*Caterina*
Mom stopped outside of the door and knocked lightly on the fra. It was a silly thing to do, since the door was open and we were both looking at her. She was giving Elio a curious look as she stepped inside.
I could see that his shoulders were stiff and he was uncomfortable. I was too. She had nearly caught us making out.
Being an adult did nothing to temper the embarrassnt I felt at the idea of my mom catching with a guy. The fact that it was Elio only made it worse.
What was I thinking?
She turned her gaze to and smiled. “Are you alright?” she asked softly.
I nodded mutely. I wasn’t really paying attention to her. My heart was still beating wildly, and I could feel the heat of Elio’s touch slowly fading from my skin.
Seriously, what was I thinking?
How could I kiss him like that? He was attractive, sure, but he was still an annoying know-it-all. But my heart wouldn’t slow down, and the heat that was coursing through wouldn’t calm.
I knew my face must be flushed and I worried that my mom would be able to tell that it wasn’t just from crying. The rest of the family wouldn’t be paying enough attention to tell that sothing else was up with , but she might.
“Cat?” she asked a little louder.
“I’m fine,” I said quickly. “I was just about to co back to the table.”
“I’ll give you so space to talk,” Elio said suddenly.
I started to protest, but he turned to look at with an expression that I couldn’t read, then he walked out the door.
I was so frustrated. I had no idea what to make of his behavior. He just confused so much. One second he was looking at like he was desperate for , then he was walking away like nothing had happened between us.
Mom turned to after he left and opened her arms to offer a hug. I stepped forward and hugged her tightly. I felt the residual sadness that had overwheld a few minutes ago start to lt away. I leaned my head against her shoulder as she rubbed my back and kissed the side of my head gently.
“I know that it can be hard to talk about Dad,” she said softly. “It’s hard for too. Sotis the sadness wins out, but I’m also so happy to hear other people rember what a good man he was.”
“I know,” I agreed. “I’m honored to be compared to him. It just surprised , that’s all.”
“I know, sweetie,” she said. “I understand.”
She rubbed my back vigorously, then pulled back to look at my face. “You know that you don’t have to run into your room when you’re upset, right? You don’t have to hide your feelings from .”
I stood back and wiped the last of the tears from my eyes. “I know, Mom.”
“I an it,” she insisted. “Don’t think that you have to protect from your grief. I’m your mom. It’s my job to protect you. If there’s ever anything you want to talk about, I’m here for you.”
“I know, Mom,” I said fondly. “Thank you.”
She nodded and sighed. “You said you wanted to co back to dinner?”
“Yeah, I’m starving,” I said with a laugh.
She laughed too and motioned toward the door. “Let’s get back before they start in on the pies.”
I walked out first, and Mom followed back to the dining room. Everyone was chatting pleasantly, and no one turned to look at as I returned to my seat. It was a nice gesture, but it just made even more aware of how awkward the situation was.
No one said anything to for a few minutes, and I focused on eating my food before it got cold.
I kept getting the feeling that soone was looking at , but whenever I glanced up at Elio, he was looking sowhere else.
I may have been imagining it, but I could have sworn that there was a slight flush to his cheeks.
Maybe he was just as worked up about our encounter as I was. I wanted to talk to him about it, but I couldn’t do that right now. I wouldn’t even know what to say, anyway. I wanted to know what he was interested in for.
Did he just want to have a little fun or was there sothing more....
I shook the thoughts away and took another bite of food.
That wasn’t a thought process that I could follow right then. I needed to forget about it.
“So, school’s going well?” Olivia asked with a friendly smile.
I nodded and took a bite of potatoes. I glanced at Mom. She didn’t seem to be paying attention. She was talking to Gio about sothing.
I hadn’t talked to Mom about my plans to transfer yet, and I didn’t want to blurt it out in front of the whole family.
“Are you enjoying the university?”
“I enjoy having my own space,” I said truthfully. “The university is amazing, but it can be a little overwhelming.”
“Ah,” she said with a knowing nod. “New environnts can be that way. I know you were only a child when the big move happened, but I’m sure you can rember how stressful it could be at tis.”
