Becca.
We dressed in funereal black, standing at the head of a receiving line while family ca to pay their respects at a wake at the compound. There would be another wake at the Cathedral, a full Catholic Mass, and then a procession to the mausoleum where the late Don Valentino would be buried.
People had been bringing food for days. People of all walks of life who knew or felt indebted to or were associates with Don Valentino. I’d heard the kitchen staff say we had more food than we knew what to do with. Jas had told them if we had too much, to arrange with a local parish to distribute it to the poor.
I stood at Jas’s side. I wasn’t his wife, but I was the mother of his child, and he’d decided my place at the funeral was right beside him. I did get a few curious looks, but I was holding Dahlia and Jas was holding Alessandro, and we looked every bit the family we were. So what if it wasn’t conventional?
Layla was standing quietly off to one side, also wearing black. She was there just in case we needed her. Giana had her lined up respectfully where a servant ought to be. I decided I needed to have words with Giana at so point. Especially considering the older housekeeper had not allowed Layla to call when Don Valentino took Alessandro out.
Alessandro could have been killed. The very thought had woken up at night for two days. Jas had stayed with in my room with both the babies settled in the Pack ’n Play next to the bed. There was no way I was letting them out of my sight until the whole Ronaldo situation was resolved.
Jas spoke mostly Italian to the people offering their condolences. So gave him a kiss on either cheek. A few even did the sa to . But most seed to have spread the news that I was an Arican and just gave my hands a squeeze or a press.
“I can’t believe your uncle was so beloved,” I whispered to Jas, staring at the long line that led to us. It didn’t seem to be getting any shorter.
“Expecting sothing out of ‘The Godfather’?” Jas teased. “People are coming to pay their respects. Being a Don in the mafia isn’t just about shady, backdoor deals. You’re responsible for your community. My uncle did a lot of good things.”
I blushed, embarrassed. “I’m sorry for being so judgntal before.”
Jas shrugged. “If you only know what you see in the movies...”
“So...” I glanced around, and Jas signaled Tony, who ca over and made excuses so Jas and I could take a break and talk alone for a mont. “So... when I asked you to kill Ronaldo,” I said, lowering my voice, “was that... disrespectful?”
Jas’s jaw worked, and his eyes flashed with anger. “No, that was exactly what I’d expect a good mother to ask when her child was put in that kind of danger. And I fully intend to follow through on that request.”
“Oh. Okay, good.” I felt relieved I hadn’t put my foot in it. If I’d known where he was, I might have gone to take care of Ronaldo myself. Rip out his throat with my teeth. But I didn’t know where he was, and the babies needed alive.
New Zealand had taught about independence but also caution. I was still navigating this new world, not to ntion this relationship, with Jas. I needed to take things slow and think things through.
Jas tilted my chin up and gave a kiss. “Never be afraid of telling or asking for anything, Becca. The worst I can say is ‘no.’ I prefer honest communication between us.”
“I’d like that, too,” I said warily. “But... there’s still a lot we need to work through, Jas. And a lot you did keep from . I don’t want to be that broken up again.”
“We’re never going to be broken up again,” Jas replied. “I’m going to earn your trust back, Becca, I am. And I’m sorry I ever lost it.”
I nodded and squeezed his hand. I wanted more than anything to be able to trust him. But not all of my concerns even had anything to do with Jas. Well, not directly, anyway. Jas was definitely neck deep in the mafia now, and community leaders or not, I still didn’t want Alessandro involved.
Dahlia and Alessandro deserved normal lives. Or at least as normal as I could make them. I had no idea how I was going to navigate us out of this mafia world—and with any luck, take Jas with us.
All of that swirled in my brain, even while we were mourning the passing of Jas’s uncle.
“You’re stuck in one of your thought spirals again,” Jas murmured.
I blinked, and realized he’d been holding out a sandwich for to eat. “Oh... God... you’re right. Yes. Sorry.”
“You need to eat sothing, love,” Jas said with a kind smile. “And have a little faith that the rest will take care of itself.”
I frowned slightly but took the sandwich and began munching. I certainly didn’t want to be “handled.” Sotis when Jas spoke, I thought he was doing just that.
But this was not the ti or the place for that conversation.
Once I’d finished my sandwich and had a glass of wine, Jas took my hand, and we went back to the receiving line, which had multiplied to twice its size since we’d been gone.
“We’re going to be here all day!” I gasped.
“That’s why we stopped to eat,” Jas responded, patting my arm.
