*Caterina*
‘What the—actual—hell just happened?’ I asked myself blankly.
How had I gone from having a wonderful night with Elio to being straight dumped off at ho all within a five-minute ti fra?
It was all because of a goddamned phone call.
It didn’t matter how slick he thought he was on the phone with Leo before. I could tell from a mile away that what they were discussing was news pertaining to Antonio and Junior. I obviously couldn’t very well pinpoint the specifics, but for the past few months that was all that business was for Elio.
‘Does he think I’m an idiot to be that naive about what’s been going on?’
I’d told him ti and ti again that I didn’t want to be left in the dark about issues like these. I needed to know. I deserved to know what had been happening behind the scenes.
That night of the exchange was still fresh in my mind. It was incredible how a few months only felt like three hours at tis. Sotis, late at night, I’d find myself ntally wandering back toward that awful mont. The fear and agitation lingered deep within my gut, and I could still hear the echo of the gunshots firing through the air and those damn bullets that found my mother and turned my entire world upside down, yet again.
Elio was still trying to play the protective card. That was admirable and caring of him. But at the sa ti, it made feel wildly insecure and riddled with anger.
How could he still see as a child? After all that we’d gone through and dealt with together on this ss, Elio was persistent about keeping at arm’s length when it ca to this stuff.
I was utterly infuriated. But beneath the seething river of rage that perated off my skin, there was a huge underlying feeling of sadness that twisted inside of .
I never liked separating on a bad note with him.
‘For the love of God, I told him not to co ho later,’ I thought fumingly.
But had I truly ant that? Partly.
The idea of him coming back to see felt like a cheap cover-up, a guilty quick fix, a convenience that worked for his schedule.
No doubt, he would try to vouch for himself that everything he was doing was for the sake of my safety. I was tired of that excuse because in the end, it always ca back to make feel weak about myself.
I knew that if I lingered too long on the subject, then I’d soon feel tears springing into my eyes. I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want anyone to notice or suspect what was going on in my mind, especially my mother.
The woman had enough to think about with her physical therapy. The last thing she needed to deal with was my emotional issues.
‘Christ, I just need to forget about this already,’ I said to myself.
I shook my head and turned to walk inside.
My first thought was to head upstairs and take a nice, long bath. It was getting late, and what little appetite I had left was now gone. All I really wanted now was to find a quick way to unwind.
Passing through the living room, I spotted my mother out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head and saw her sitting down in one of the large, cushioned chairs. Her caretaker, Lauren, was standing attentively beside her.
It was clear to see that they were in the middle of so of her mini-exercises to help rebuild the nerves in her back and legs.
A sudden smile pulled at my lips. “Hey,” I greeted them.
Lauren glanced up from watching my mother’s shaky movents and gave a small wave.
“Hello, Caterina.”
“Hi, dear,” my mom said tenderly. “How was your day? How were your classes?”
I bit the inside of my cheek, fighting to control the urge not to bypass the earlier events of my day and rush right into the sour topic of Elio. Instead of jumping headfirst into the heated argunt, I let out a long breath and sat down on the couch near her.
I ran a rough hand through my hair and leaned back into the cushions.
“Classes were okay, I guess. I have so work I still need to finish up for a few of them, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” I explained. “How is your session going?”
This ti it was Mom who let out a deflated sigh and leaned back into her chair. “Oh, sa as your case, I suppose,” she mused. “Nothing I can’t handle.”
We all shared a small laugh of amusent. It didn’t take a genius to see that many of the mini-trials that the therapist put her through were taking a lot of energy out of her. Lauren was a true saint. The woman never lost her patience. She constantly encouraged my mother to keep going and that every little bit helped.
Lauren rested her arm on the back of Mom’s chair and looked down at her with encouragent.
“Believe , Caterina. Before you got here, she was doing great,” she assured . “Co on. Matilde, I want at least five more mini bicycle steps before we call it a night.”
“Alright, alright,” my mother murmured under her breath.
Obviously, there was no literal bicycle in front of her, but my mom lifted her feet off the floor and went on to move them in small, consistent intervals. I could tell from the strained look on her face that it wasn’t easy to manage after the first few reps. But at least these movents were keeping her blood circulation flowing.
‘Mom is getting better,’ I noted wistfully. ‘She’s going to get better.’