I nodded. I did rember how hard it was for everyone to adjust to life in Arica. There were a lot of differences in the culture between the United States and Italy. It took a long ti for everyone to feel at ho. It was weird to think about now. Everyone was so confident and comfortable in this new life.
“You’ll get through the stress,” she assured .
I smiled at Olivia. “Thank you.”
My smile was strained, and I took another bite quickly to hide it. I felt a little guilty about my plans, but I knew that it was the right move. I just hoped that Mom and everyone else would understand. I didn’t want to let them down.
“Cat?” Elio’s voice pulled from my thoughts.
I looked up at him and t his eyes. There was an intensity to the way he was looking at that made my breath catch in my throat.
The mory of his hands on my skin made shudder.
“Pass the butter,” he said suddenly.
I blinked in confusion. He pointed to the butter dish sitting to my right, then nodded toward the head of the table. “Gio asked, but I don’t think you could hear him.”
My face was burning with embarrassnt. I fumbled the butter dish and passed it up the table toward Gio.
“Sorry,” I muttered.
“Do you want more wine?” Elio asked.
I frowned at him, then looked at my empty glass. I didn’t even realize that I had finished it. Was I a little drunk? Maybe that was why I was feeling so scatterbrained.
“Yes, please,” I answered.
Elio stood up and went to grab a bottle of wine. I expected him to hand it to , but instead he walked behind and leaned over my shoulder to pour a glass.
I could sll the musk of his cologne and the heat of his body close to mine. I bit the inside of my cheek and resisted the urge to look at him. He lingered for a mont before standing up again.
“Thanks,” I muttered.
“Any ti,” he said close to my ear. Then he turned and walked away.
Arousal and frustration threatened to overwhelm . I picked up my glass and took a deep swallow of the tart wine. It was delicious, and I focused on the feeling of the liquid on my tongue to distract myself.
No one else seed to notice the tension between us. I was grateful for that.
When we finished dinner, everyone made their way into the living room. Soone turned on the music, and most of the younger people began to dance while the older generation sat around talking in serious tones, though I didn’t pay attention to most of the conversation.
I helped Mom clear the table and prepare the desserts. We made a large pot of coffee, and the sll of fresh brew and cinnamon filled the house.
It was pleasant... so was the sound of laughter and conversation that filled the air.
I smiled and took in the feeling of being surrounded by family.
The party went on for hours.
We ran out of wine and started encouraging people to drink coffee and eat more. Mom said she didn’t want leftovers, but I knew she was trying to sober everyone up.
I helped her to prepare coffee for Gio just the right way. He complinted after taking the first sip. I just smiled and went back to the kitchen to brew more.
Natalia and Olivia insisted on filling the dishwasher before they would leave, so it was very late by the ti Mom and I closed the door behind our last guest and set the alarm.
Mom sighed and looked at .
“That was a success,” she declared. “Thank you so much for all the help. I know that you’re here to enjoy the holiday, not spend your holiday vacation working.”
I shook my head. “No, it’s really alright. I love having the family around.”
I took a deep breath. I was still a little tipsy, and I knew it would help to tell her about my plans. I couldn’t keep putting off the conversation.
“Mom, you said before that I can talk to you about anything, right?”
“Of course,” she said with concern. “What’s on your mind?
“School,” I said. “I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and I’m not sure that I’m in the right place.”
Her face fell, but she hid the disappointnt quickly. “What do you an, dear? Are you thinking of changing your major? That’s not a problem if you are, you’re mostly taking general education classes, right?”
“It’s not my major that’s the problem,” I said. “It’s the school. I don’t think it’s a good fit for . I’m having a hard ti being so far from ho.”
She frowned in confusion. “You’re not saying that you want to drop out—”
“No,” I said quickly. “I know how important it is to get my education.”
“Well, then I don’t understand. What do you an?”
I took a breath to calm myself and stood up straight. She would have to understand my choice. Even if she wasn’t happy about it, I knew that it was the right call for .
“At the end of the sester, I’m moving back and transferring to UCLA.”
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