Neal.
I could already tell Becca’s tone was off. Maybe this was a bad ti to call, but I couldn’t get her out of my head. Currently, I was sitting on my couch, staring at the wall and biting my lip.
It was too late to go back now. I had to go all in on this. Maybe she did miss .
I knew I should have been working on that job so Allegra would finally be able to stop worrying about it, but I couldn’t help these emotions tearing apart. I needed to know if she missed too. There would be so solace in that, right?
“I see,” Becca said, causing my heart to clench. God, I wish I could focus, right now, on that job rather than this wave of emotion that drove to call her. The stress was overwhelming, and I couldn’t get the thought of Tally’s death out of my head.
That, and the fact that Becca had chosen Jas over .
Why she would do such a thing, I would never know. Jas was standoffish and cold, dangerous, too, given those mafia connections. I shook my head, trying not to dwell on that and wanting to focus on the conversation.
We’d get back to whether she missed or not later. Maybe there was a chance we could be together again, should she leave Jas. I had no doubt Jas would ss up horribly and cause so rift. He was that type of guy.
“How did everything go?” I asked warily, wanting to hear a different tone in her voice. Hopefully, rather. I wasn’t sure how the trial went with how busy I’d been with my own issues. Maybe things would be looking up for Becca.
I hoped so. She deserved it.
“We got Alessandro,” Becca said, causing my heart to leap. When she said that, her tone was much more positive, dripping with relief. Good. The Cartwrights were devils, that much I knew. Lots of money, little morals, the whole deal.
“That’s wonderful. Not as smooth as you wished, though?” I asked, detecting that hint of hesitation again, and wanting the conversation to carry on. Just hearing her voice was helpful for right now.
“No,” Becca sighed. “When the court was making its decision, they said Jas needed to be away from Alessandro. Jas’s history was brought up, and he lost his temper sowhat at the ntion of Tally’s death.”
Truly, her words hit like a bullet there. I reached up and ran my fingers through my hair, closing my eyes, needing to compose myself.
That night was forever implanted in my mind. Tally was dead because of .
I’d been the one to fire that bullet.
A tear trickled down my cheek as the sharp stab of guilt hit hard. Alessandro was without his mother because of . Becca now filled that role and would do a beautiful job of it.
She was such a kind, strong, caring soul. God, I missed her with all of my heart.
I replied, “Oh? How did he lose his temper? Is he safe around the children, then?” Maybe I could whittle away at that and get her back. Would it be right? If she was better with , then of course it was.
“Not in a yelling way,” Becca replied. “But he was visibly upset and had no coback for much of what was said. He floundered. I would say we almost lost Alessandro because of that, but really, we almost lost Jas.”
“Really? What makes you say that?” I asked. Suddenly, I wished the court had ruled in favor of Becca, but not Jas. She would be better with , after all. Jas was the cause of a lot of strife, this case included, clearly.
“Well, the court was moved by my speech. I expressed how deeply I loved Alessandro, and how much he deserves a good life. Which is true. My heart bleeds for him, and I’m so happy I can give him a good life now. If he went with the Cartwrights, he would have a horrible life,” she said.
“That’s true,” I said. “How did you convince the courts as much? Money sings, after all, and the Cartwrights have a lot of that.”
“Well, Sasha, soone who worked for Chad, put into perspective just how horrible Chad is. She called him out for that ga of Russian roulette. She was very brave, but I hope she’ll be alright. She was clearly nervous,” Becca explained, concern in her tone.
“Very brave indeed,” I mused. “Glad she was able to muster up the courage and give you a leg up. Alessandro in that situation would be horrible. So people aren’t ant for kids. He would be present on the top of that list.”
“He would,” Becca agreed, letting out a sigh. “In the end, we were reunited. Jas wants to go to Italy,” she said, her voice now clipped. I raised a brow, detecting the distaste she had for the idea. Was it because of Jas’s mafia connections? I wouldn’t be surprised.
“That’s not good,” I said slowly. “Given his dangerous background. Won’t the kids be in danger?” I asked. I may have been watering a seed that had already been planted, but that conclusion is wholly logical. She was already upset with the idea, anyway.
