Becca.
Everything was a blur, and I really couldn’t focus well at all. The sirens blared in my ears, but everything was just not clicking for . I let out a soft groan, trying to focus, only to draw a complete blank.
After a while, I reached up to rub my temples, only to find my arms were tied down. I couldn’t move. I groaned and thrashed in my bed, snarling, “No, Allison, leave my daughter the f*ck alone.” That’s when the mory ca rushing back, and my eyes flew open.
Everything ca into focus. White everywhere. White tile. I was a zombie for a while, I didn’t know how. I just kept saying, “I want to go ho.” Repeating it over and over. I think I was there for three days. Jas kept trying to assure that I needed to rest. It was hard to get through it, being away from the family and our ho, but eventually, I was ho and able to see my children.
At the mont, I was in the living room, staring at my hands and trying to grasp the situation. An officer stood before with a clipboard in hand, wanting to round out a few last things before leaving. I had a headache, and was done, but would cooperate.
“Miss Woods, can you confirm what Allison Valentino said before her death? We are rounding out the situation, and the details have been taken care of, but I just need another check,” he said. I nodded, having been told it was a solid case of self-defense.
“She threatened my daughter. She was going to murder her when she killed . Or before she killed ,” I said. I paused. “I am not sure. She was going to kill Dahlia. I couldn’t let that happen. My little girl is innocent.” Tears began to fall from my eyes rapidly.
Eventually, I sat there with my head in my hands, shaking with sobs. This was all too much to handle. What I’d done kept replaying in my head. There was so much blood. Allison had been there, motionless, bleeding out because of what I’d done.
“I see,” said the officer, trying to keep his tone much more tender now, though that didn’t help. He said, “Rest assured, it’s a clear case of self-defense, and your confirmation will help us so that we do not need to press further.”
Lifting my head, I gave a nod, trying to keep my eyes on him and my focus strong. I was having a hard ti, though. This all was just too much. I had killed soone, and it was weighing heavily on my brain. Jas had regretted the fact that the cops had even gotten involved since his Family usually took care of bodies themselves, but an ambulance had to be called, and that necessitated cops as well. Thankfully, Giovani knew so people at the station and had assured Jas it would be nothing to worry about.
The police left after that, assuring the case was very cut and dry. I’d been told Allison had hired so goons to break in, professionals who could properly distract security. Her plan nearly worked. She was unhinged, and wanted to sneak in and kill while everyone was distracted.
She nearly succeeded. Why did I feel so terrible, then? She was going to kill Dahlia. Still, I didn’t want to kill her. I didn’t want any of that to happen. Now, I had to have that weighing on for the rest of my life.
I clutched my stomach, feeling it lurch again. The mysterious sickness hadn’t gone away, and it’d only gotten worse. The hospital staff hadn’t said anything at all about it. They’d given so many dications while I was there for the pain, I hadn’t felt like myself anyway, let alone notice the nausea.
I didn’t emphasize the sickness because I just wanted to be ho. I hadn’t even looked at the any of the paperwork they’d given showing the tests they’d run. Maybe sothing would show up on there, but it didn’t matter to . I just needed to be with my children.
Eventually, Jas entered the room. He looked exhausted and emotional, tear streaks settled on his cheeks and his hair was incredibly disheveled.
He gave a weak smile that I didn’t return. Jas said, “I’m sad that Allison died, Becca, but she was ntally gone. It was a situation of self-defense. Either she was going to co out of that with you and Dahlia dead, or she was going to go down.”
I winced, feeling a pang of guilt and fear. The mory of her threats toward my daughter bombarded , and I knew he was right. However, that didn’t change things. I had killed her, and it was sothing I could never take back.
Jas walked toward , reaching out to put a hand on my shoulder. When he rested it there, I shrugged it off, shooting him a glare and saying, “Leave alone. Just...go into the other room, Jas. I need to be alone right now.”
Madeline was thankfully taking care of the children. Jas had made sure she was available to help the entire ti that I was in the hospital. Truth be told, she was wonderful with the kids, and I really needed her to help with them right now.
The weight of what had transpired was unbearable. I relocated into the guest room, not wanting to be disturbed. I needed a distraction of so sort from all of this. Therefore, I began researching Guatemala again, trying to remind myself of my goals, my hopes, and my dreams.
Was there hope for soone who killed a person out there? I felt a deep sense of remorse, and though I kept telling myself over and over that she deserved to die for how she threatened Dahlia and how she’d treated , I couldn’t get it out of my head.
