*Alessandro*
“Welco your new Don, Tallon!”
I should have known.
That’s all that ran through my head at the mont that the na that ca out of Giovani’s mouth wasn’t mine. Ever since Giovani had announced he was retiring, the hope had just grown. I’d tried not to have any expectations, but it was hard when everyone around was telling I’d make a great Don.
“The next Don, huh?” I muttered bitterly to myself.
Despite myself, the disappointnt washed over like cold rain on a sunny day at the beach. Now, it was ti to go ho.
Everyone around faded away as my eyes locked onto Giovani. He stood there, unfazed by what he had just declared as if he hadn’t just torn my heart to shred before my very eyes. Olivia stood at his side, an ever-faithful wife with a smile and a baby on her hip.
And the resentnt took hold.
I couldn’t hide the ever-growing fury as I clenched my fists into balls, digging my nails into my skin until it hurt so much I wanted to scream out with the pain. But nothing could take away the utter hatred I could feel taking root in my bones.
I should have known before I got my hopes up that I never would’ve been chosen. No matter how hard I worked or how much I improved myself, I wasn’t good enough for Giovani.
I was never good enough.
But Tallon apparently was.
I grit my teeth until they ached, until I could feel them grinding down on one another.
I had never gotten anything I wanted. The position of Don had been rightfully mine, to begin with, but Giovani was given it instead. Fine, I got over it. I worked double hard to prove I was the best man for the job.
Then Olivia, the girl I’d loved since I was a kid, chose him over . Olivia, who was kind and beautiful and sweet and smart, had never failed to accept , no matter my flaws. She never cared that I wasn’t the Don–until she chose the man who had been picked over .
Fine.
At that point, I’d decided that I would just better myself, to beco the kind of man who could be the leader they all thought I wasn’t. I’d tried so hard to be good enough, but it didn’t matter.
“Alex?” I heard a soft whisper from beside .
I stiffened, feeling his eyes on as I glared down at my plate–Tallon, the new Don.
It echoed in circles in my head until I was dizzy with the thought. My younger brother was now the leader. He now had the position I had wanted for so long, that was rightfully mine to begin with.
And I was left on the outskirts, again.
And who was the cause of all of this? Who had taken away my happiness each and every ti?
I lowered my glare at Giovani, the hatred in my heart growing like an infectious disease. He’d told I was too reckless, rash, violent, and angry. My eyes flickered to the knife next to my dinner plate. I could show him just how violent I could be.
But that wouldn’t solve anything.
It wouldn’t make the Don, and it wouldn’t make Olivia love instead. And I was sure when it ca down to it, I didn’t think I could do it either. Giovani was family, no matter how much I detested him at this point.
And you don’t hurt family.
But I couldn’t stand here and watch, either. I glared around at the faces who had only hours ago been praising as the next Don, sucking up to like I was everything, and now, all their eyes were on Tallon.
The new Don.
Fuck this.
“Alessandro, I didn’t–” I heard Tallon whispering to , but I was far too gone to listen to this bullshit anymore. I pinned him with a glare, not wanting to take my anger out on him but so overwheld with everything that it just seeped out like a gas leak.
“Don’t,” I bit out harshly, and he flinched back, a wounded and ashad look crossing his features before he lowered his head, unable to look in the eye anymore.
Good, I thought bitterly and I got to my feet, harshly pushing against the table. My chair screeched across the floor and I hoped it left scratches deep enough that he couldn’t hire anyone to get them out.
I hope it scarred like he’d done to .
I sent Giovani one last glare, one last conveyance of how much I hated every fiber of his being for taking everything away from , and then I turned my back on the fucking so-called family and stord off.
I could hear my mother’s scolding tone in my head as I walked out of the dining room, saying how “rude it was to make a scene and leave a party without congratulating your brother,” but if anyone in that goddamn room wanted to actually congratulate Tallon, they were only kidding themselves.
I wasn’t going to sit there and pretend like I was happy for him because I wasn’t. I wasn’t going to smile like I didn’t want to trash that entire room and leave nothing standing in its place.
I fled to the backyard, pushing open the back door and stepping out into the quiet night. It was cold, colder than I’d expected but luckily, I had my fury to keep warm. I traveled deeper into the maze of a garden, my fists clenched by my side as I struggled not to put holes through every single bush I saw.
Eventually, though, I hit a dead end. Just like every aspect of my life, there was nowhere to go any longer, no path forward–I could only go back and try again. I thrust my hands into my hair, pulling at the roots until it hurt, and let out a harsh scream of frustration.
Why?
Why was it always like this? Why couldn’t I ever catch a break?
Why wasn’t I good enough?
I fell to my knees and thrust my fist into the dirt, hoping to relieve the tension, anger, and worthlessness that dragged down but of course, it didn’t work. It never worked.