I didn’t really lean into the idea that she would leave Jas anyti soon, as he was probably the best for her right now. Still, it was good to tell the truth, after what happened with Tally. I winced, once again reminding myself of that horrible shooting.
“Yes, that’s what I tried telling him. He didn’t listen, though. He held his ground, stubborn as a bull. I don’t know why he’s so hooked on going to Italy, but I don’t want to go anymore. I also don’t want to stay here,” she said.
“Why? New York not all it’s cracked up to be?” I asked.
“No. I don’t fit in here,” Becca said, the edge of sadness to her tone. She let out a sigh, and I could hear shifting. Her voice was a mixture of depressed and exhausted.
I felt a pang of guilt, realizing I probably woke her up. Oh well, too late now.
“You, and your beautiful mind and body, would fit in anywhere, I’m sure, Becca,” I replied smoothly. “But if you don’t feel New York is right for you, it’s best to move on to where you do fit in. And, of course, keeping your foot put down on the Italy situation.”
“Yeah,” Becca said. “Jas is wonderful for the children, and , but I’m really worried where this is going to go. That court battle was fought with so much difficulty. He loves the children, though. That’s what counts.”
I frowned, affirming in my mind that her being with Jas was probably for the best right now. Given her tone of voice, and what the kids needed, it made sense.
Still, there was a chance for the future. She opposed Italy, Jas wanted to go back to Italy. The kids were keeping them together.
Those kids deserved a bright future and stability. I wasn’t sure if Jas could really give that, but Becca seed to think that was the case, at least right this mont. Despite the obvious–the uncertainty surrounding where they would go.
All of that said, I finally decided to express what was on my mind, and what I couldn’t shake one bit. After clearing my throat, I said, “I know you’re with Jas. I’m glad he’s there for you and the children. But, like I said, I miss you. Do you miss ?”
The long pause had swallowing sowhat, droplets of sweat forming on my forehead. I focused on the clock across from , going back and forth as I waited for her response. The silence on the other line lasted thirty seconds, perhaps, but felt like hours.
“Neal,” she said, hesitating. “It’s all too much. You know we just got Alessandro, for sure. The thought of Jas needing to remain away, even despite this Italy thing, it’s terrible. The kids can’t handle changes right now.”
“Becca, I–”
“I can’t even think about that, right now, Neal. I can’t. I don’t even know where we’re going to live, this trial took so much out of us. This is just sothing I can’t handle right now, I need to go. Don’t call again,” Becca said.
Silence on the other line; she hung up. I felt my heart clench and exhaled sharply, tears now pouring down my cheeks. I knew she’d choose Jas again, I shouldn’t have called at all. I told myself over and over he was probably better for her right now, but that didn’t make it hurt less.
Was he better for her, though? Did I believe my own thoughts that I kept trying to drill into myself over and over? The waves of depression on this subject said otherwise. I bit my lip, placing my phone on the table and burying my face into my hands.
Between Becca’s decision just now, and my focus on those damn Russians that captured Allegra, I had my emotions shot. I could call Becca again, but she told not to, and I needed to accept it was as good as done.
Why? I had nothing left to lose.
That ant I could continue going after the people who brought my sister so much harm. Should I focus on Becca, or Allegra? Family ant everything, and though I was very depressed that Becca ended up with Jas, I needed to maintain my focus. After all, I had a long history with this particular Russian family. It needed to end.
But Becca’s words kept playing over and over in my head. ‘Don’t call again’. She didn’t say whether she missed or not, but did it matter? I wished she did, so I could put this madness away for good.
Letting out a groan, I stood up and walked through my residence, entering the office and taking a seat. I could work out more regarding the situation with Allegra right now, it would be a welco distraction. I was so close to finding the rat’s nest, so to speak, anyway.
Turning on the computer, my eyes swept over the many notes and details regarding the connections those people had. I was getting so close to offing them for good, and that would be one more problem checked off of my list.
Then, I could focus on other things. Like Becca, right? I let out a soft sigh, so many emotions swirling within . As much as I tried drowning myself in my work, and this situation in general, I couldn’t get her off my mind.
‘Don’t call again.’
Over and over. Clenching my jaw, I stood up, finished typing a few more pieces of information, and turned off the computer. Then, I headed to my room to lie down. Maybe I could clear my head properly now.
Doubtful. But it was worth a shot.
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