Jas had killed plenty of people, and ordered the death of many, too. Intentionally. This didn’t seem to affect him one bit. Maybe he was made of different stuff than . I didn’t know. I began typing away on the computer, trying to chase away those thoughts.
Pictures of needy children caused my heart to clench. I really needed to get this situated and convince Jas to help . That had been on the back of my mind lately, and I’d made no progress with my research. I couldn’t really bla myself; it was all a blur.
Then, I thought about Antoinette. It was inevitable that she’d co up in my mind again when it ca to charity, as she’d given the idea in the first place. I hadn’t texted her since I read what she’d said.
“Maybe I should text her now,” I said, finally, giving a sigh and closing my eyes. I wasn’t sure if that was the most healthy of distractions, but it was all I could think about right this mont. Therefore, I reached for my phone and texted her.
‘Hi, Antoinette. It’s been a while. I still feel betrayed by all that happened. But I’m settling in here. I’m sure you’ve heard about Allison by now. I don’t know how she got here. I killed her in self-defense. I feel horrible,’ I sent to her.
I didn’t expect a reply right away, so I stared at my computer screen for a few minutes before my phone chid. Then, I read her reply. ‘Hi, Becca. Again, I am so, so sorry. They made do it. Allison? I heard she was getting money from the Cartwrights and they paid for her flight to Italy.’
Gasping, I felt a shiver go down my spine at that na. I should have known they would co up again. They promised they would, after all. I texted back, ‘Yes. She broke into our house and set up a distraction. It was either or her. I feel so evil.’
Antoinette texted back, ‘If it was in self-defense, she deserved it, Becca. Though I understand. It can be hard living with sothing like that. It’s always very hard dealing with your first ti.’
I furrowed my brow. What did she an by that? Running my tongue over my lips in confusion, I reached up and rubbed my temples. First ti killing? Did that an she knew the feeling and had done it before, multiple tis? ‘What do you an by that?’ I sent.
‘Nevermind that,’ she sent back. Another text ca in shortly after. ‘The Cartwrights are not doing so well right now. Gossip mill says the family is in shambles through argunt after argunt, bleeding money like a pig with its throat slit.’
I shuddered at that description, but felt a sense of relief. Even though they bailed out Allison and sent her here, it was nice to know they were not doing so well themselves. My stomach twisted, again, however, causing to clutch it and groan.
‘That’s good,’ I sent. Then, I added, ‘What about the other Stepford wives? The ones who chased out. Are they still as rabid as always?’
‘They are. I cut ties with most of them. I’m so tired of their toxicity. Thankfully, the quick falling of the Cartwrights ans that they’re losing a lot of interest in the situation now,’ she sent to , causing to smile faintly.
At least there was that. I closed my eyes, rubbing my abdon a bit and feeling bile rise into my throat. I really didn’t want to throw up right now. I didn’t want to throw up at any point, really, but right now I needed my head clear, and I wasn’t doing well ntally.
I sent, ‘That’s good. I’m happy for you. I’m looking into a charity for Guatemala. I’ve been doing a lot of research. Trying to avoid being disruptive. I figured if we texted, you could give so advice.’ I left out the part that it would be the least she could do after everything.
She agreed, and I sent her my email. She’d send so materials, she said, on how to go through with this idea properly. It was nice getting more information from a source who worked with things like that.
The distraction worked for long enough, but now that I was done speaking with Antionette, I found myself staring at the computer screen again, the mory of what I’d done just bombarding over and over.
There had been so much blood, and the thought of that poker sticking out from Allison’s chest caused whatever sickness was going on in my belly to worsen. Tears streaked down my cheeks as I began to cry, shuddering intensely at the emotions that I couldn’t handle right now.
Nothing would distract enough from this. I could research how to cope with killing soone in self defense, but I wasn’t sure if that would help. I could try to sleep, but I felt too sick, and would probably wake up so many tis like I had been lately.
I felt a pang of guilt at Jas, hoping he didn’t think I was mad at him for anything, either. I’d been short with telling him to go away, but I really needed to be alone right now.
The bile in my throat grew worse, and my stomach lurched again. I couldn’t delay going to the bathroom any longer, either. All of this misery was pouring over , and I still couldn’t stop feeling so sick.
Rushing to the bathroom, I cried harder, my negative feelings intensifying as I tried to grasp in my mind what could be going on.
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