*Olivia*
In the stillness of the night, I groaned as I briefly awoke from the arms of sleep. I shifted onto my side, yawning into my palm as I blinked my eyes. It was dark, and the red lights of my alarm clock shone back at –2:33 AM.
I shut my eyes again, hoping to drift off for so more sleep before I had to wake up, but I heard a soft creak. It was so quiet, I almost missed it.
It was easy to pass it off as just hearing things, but the second creak was not. I glanced at the shut door, and that’s when I noticed a dark shadow creeping by the crack underneath it.
Was the hallway light on? And who was standing in front of my door?
My heart raced, and I shut my eyes, pretending to be asleep as the door handle turned slowly and softly. The door opened, casting a light across my face, and I tried not to stiffen up as I heard soone slipping inside, the door shutting soon after.
I heard them moving, shuffling across the floor toward my bed, and I was pretty sure I knew who it was by their footsteps.
They stood in front of my bed for a few monts of silence, just watching , and it would be creepy if I hadn’t known who it was. I heard the clinking of shoes, a belt, and fabric rustling like they were pulling clothes off.
I felt the pull of the comforter as he sighed and gently, without much movent, laid down beside . He grabbed one of the pillows I had left on that side of the bed, completely obscuring the hallway light from under the door.
He got comfortable, shifting only the slightest bit before warm, calloused hands wrapped around my waist and pulled into the burning radiator of a strong body. It was familiar, so familiar that a sigh burst out of my lips as I snuggled into his chest on instinct.
He tucked his cold feet against mine, and I smiled, keeping my eyes shut even as I felt the broad chest shift with their chuckle.
“You’re awake?” Giovani asked softly.
“Yeah,” I nodded, knowing the jig was up. I sighed, regretfully, knowing that Giovani didn’t co here just for cuddles. This was about what had happened between us earlier.
I reluctantly pulled away from his embrace, ignoring the questioning look in his eyes as I sat up. The old T-shirt I had thrown on for pajamas had bundled up around my stomach, and I pulled it down to cover my bare thighs. I shifted the blanket onto my lap and finally looked at him.
Giovani gazed at with sad eyes, like a puppy begging for forgiveness for sothing it didn’t know it did wrong but just knew you were mad, knew you were disappointed–except this ‘puppy’ most certainly knew why I was upset.
“I’m sorry,” Giovani said quietly, “for earlier.”
I clenched my fists together, my nails biting into the skin as I swallowed down my anger. It felt like a pipe bomb had slid down my throat–dangerous and one minute from exploding outward.
Giovani sat up, the phone in his hand lighting up and casting a peculiar glow on his face. I hated it.
The look in his eyes was familiar. I had seen it, experienced it many tis before, and I was sure I would later. I’d seen it whenever I looked in the mirror, too.
Doubt.
I knew how well it could invade your mind like a parasite worming its way under your skin, invading the way you think, you act. It was impossible to get rid of, not completely, and it would always linger in the back of your mind.
“Gio–” I started, not even knowing what I was going to say but that I had to say sothing, anything to get that look out of his eyes.
But it was too late. The seed had nestled deep within his heart, and I couldn’t stop it anymore. There was a sad but determined look to him like a soldier heading off to war and knowing they might not co back.
Like he was saying goodbye.
He sat up against the headboard, curling his knee up and leaning his arm on it as he stared at the blankets.
“Maybe it would be best if we just forgot about everything,” he said slowly.
I stiffened, feeling my emotions climbing back up my throat, and this ti, they had claws. “Forget about... everything?”
He nodded, not even looking at . “Our relationship, I an–I don’t to waste your ti, Olivia. You’re so much younger than and I’m... not exactly a spring chicken. You should be with soone of your own age. Maybe....”
He heaved a sigh, wincing like his next words hurt to say.
“Maybe even Alessandro. He would be a good choice for you. He cares about you, and he’s around your age, too.” He brushed a hand through his hair, looking incredibly tired and stressed. “He’s a better match for you–”
“Are you done?”
My voice was cold, practically liquid nitrogen, as it hit him, and his eyes widened as he finally looked at , flinching back from whatever he saw in my eyes.
While my voice was cold, my body was not. Every word out of his mouth had only served to feed the anger that had only started budding. Now it was in full bloom.
And if he thought my anger was as pretty as a rose, he was mistaken. This was a corpse flower, a disgusting, ugly thing that only wanted to devour all of him in its blind rage.
I slipped off the other end of the bed, getting to my feet before I faced Giovani, crossing my arms over my chest. In a T-shirt used as a nightgown, I knew I didn’t look the most intimidating, but by the wary look on Giovani’s face, I was getting through his thick skull.
