*Olivia*
I tapped my feet on the floor of the limo and tried to peer out the darkened windows to guess how long until we arrived back at the compound. The night away had definitely been the right choice, but it didn’t reduce the weight of Gio’s missed calls on my phone or the things he said to .
I didn’t want to stay away any longer, but I didn’t know what sort of husband I was coming back to. Could I expect the warm, loving man who held as we cried about our infertility, or the cold mafia don who’d called silly and jealous?
Dahlia reached over and took my hand. “You know I’ll kill him if he acts out again.”
I laughed despite my nerves. “I know. I just think nineteen is a little young to be widowed.”
She squeezed my hand and looked at seriously. “He may be big, and he may be intimidating, but you deserve to be heard. Hell, he noticed Elena was encroaching on him first. You just need to be able to talk to each other without him freaking out.”
I snorted. “I know, but that’s not really in my court.”
The limo pulled up the long driveway and slowed. I took a deep breath, squeezed Dahlia’s hand, and climbed out of the car.
A guard leaned over and knocked on the front door, and Gio swung it open. My heart leaped into my throat. He looked rumpled, careworn. His shirt was untucked, and I could see bags under his eyes. Distantly, I heard Dahlia climb out of the limo behind . I took a step forward, trying to see the look in his eyes.
He stepped closer as well. His blue eyes ca into view, almost quivering with hope and worry. He opened his arms, an invitation for to close the distance.
I hesitated. I hated seeing him hurt like this, but he’d hurt . I didn’t want to rush back into his arms without resolving anything. I didn’t want him to think he could treat like that.
I took a deep breath and shook my head. He folded his arms neatly behind his back and stepped to the side, allowing Dahlia and into the compound.
I wound my arm through Dahlia’s, and we walked inside. Gio trailed after and closed the door behind us.
One of the armchairs from his office had been dragged into the main entryway, along with a small table holding a pile of paperwork. He saw my gaze land on it and cleared his throat.
“I didn’t know when you would be ho.”
He’d been waiting for ? He abandoned his precious office to sit, exposed, as close to the door as he could for fear of missing ?
Dahlia pulled her arm out of mine. “I’ll let you two talk.”
As she left, she leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Don’t take his shit, no matter how sweet he’s being.”
I smiled after her. Whoever the enemy, I always had soone in my corner.
“Ah,” Gio said. “How was your night?”
I scuffed my foot against the floor. “Good, good. With... everything, I’d kind of forgotten how to be a college student. Dahlia took clubbing for the first ti in a long ti, and I rembered how much I missed dancing.”
He nodded. “I’m glad you had a good ti.” His voice sounded throaty and uneven.
I looked up at him. Emotion brimd in his eyes, complex and difficult to understand, but I got the sense he ant what he said.
“Perhaps... perhaps you can take to a club soti... if my dancing wouldn’t embarrass you too badly,” he said almost shyly.
I sighed. “Gio, what are we doing?”
He stiffened. “I’m welcoming my wife ho from a much-needed night out. What are you doing?”
I crossed my arms. “No, you’re not. You’re welcoming your wife ho from a much-needed getting-the-fuck-out-of-Dodge because we fight more often than we talk these days. We can’t exchange a few pleasantries and get right back into the swing of things.”
He drooped, and my heart panged. I hated making him unhappy, but Dahlia was right. I had to stand my ground.
“You’re right, carina. Will you co to our room with ? I’d rather not do this where everyone can hear.”
I bit my lip. “I’ll co to our sitting room.”
I’d missed him enough that I worried I’d have trouble maintaining my focus and righteous anger with our bed right there.
He nodded unhappily and led the way.
I let him take a seat on one of the couches before perching myself on the other, keeping the low coffee table between us.
“I am genuinely pleased you had a good night,” he said.
“My good night made realize I can’t just keep dancing around problems and hoping they’ll fix themselves,” I replied. “I haven’t had fun since Tuscany, did you know that?”
He ran a hand through his hair. “Not in so many words, but I’d be hard-pressed to say I have either.”
I uncrossed my arms and spread my hands. “Why can’t we just talk to each other like we used to?”
He sighed and slumped against the back of the couch. “I wish I knew, carina. I want to, but sothing keeps taking over my mouth and making say things I regret.”
My heart soared at his admission, but he didn’t seem finished, so I stayed silent.
“I spent half the night trying to apologize to you, and the other half imagining sweeping you in my arms and apologizing as soon as you got ho.”
The corner of my mouth ticked up. “Do you know you still haven’t?”
He ran a hand over his face. “Would you believe if I said no? I don’t sleep as well without you next to .”
I nodded. He reached a hand across the coffee table, and I put my hand in his. I’d missed the warmth of his touch, even before I left. When had we last held hands? How had we forgotten?
“Carina, belissima, I am sorry. I felt like you were doubting my fidelity, and I lashed out. I love you, only you, and I didn’t like having that called into doubt. But I should never have said the things I said.” He bent and pressed a soft kiss to the back of my hand.