I fixed a serene smile on my face and kept accepting condolences. Many in the line tried out a little of their English on , I’m sure out of deference to the fact I didn’t understand Italian. But most just gave the Italian version of what they intended to tell . I asked Jas a few tis what was said, but as the sentints were always the sa, I’d just started smiling and nodding.
Layla took the children for a nap as morning waned into afternoon. Jas called Giana over to have a chair brought for so I wasn’t standing endlessly in my heels.
As I sat down, I watched the Italian procession move past us and to the casket. I was surprised that almost every single one of the wake goers kissed Don Valentino’s face on both cheeks, even though he was dead.
“It’s an Italian tradition,” Jas provided softly. “We’ll probably do the sa more than once. I didn’t want you to think it was weird, though, so I thought I’d let you see how it’s done.”
“No, it’s not weird. It’s actually kind of... nice,” I said. “I think it’s nice to show the children that death isn’t scary and all the love Italians give.... Arican funerals can be pretty cold by comparison.”
Jas looked stricken for a mont. “How was Tally’s funeral?”
“It was your funeral, too,” I reminded him, trying not to sound testy over the fact he’d let think he was dead for so long. I looked up at him and relented. “It was beautiful. Really and truly beautiful. I think you would have been pleased.”
“Good,” Jas whispered. “That’s good.”
By sunset, the line finally started to trickle down to sothing more manageable. Layla had returned with the children during the day but was now settling them down back in the nursery.
I could tell Jas was dead on his feet, but that didn’t stop him from greeting everyone who was still coming in. Then, suddenly, his face changed and lted from serious Don apparent into a real, genuine smile.
“Sofia!” he said, grasping the hands of one of the last people in line.
“Sofia” was actually a pretty apt na. She looked very much like a certain famous Italian actress—buxom, beautiful, with cat eyes and tempting lips. She captured the attention of every man in the room including, it seed, Jas.
“Ciao, Jas, co stai?” Sofia said, kissing Jas on both cheeks.
“I’m well, except for this dark business,” Jas replied, beaming at her.
“Ah. Yes, this is a terrible, terrible tragedy,” Sofia agreed, switching to English.
“It is. But how have you been? I haven’t seen you in forever,” Jas went on.
Sofia was more Jas’s age and made him smile in a way I didn’t think I ever had. Though I tried to tamp down on it, the little green monster in started rattling his cage.
“Oh, I have been very well,” Sofia said, her laugh like a trill of birdsong. “I know the old man did not like much, but I thought I would co pay my respects just the sa. And pay my respects to the new Don Valentino.”
Jas winced. “I’m glad to hear you say that, Sofia. I would have thought, with all the bad blood between you and my uncle, you would have written off entirely.”
Sofia shook her head. “Never. We beca such good friends when I went to the States after what Eugenio did. I was afraid you would not want to see because you have renewed your family ties.”
“I’d always want to see you, Sofia. And what Eugenio did had nothing to do with you,” Jas reassured her.
There were about ten people left in line, and so had begun tapping their feet. I was about to start tapping along with them, though not because I was worried about the line backing up. I was worried about this new woman that had suddenly popped up—or popped back—into Jas’s life.
I tugged on Jas’s sleeve. “Jas, I think there are others waiting in line to give their condolences.”
Jas blinked and looked past Sofia, as though seeing a world outside her for the first ti. “Yes, you’re right. I’m afraid we’ll have to catch up later, Sofia. Where are you staying in town?”
“I actually don’t have a room reserved yet. I booked the first flight I could get here when I heard about your uncle,” Sofia said.
I knew what was coming next, but it still felt like a stab in the back.
“You must stay here, then. Giana! Please find Mrs. Esposito a room in the mansion. We’ll talk later, Sofia. It’s just so good to see you,” Jas gushed.
Or at least I interpreted it as gushing. I tried not to feel sour and forced a smile on my face. “It will be so nice talking to you, yes.”
Sofia looked at , then at Jas, and burst out laughing. “Jas, idiota! You never introduced to your lovely companion!”
‘Yeah, Jas, you never introduced ,’ my mind echoed, my lips pursing in displeasure a mont before I regained my composure. “I’m Becca. I’m sure we’ll have plenty of ti to get acquainted later,” I said sweetly.
Jas cleared his throat self-consciously and used the distraction of the next person in line to escape my wrath and Sofia’s teasing.
As Giana escorted Sofia away, barking orders in Italian to nearby servants, I wondered about her. I wondered about her and Jas.
Who was this woman who could so enthrall him that he didn’t even rember I existed?
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