“Are you done deciding my life for ?” I snapped, keeping my glare on him as he flinched back. “You and Alessandro both think that you know what’s best for , but you don’t! This is my life!”
Sha crossed his features before he started with that bullshit again.
“I just think–”
“I don’t care what you think!” I retorted. “I am not going to let you decide what’s best for because only I can do that!”
I clenched my fists by my side, my lip trembling as emotions rippled through . Anger, sadness, doubt, frustration, fear–I felt all of it at once, and it was overwhelming.
“I’m sorry, I just want you to be safe, to be happy,” Giovani tried with a helpless expression.
“And I can decide that for myself!” My hands shook at my side, my whole body screaming with frustration. “Not you! Not Alessandro! !”
“I know, but you don’t understand–”
“You think I haven’t thought about all the potential downfalls?” I cut him off, not listening to any of it. “You think I haven’t thought over and over how it could ruin my friendship with Dahlia or that I might get hurt, or worse, die?”
He flinched, getting to his feet.
“I would never let that happen,” he growled, reaching for .
I brushed his hands away, stepping back. “But you have!” I told him fiercely. “I am already caught up in all this. It’s my decision to stay, my decision to be with you, not anyone else’s. I don’t care about the danger, or age difference, or anything else! I want to be with you!”
I breathed out heavily, my anger fading like a dying fla. I wrapped my arms around my middle, trembling as I glanced at Giovani. Tears began to run down my face as the fear returned to devour from the inside out.
Without him... what was I even staying for? Why would I put myself through this ntal torture over and over again if he didn’t even want to fight for ?
He’d said he loved .
But doubt was a stubborn and hungry creature.
“I love you.” My voice broke as I glanced at him helplessly. “That’s all that matters to .”
“Olivia.”
He reached out for , but I shook my head, stepping back one final ti as I held myself together as best as I could. I brushed the tears from my face, hardening like a stone as I glared at him.
“But that’s clearly not enough for you,” I bit out, harshly.
He stepped back, a wounded look on his face, but I wasn’t the one going to give in now. I was tired of hiding, of lying to my friends, of being afraid.
I clenched my fists, my anger returning as I closed the distance between us, standing face-to-face with him.
“I’m going ho,” I declared. “I’m tired of being scared. I was only staying for you, for our relationship, but clearly, I don’t matter more than everyone else’s opinions.”
I stared into his eyes, searching for sothing, anything, but all I saw was darkness. I shook my head disappointedly, turning away from him.
Right as I did, however, a strong grip latched onto my arm.
“Giovani, let go–” I snapped, turning around, but I didn’t get to finish as I was pulled into a hard body, his lips eting mine in a kiss.
He grabbed my jaw with his other hand, holding still as he dove into my mouth, taking control in a flurry of passion and, despite how angry I was, I lted into him.
Our tongues battled for dominance, and I wrapped my fingers into his hair, gripping it tightly as he held my waist with the other.
I was so stunned, I forgot exactly what we were talking about as I could only focus entirely on his lips on mine.
I was swept away by the passion as he tasted over and over again, only breaking for breath when I couldn’t breathe anymore. But with the fresh air in my lungs, my eyes flew open as I rembered what was happening.
“No!” I pushed him in the chest as hard as I could, my ager strength not even able to move him, but he backed away anyway.
I tried to catch my breath, my mind whirling to understand what had happened.
“Olivia–”
“No!” I shook my head, standing firm as I glared at him. “I’m tired of the secrets and sneaking around. If you just want so late-night sex, you can go find soone else! I’m not doing this anymore!”
It hurt to say those words aloud, sounding too final to my ears. I shuddered, my heart breaking in two as I stood there on the other side of a line that I myself had drawn between us.
But it was a necessary one.
“Olivia...” he said softly, reaching for .
I was too exhausted now to fight him off as he brushed my cheek and raised my head to et his gaze.
“I love you.” He ran his thumb along my bottom lip, a tender and sweet look on his face. “I want you, not just for sex.”
As much as I wanted to trust him, to place my faith in him, I knew I couldn’t for one simple reason.
“You’ve said that before,” I said sadly. “How can I believe you now?”
Giovani flinched, casting his eyes downward like he was searching for an answer. I shook my head sadly, pulling out of his grip.
His face flashed with an expression I couldn’t quite na. Sadness? Desperation?
“Fine, Olivia. It’s your decision to make,” he said, a tone of nonchalance taking over his voice as he stared at . “But you have to know this is more than just sex to . I want you to stay. I want to be with you. But I can’t force you to do anything against your will, and I won’t beg for you. If you go, I’ll never be the sa. But it’s your choice. Stay or go. Either way, I love you.”
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