Tears welled in my eyes. “I’m sorry you felt like I was doubting you. I’m just scared, Gio. I’ve learned how to deal with all these physical threats, but nothing has threatened our relationship like this before. I don’t know what to do.”
He smiled softly and opened his arms once more. I nearly vaulted the coffee table in my desire to enfold myself in his arms.
For a mont, we just sat like that, hugging and tense with emotion. Finally, he leaned back, and I rested my head against his chest.
“What are you scared of?” he asked.
I craned my head to look at him. “What?”
“When Dmitri was circling, I knew what the threat was, and that made it easier to fight.” He shrugged, and my head shifted with his muscles. “Perhaps if we lay out the problem, we can get on the sa team and face it together.”
I smiled. “My husband, the brilliant tactician.”
His eyes sparkled as he grinned.
“Alright,” I said. “But only if you share yours, too. You wouldn’t be this touchy if you weren’t nervous about sothing.”
He inclined his head. “One for one.”
I swallowed and tucked my head back into his chest to avoid his gaze. “I’m scared I’m going to want to be pregnant my whole life. Elena’s showing now, and every ti I look at her, I get so jealous it hurts. I want to carry a baby, our baby, and I want it so bad it makes do stupid things.”
“Oh, my carina.” Gio pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “I wish more than anything I could fix that for you.”
I leaned into his touch. “Not even money can fix this. But what if it keeps happening? What if I keep getting more and more jealous until I can’t even stand to be in the sa room with her? What if I miss our baby’s birth because I wish I was on the table so bad?”
He squeezed . “If it gets worse, you tell , and I’ll hold you through it. I know how much you want this baby, and I know you won’t let anything get in the way of what you want.”
I snuggled into his arms. My fears did seem a little less all-consuming with him wrapped around . “Now you.”
“I’m scared I won’t be a good father, or that I already am not.”
“No—” I started.
He squeezed , and I stopped.
“I had no father worth speaking of. I have no model, unless you count Jas, who faked his death after Alessandro was born.”
My mouth fell open, but he plunged onward.
“He got better after that, but it’s still not what I want for our baby. I want to be the stability I didn’t have, and I don’t know how, and that scares .”
I wrapped my arms around his torso and squeezed. “I can tell you that I think you’re going to be a great father, but you already know that.” I twisted to stare up at his stony face. “So instead, I’ll remind you that you gave yourself up to the enemy to rescue Alessandro, who’d been blackmailing you and making your life hell for weeks.”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”
“That’s what kind of dad you’re going to be.” I smiled. “You’re going to do whatever needs to be done, consequences be damned, to take care of our kids, no matter what ss they got themselves in. You’ve already proved that. Admittedly, I don’t have much more experience in the dad arena, but I can’t imagine wanting more.”
A smile cracked his stony face. “You make a good argunt. What else?”
I took a deep breath. “I know it sounds shitty, but I’m scared you’re going to fall for Elena because she’s carrying our baby. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just....” I chewed my bottom lip. “I want to be her so bad that I can’t imagine you not wanting that, and I really think she’s trying to get you to think the sa.”
Gio sighed. “Alright, let’s talk about it. I understand your insecurity, and I’m happy to do what it takes to make you feel comfortable, but I have a hard ti when you doubt .”
I sat up in his lap to face him. “I’m not trying to doubt you.”
He nodded. “But that’s what it sounds like, and it hurts when I’m already struggling to believe I have the ability to do this.”
I stared into his eyes, absorbing his words. I hadn’t imagined how it might look from his side, that I freaked out every ti I found him alone in a room with our surrogate. Compounded with his fears about being a dad... well, maybe I understood why he blew up.
“Okay, so we’ve gotta compromise.” I blew out a breath. “What about, you promise to do your best not to be alone with her, and I promise to take you at your word when you say nothing happened?”
He considered for a mont, then nodded. “That could work for . Would that actually work for you, or would you just be ignoring your hurt?”
I smiled. Even in this difficult mont, he was checking to make sure I was really alright and not sacrificing myself for him.
“I think so,” I said honestly. “But can I ask a couple more things?”
He smiled indulgently. “Always, carina.”
I steadied myself. “Did your... extended background check on Elena pull up anything I should know about?”
Gio sighed, and his eyes went distant. “No. I’ve had Gabriele combing every avenue I can think of, and a few I’m certain he invented, and there’s nothing.”
I read hours of work in his gaze and nodded. He wouldn’t half-ass sothing this important.
“And can we do this—” I looked down at where our bodies t “—more often? Touching, kissing, you know. We’ve been so distant, and I miss you.”
He pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “I’ve missed you, too. Consider it done.”
I wound my hands into his hair. “We can do this, right?”
Gio leaned his forehead against mine. “We can do this. And there’s no one I’d rather do it with.”
I leaned in and kissed my husband, so completely in love that my worries floated away from , if only for the mont.
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