Matilde Leone was a strong woman in my mind, probably one of the bravest and most resilient people I’ve ever known. It ca as no wonder to how she managed to stay with my dad when they were still married to each other.
My gaze slowly drifted away from my mom and off to so other part of the room where I fell into a daze. anwhile, my stomach felt like it was twisting in knots as my thoughts drifted back toward Elio and our brief argunt from before.
“Has sothing happened?”
I faintly heard my mom’s voice but didn’t give her my full attention until I heard my na being called out.
“Cat!”
I snapped out of my heavy train of thought and turned back to face my mother. Her expression mirrored my own—worried and curious.
“Sorry,” I breathed. “What did you say?”
“I asked you if sothing happened,” she repeated. “You looked a little upset just now.”
“Oh.” I shook my head. As usual, nothing ever got past that woman. “It’s just... how often did Dad ever shut you out of his life? You know, when he was still working with Elio’s family?”
My mom let out a long sigh and briefly stopped her movents. She slowly glanced up at Lauren and smiled. “Perhaps we can take a short break?”
Lauren gently nodded her head. “Of course.”
And with that, she left the room to give us a bit of privacy. My mom easily adjusted herself in her chair and allowed her shoulders to sag back. She possessed this look on her face that told she knew exactly what was going on. My blunt question about her and my dad was a dead giveaway to the relationship troubles that Elio and I were currently facing.
“Cat, of course you know that your father and I loved each other very much. I’ve told you before about the different sides he had. He always knew when to separate his work life from his family life. It was his way of protecting us from possible threats,” she explained.
She tilted her head while a small smile touched her lips. “I think your dad always kept secrets, even when he was working. He never told much about a lot of things and I never really considered it as lying.”
I let my head fall back. “And that never bothered you?”
Good God, just the thoughts of Elio purposely keeping information from made my hands want to curl into fists and my jaw clench. If anyone knew how I felt about secrets, it would be her and Elio. My mom at least has been more forthcoming about certain information ever since I found out the truth about my dad and Elio’s family. But it was evident that Elio still wanted to keep certain things hidden from .
And I was not okay with it.
“Not really,” she admitted softly.
My brows drew together in disbelief. Right as I was about to open my mouth and speak, she quickly cut off with a raise of her hand.
“Hold on. You’re familiar with the phrase ’ignorance is bliss.’ I know it sounds like your father was purposely keeping things from , but believe it or not, I wanted it that way. I had a faintly decent idea of what was happening whenever your father was called in, and I purposely chose never to ask. I was happy not knowing the full truth of the situation. Should there have ever been a ti back then where I was questioned about this sort of information, I knew that I wouldn’t be a viable source of intel for people to use.”
I felt my heart skip a beat within my chest. I’d never thought about it like that.
‘There does co a price with knowing certain things,’ I thought silently to myself.
“Not to ntion that bearing this kind of information in your mind isn’t always the easiest thing to deal with,” she added.
I nodded my head. “I understand that,” I said. “But I feel like I’ve had enough of secrets and being kept in the dark about things. Whether it’s good or bad, I want to know.”
My mother’s expression grew resolute. “I take it that this conversation has a bit more to do than just my relationship with your father,” she pointed out.
I folded my arms over my chest. “Elio and I were supposed to go out to dinner tonight. While we were in the car, he got a call from Leo telling him that he needed to et up and deal with work. It sounded like they were speaking in so kind of code, but I already knew otherwise. Elio’s imdiate thought was to send back here. But I told him that I wanted to stay with him. Whatever is going on is just as much my business as it is his.”
I shook my head in exhaustion.
“But he completely disregarded and refused to even tell what was going on. He promised that he wouldn’t keep things from anymore and yet—”
My mouth twisted into an irritated scowl. “He keeps shutting out. You say that you were okay not knowing about Dad’s work life. But that’s not . I can’t keep living my life wondering what is going on all the ti.”
She offered a gentle smile.
“You’ll just have to tell Elio then,” she advised. “Make him understand how important this is to you.”
All I could do was nod my head as I left the living room to allow my mom to get back to her physical therapy. I headed in the direction of my room to do what I’d initially intended.
I wandered into the bathroom and went straight for the large tub to turn on the facets. Once it was properly filled up, I put my clothes into a small pile on the floor and carefully lowered myself in. I happily let the steaming water ease the strain in my muscles.
I closed my eyes and let the stress of the day lt away.
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