All it proved was that they had made the right choice, yet again.
I sighed heavily, shifting to sit so my back was the random tree I’d found. I shut my eyes and thrust my head into the bark, ignoring the slight pain as I wished with all of my might for to wake up and realize all of this was just a bad dream.
But things never worked the way I wanted them to.
Sothing I should have known yet again.
“Alessandro.”
My jaw snapped shut, my teeth biting down and slowly I opened my eyes to see Giovani standing before , a calm look on his face.
Don’t show your weakness, I thought to myself, trying to rember everything I’d learned about holding in my temper.
Don’t let him have the satisfaction of seeing break, I thought.
“What?” I bit out, the anger seeping out anyway, just as it always did. “What could you possibly want from now?”
Giovani tilted his head with no sign of anything on his face, and God, I hated him for that. It was the part of him that I resented the most, to so easily be able to lock away his emotions, so logical like a goddamn robot.
Well, I was done. There was nothing else he could take from .
I snapped.
“What?” I scread, jumping to my feet as I got in his face, a snarl on my lips. “What more do you want to take from , you fucking asshole? You’ve fucked over for the last ti, Giovani, because I’ve got nothing else! You got the girl I loved, the position that should’ve been mine. Even my fucking parents loved you more than ! What the fuck could you possibly want with now?”
“Alessandro–” he called out.
But I wasn’t fucking done yet.
“Are you here to gloat?” I shot at him, my body shaking with fury as I finally laid out all of my grievances on him. “Here to show off how you won? How you finally manage to destroy and everything I’ve worked for? How you had running around like a goddamn rat for you, doing whatever you wanted while you never even intended to give the Don position in the first place! You said you trusted , gave my own team, and let handle things! Was that all just a fucking lie to placate ? Just a way to wield your holier-than-thou attitude against ? Were all of you just fucking laughing at behind my back this whole ti?”
“Ales–”
“Cause I’m done!” I threw my hands in the hair, stepping back from Giovani with a snarl. “I’m fucking done with you and all of this. You can all go back to your perfect lives and I’ll go fuck off like you all want to!”
The only sound that ca after was my heavy breathing as I fought to catch my breath, the tension between the two of us thick in the cold night air, so thick it felt like trying to breathe through molasses. I could almost reach out and grab it with my hands, but the exhaustion followed after the anger faded away.
Disappointnt lodged in my throat, the misery squeezing my heart for every last drop of grief I had left yet. It was agony, standing there in the silence between us, waiting for him to give his last judgnt, to finally kick out of the family like they should’ve done long ago.
I should have known from the beginning that this was never my place to begin with, that I didn’t belong here.
I was too broken.
“Alessandro,” Giovani called out, stepping forward and laying a hand on my shoulder. I wanted to shrug him off but I was too exhausted. “You are not broken.”
I flinched, glancing up at him with wide eyes. Did I say that out loud? How the fuck did he–
He gave a sad smile, a knowing one, and I felt like he could see straight through , past all of the anger I hid behind. It was uncomfortable like I was naked in front of an audience.
“You have your own strengths and your own flaws, Alessandro,” Giovani continued softly. “You were honestly one of my top choices, but ultimately, you are an emotional person, and that’s not a bad thing. But one of the hardest decisions to make as a Don is when to think with your brain and not your heart.”
He tapped right over the organ and I swallowed uncomfortably.
“Being the Don isn’t everything and I doubt it would actually make you happy, Alessandro,” Giovani told plainly, “So take that big heart of yours and all of those strengths that make you a better man than , and use them to carve out your own path.”
And suddenly, I wasn’t angry anymore.
I shrugged off his touch, stepping back again as I grabbed my wrist and thought deeply about what he said.
“I get what you’re saying, I do,” I told him quietly. “And I know that Tallon is the better choice, that he can... lead better. But It’s still hard to accept. I’ve worked for this for my entire life and you want to just give it up? I need... ti.”
Giovani nodded, giving a reassuring smile as he said, “Take your ti, then, Alessandro. We’ll always be here, happy to have you.”
I nodded, still feeling low but better than I had. I didn’t feel like I was about to explode, and that was progress, I supposed. I made my way out of the garden, but a nagging voice in my head stopped .
I sighed, glancing at Giovani one last ti as I said, “Tell Tallon congrats for . That’s the best I can do for now.”
“Will do.” Giovani nodded in agreent.
And I left. There was nobody there to stop , and I could hear the party still going from the dining room when I stepped into the house once more. I caught a glimpse through the open door of Tallon, laughing as he was surrounded by our family, grins and happy wishes thrown his way. I turned away with a heavy heart.
I was never the life of the party anymore, not like Tallon.
I should have known that.
Reviews
All reviews (0)