the shower stop and Cat ca out fully dressed that I realized that this wasn’t what I wanted. Cat was my world, and I wasn’t going to accept this coldness.
“I can’t take this anymore,” I said firmly to Cat, my eyes focused on her figure as she stuffed things back into her suitcase.
Her back stiffened and I could tell she was listening, but she didn’t say anything.
“Cat, we have to talk about this.”
She turned around a frown on her lips and crossed her arms as she leaned against the wall. “Fine then. Talk about what?”
I swallowed, forming sentences in my head at break-neck speed. “I didn’t an to make you think I don’t trust you. It’s not about that because I trust you with my life—you are everything to , Cat. I just want you to be safe, and the best way to do that is to make sure you can’t be tied to the... unsavory parts of the... business.”
“Right,” Cat responded shortly. “Then let ask you this.”
She pushed off the wall, coming to stand before with an impatient look. “Do you want to be involved in this with you?”
“Of course I do.” I got to my feet, reaching out for her, but she side-stepped for the second ti this morning and I couldn’t deny the hurt I felt.
She looked straight in the eyes, with no sign of any emotion other than an expectancy for answers. I let my hand drop to my side.
“But it’s not that simple, Cat. Don’t you get it? I need you to be safe. What we’re doing is dangerous, and getting you involved any further would an incriminating you too. I can’t allow that.”
“You always use the sa damn excuse, and it’s getting old, Elio,” Cat said harshly. “No, not getting—it got old five tis ago. You never consider what I want before doing this, not one damn ti. And every ti I knock so sense into you, it isn’t long before another thing cos up and we’re back to square one. I’m fed up with it!”
Fists balled at her side, eyes flaring with anger, I had never seen Cat as angry as I did right then. But my own frustration was rising in response to hers.
“I wanted to be your partner in this, but every step forward, it’s two steps back with you! I thought you wanted to be by your side, to be your partner, so what changed, Elio? Tell !” All of her coldness had lted away in the face of her fury, her eyes as bright and hot as a fla.
I clenched my jaw at her accusations, trying not to lose it but failing miserably.
What changed?
Images raced across my head—Antonio with a bullet through his skull, our n laid into coffins and her mother in the hospital bed. Alessandro’s warning raced in my mind and landed on her being dragged away in handcuffs, helpless to do anything.
I snapped.
“People died, Cat! That’s what happened!” I yelled, stepping closer. Much to her credit, she didn’t move an inch, matching my anger in equal force. “And seeing Antonio made think. What if that was you next?”
“What if that was you?!” she scread.
It shocked into silence, and she stood there breathing heavily.
Both of us fell silent as she looked into my eyes, her own glimring with unshed tears. It was a mont of vulnerability I hadn’t seen from her in a long ti and before I could reach out, to say anything in response, it was gone.
Her face fell, reflecting the disappointnt and exhaustion she felt as she turned away from , hugging her middle as if to protect herself. “Enough, Elio. We’re getting nowhere with this. This is why I didn’t want to argue about it in the first place. You’ve made your choice, and you clearly don’t care about my opinion.”
“That’s not fair, Cat,” I retorted.
“I’m not fair?” She snorted, giving a resentful look. “If you’re not going to respect as a partner then at least respect as your girlfriend. You don’t want to involve ? Fine. But don’t lie to my face about it.”
With that, she grabbed her makeup bag from her suitcase and without another word or look at , she went inside, and it was just an extra stab to the heart to hear the lock turn after her.
I sighed, shoulders slumping as I sat on the bed.
I don’t know what else to do or say. I was only thinking of her... but she didn’t see it that way. Was I really doing the right thing? Driving Cat away like this was only hurting her.
But I didn’t see any other way.
I felt sick and tired of everything. Fighting the sa fight with Cat, I felt like I was in the middle of a war alone, trudging up a hill that never ended.
World-weary and cynical, I dragged myself through the morning quietly. Cat and I rarely spoke, and even then, we were polite to one another when we did as we headed to the airport for our flight back to LA.
But when we got on the plane, my mood only got worse as I received a call as we settled in on the flight. I didn’t even look at the caller ID as I answered and tiredly said, “What?”
“We have a problem.” Leo’s voice ca through.
I didn’t even blink, just stared blankly in front of as I responded, “Of course we do.”
Reviews
All reviews (0)