Becca.
After a pause, I said, “Neal, you didn’t kill Tally.”
There was silence on the other line for quite so ti. I leaned back in my chair, wondering what could be going through his mind right now. I’d be able to explain what was going on soon for him, at least.
“What?”
“I saw the forensic report,” I said softly, glad at the montary distraction from my own thoughts to reassure him. “The bullet that killed Tally wasn’t fired by your gun type. One of the Russians must have fired at the sa ti.”
Had he been living with this the entire ti? I felt my heart clench. Clearly, he’d regretted it, and it was a source of so much pain. In fact, I heard a choked sob co from the other line. I smiled to myself at the fact that now he could have peace. I wish he would’ve said sothing to when we lived together for all of those months.
“I... I thought that I’d been the one to do it,” Neal said, letting out a slight sigh. Relief spilled into his tone, and he said, “Thank you, Becca. For freeing from that. I’m a good example of this being hard to live with. But... I will say yours is a different case.”
“How?” I muttered, reminded once again of what I’d done and shuddering. No matter how much I told myself that I needed to do what I did, and nothing had been intentional, here I was, self-hatred seething and ripping through at killing soone.
“I know you’re guilty and didn’t an to, but yours was a clear case of self-defense. Just keep rembering that. Keep rembering that if you hadn’t done what you did, you and your daughter would be dead,” he said.
Hearing it from others was definitely helping. I nodded, then rembered he couldn’t see . I said, “Thank you, Neal.” I gave a long pause, then let out a sigh. “I appreciate that. I’ll try to rember.” This conversation was helping feel a little better, at least.
“You’re welco. I can move on with my life because of you, Becca. I really do appreciate that,” he said. “Thank you for answering the phone.”
“I almost didn’t,” I said, my tone shifting to a very serious one. “Because of how you’d been acting, what with the ‘missing you’ thing and such. You can move on with your life, but not with . I love Jas. Do you understand that?”
“I do,” Neal said. I could hear the honesty in his tone and let myself relax a little. Neal added, “I’m sorry for putting you through so much stress. I was lost in my head, I should have known to leave you alone and not ask questions that would burden you.”
“Especially after I tried getting settled with the kids,” I muttered, recalling that his question had co shortly after the court date. Speaking of which, I said, “Allison was sent here by the Cartwrights. They’re still at it. They lost one of their cards now, but...”
“I wouldn’t let it worry you too much, Becca,” Neal said. “Aside from sending Allison, what can they do? They probably paid for her ticket and everything, along with whatever convoluted plan she’d tried to pull on you.”
“Does that an there may be an obvious link there?” I asked. Then, I bit my lip. “An international cri. I hope the news stations leave us alone.” I shuddered, not wanting caras in my face or all of that ss.
“I hope so too,” Neal said. “Were you bombarded by people asking for interviews while trying to recover from what Allison did physically?”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “It’s all pretty much a blur, the hospital visit.”
“As for the obvious link,” Neal said, jumping back to the other thing I said. “If so, that will be yet another red mark on their record. They can’t keep running from their dirty dealings forever. I should know.”
“I hope you’re right,” I said with a sigh. “Truth is, Neal, I miss you, but as a friend. Just a friend. I need friends in tis like this, not soone looking to take to bed or go anywhere romantically. I don’t want you to misinterpret what I’m saying.”
“I understand,” Neal said. “I know it’s ti for to move on from you, Becca. That’s sothing I will do. If you miss as a friend, then I want to be a friend. Just a friend. You have Jas, and your family. It would be wrong of to try and get in the way of that.”
“Thank you,” I said, my voice dripping with genuine happiness at that. “Get so rest. I can hear the sadness and relief in your tone. I think you’re out of it like I am right now. Aren’t you?”
“I am,” Neal said, sniffling. As I suspected, he’d been crying this entire ti, which was good. Doing that helped relieve emotional tension that built up from tis like this. Neal and I bid each other farewell, and I felt much warr than when I answered the phone.
After a mont, I put my phone down and told myself that I could finally rest my mind. I didn’t need to worry about Neal begging to take him back or anything like that, because he sounded honest. I hoped he found soone else who would make him happy.
Speaking of the kids, I snapped out of my lancholy and ran my fingers through my hair. I hadn’t had a chance to see them much since I’d had my several-day ltdown. They were the reason I worked so hard and held my ground there.
I exited my room, heading to the nursery in the compound and knocking on the door. Madeline was in there playing with Dahlia and Alessandro. In a kind voice, she said, “Co in.” I obliged, entering the room, my eyes falling upon the middle-aged nanny.
Madeline had a few toys in her hand and was moving them in front of a very happy Dahlia while Alessandro looked on, intrigued. The little boy, for his part, was walking around, waving his arms when he saw enter.
“Mama, mama!” he said, then added, “Hi!” This caused a very warm, fuzzy feeling to rush through my body. I walked up to him and swept him into my arms, grinning widely as he giggled. I sniffled, letting him bury his face into my chest, then looked at Madeline.
“How are you feeling?” the nanny asked, her voice full of hope. She gave a wide smile as I played with Alessandro and bounced him around. I considered her question, then gave a soft shrug, my eyes distant and my lips pulled into a slight frown.
“Better than before, but still not great,” I confessed, letting out a sigh. “I can’t believe I did what I did, Madeline. Seeing Dahlia here, just fine and playing around with you, does help. How have you been? Sorry this all has co up and caused so much stress.”
“Oh, Becca, darling!” Madeline said with a gasp, shaking her head and giving a reassuring smile. “Please, do not apologize. None of this is your fault. You have gone through so much, and what you did to save the kids was so brave.”
“I’m honored you think so,” I replied, hugging Alessandro close for a few monts longer before letting him down on the ground. The little boy bounded over to Dahlia and grabbed a toy car, moving it in front of her and initiating play.
Madeline laughed and let go of Dahlia so she could crawl around and play with Alessandro. The nursery was filled with the sounds of the children giggling and squealing from playing around. It ward my heart further.
I took a seat as Madeline spoke again. She said, “As for how I’m feeling, I’ve just been worried about you and Jas. Jas seed distant and a touch cold, darling, I don’t know what it was. He visited the kids often, though. These past few days, as a matter of fact.”
I swallowed, knowing it was because of . “I may have been snappy with him,” I said softly. “I needed to be alone and told him to go away when I was in the other room. He may think I’m mad at him, but I’ve just been so lost because of what happened.”
“Well, you went through a very traumatic experience, darling,” Madeline said, her tone very soft. “I think it’s understandable, and he will get it, too, when you speak with him. The kids help him to feel better, though. He’s spend hours playing with them.”
“He has?” I asked, reminded of how dedicated a father Jas was. I let myself smile widely at this. Hearing her words improved my mood even further, because despite our hardships, we were turning out to be such a wonderful family.
The kids were safe now, and so were we. Madeline nodded, beaming at . “Of course. He laughs with them and lets them tumble around. He talks about how he looks forward to keeping this up as they grow, gives them warm hugs and nice kisses on the forehead.”
The fuzzy, happy feeling intensified, and I felt my hand fly to my heart. Right then, my stomach lurched, and I let out a groan. Madeline stared at in confusion until I shot her an apologetic look. “I’m still not feeling well,” I confessed.
Madeline said, “I wish you checked at the hospital for that, darling!” She gasped, then shook her head, tutting. “That could be sothing very bad. You’ll go to the doctor now, at least, that you have so ti to settle your mind?”
“I should have brought it up, yeah,” I sighed. “I just wanted to get ho, though. I was so worried about the kids, my mind was completely in the gutter, and all I could think about was leaving. I’ll go to the doctor, though. I’m hoping it’s nothing.” Maybe I should read over the reports they gave to see if there was anything in there. I wasn’t sure where I’d even put them.
“They’ll take care of you, I’m sure,” Madeline said reassuringly. We carried on our conversation for a couple of hours as I played with the kids. Then, I bid her a nice rest of the day, wanting to visit again later to spend ti with the kids.
For now, I needed to approach Jas and let him know everything was okay. He was right to be worried, after all that happened, and after I’d treated him. I felt a pang of guilt, but knew I couldn’t help it at the ti.
Not to ntion, this virus or whatever it was was just getting worse. That was another factor. I hadn’t been doing well ntally or physically, but all of this support was helping through the forr. I knew Jas would understand.
I entered the kitchen and put the tea kettle on the stove, looking forward to talking things out with Jas and letting him know he was very loved.
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